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Isn’t it strange We’re ALL Howling Wooh-Wooh-ing! At bricks and screens and lighted things Louder! More, more! Please! **** these cookies are good, my teeth are sticky, you have food at home, thanks to the sweet elderly woman named Heidi] God I wish I was less and more than I am But I know I couldn’t be everyone else Even though Id like to be So I clap, clap along [I havent scraped at stars in so long] So I text my Pacific friends the good news **** I want to howl again [The bar-back steps into the trash to crush it, we’re all swirling our glasses to Benito, this is the most beautiful People in America] And congratulations! That made my heart happy just a little bit So just keep looking! [For what?] And the bartender keeps telling me how sad I look Well that’s just my face these days, I spit [Yes and no, but I should take myself home] So I wink and in a blink I take myself home Where the hell was I going? And really, why am I here? I didnt wish for any of this over candles [I blew it, literally] Then I step over a hole in the sidwealk that looks to be the size of me Then there are all these strawberries smeared across the street Then I don’t really know how to fit into my footsteps anymore **** knows im sick of running from behind] But they keep yanking me in the usual directions I’m far away, but close as I’ve ever been Even though all last year I havent seen what’s in front of me But I think the night always wants it this way And whatever is left inside of me is now beyond reach And it exists nowhere and Im sending it off to be some weird ugly terrible no good what the hell were you thinking sorta thing But Im back here just for a flash Syllables and sounds belonging to you and belonging to me [Id be rich if I could only buy the place on Commerce street] Now I’m just clomping around, my toes kicking through and smooshing ***** snow around, digging up and burying down all the sounds i used to listen for My little self-mythology, I used to dream of words like these [Can’t you hear them, from ear to ear?] Maybe we don’t get what we want Maybe we don’t get what we need Maybe we get what we get Maybe that’s the end of it Maybe this is who I am for a while Maybe that’s alright with you but its not alright with me Wanting what we don’t have is the most human thing! [I can’t be the only one who always feels like this] But it’s everything, everything Again, again So I keep taking myself home And I shake myself down in the shower, screaming and swaying to Geese Washing that scent all over me Keeping the last of it under my nails And I thought I was pretty good at knowing when things are going to end But my mirror tells me that I only see that which I do not know [But man, Ive got great hair] And now its the morning and the first thought I think is that I hope I get those 15 good minutes today, please, please, please [Yesterday didn’t feel real] And how old do you have to be just to feel a little like a kid again? Maybe odd years are better for it But I havent been this scared since 27 And I know who I wont hear from today But please, please Let me come out of this looking stranger on some other side Of nothing resembling something [I am airless now, water doesnt even want me] Let me howl and honk: “…and I will break my own heart from now on” Turn me into a thousand million little crumbs to sprinkle into your eyes [So thou mayest see the dark in the light] But it just smears like candle ash And Im just sitting on the couch, dark like the TV, dark as all things I must be learning all the lessons of someone who has been here already **** Im sick of myself] But maybe in whatever mirror-life im in, I’ll be lucky enough to start listening to me again [There are orangey-pink striped clouds in the sky] But for now, today, I have nothing to do, just like everyday Maybe I’ll get some sleep tonight, tomorrow But I just want something to do So how about I teach myself something I should know? Like how guilt is a god And how shame sings the song of memory Like how lovely I am And how lovely I ought to be
0
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 5:55 PM UTC
Eating valentines cookies at a bar while watching the big game, happy birthday
Isn’t it strange We’re ALL Howling Wooh-Wooh-ing! At bricks and screens and lighted things Louder! More, more! Please! **** these cookies are good, my teeth are sticky, you have food at home, thanks to the sweet elderly woman named Heidi] God I wish I was less and more than I am But I know I couldn’t be everyone else Even though Id like to be So I clap, clap along [I havent scraped at stars in so long] So I text my Pacific friends the good news **** I want to howl again [The bar-back steps into the trash to crush it, we’re all swirling our glasses to Benito, this is the most beautiful People in America] And congratulations! That made my heart happy just a little bit So just keep looking! [For what?] And the bartender keeps telling me how sad I look Well that’s just my face these days, I spit [Yes and no, but I should take myself home] So I wink and in a blink I take myself home Where the hell was I going? And really, why am I here? I didnt wish for any of this over candles [I blew it, literally] Then I step over a hole in the sidwealk that looks to be the size of me Then there are all these strawberries smeared across the street Then I don’t really know how to fit into my footsteps anymore **** knows im sick of running from behind] But they keep yanking me in the usual directions I’m far away, but close as I’ve ever been Even though all last year I havent seen what’s in front of me But I think the night always wants it this way And whatever is left inside of me is now beyond reach And it exists nowhere and Im sending it off to be some weird ugly terrible no good what the hell were you thinking sorta thing But Im back here just for a flash Syllables and sounds belonging to you and belonging to me [Id be rich if I could only buy the place on Commerce street] Now I’m just clomping around, my toes kicking through and smooshing ***** snow around, digging up and burying down all the sounds i used to listen for My little self-mythology, I used to dream of words like these [Can’t you hear them, from ear to ear?] Maybe we don’t get what we want Maybe we don’t get what we need Maybe we get what we get Maybe that’s the end of it Maybe this is who I am for a while Maybe that’s alright with you but its not alright with me Wanting what we don’t have is the most human thing! [I can’t be the only one who always feels like this] But it’s everything, everything Again, again So I keep taking myself home And I shake myself down in the shower, screaming and swaying to Geese Washing that scent all over me Keeping the last of it under my nails And I thought I was pretty good at knowing when things are going to end But my mirror tells me that I only see that which I do not know [But man, Ive got great hair] And now its the morning and the first thought I think is that I hope I get those 15 good minutes today, please, please, please [Yesterday didn’t feel real] And how old do you have to be just to feel a little like a kid again? Maybe odd years are better for it But I havent been this scared since 27 And I know who I wont hear from today But please, please Let me come out of this looking stranger on some other side Of nothing resembling something [I am airless now, water doesnt even want me] Let me howl and honk: “…and I will break my own heart from now on” Turn me into a thousand million little crumbs to sprinkle into your eyes [So thou mayest see the dark in the light] But it just smears like candle ash And Im just sitting on the couch, dark like the TV, dark as all things I must be learning all the lessons of someone who has been here already **** Im sick of myself] But maybe in whatever mirror-life im in, I’ll be lucky enough to start listening to me again [There are orangey-pink striped clouds in the sky] But for now, today, I have nothing to do, just like everyday Maybe I’ll get some sleep tonight, tomorrow But I just want something to do So how about I teach myself something I should know? Like how guilt is a god And how shame sings the song of memory Like how lovely I am And how lovely I ought to be
storysketches
Written by
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 5:55 PM UTC
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