I'm not the same person I was when you left; and honestly I don't know how I feel about that.
I'm not broken, lost, or confused.
But on the other hand, I'm not at peace, whole, or content either.
I'm not the same girl who would welcome anyone with open arms.
I see the world differently now.
I see the pain... I feel the pain.
We're in a battlefield.
The confusion and sorrow are like fresh wounds to my eyes.
I see them in everyone.
You used to tell me that I lit up the world with my smile.
That however, is a talent I no longer posses.
I'm not fearless anymore.
I am not the girl who continues to see the world with unstained glasses.
The ones I wear are covered with dried tears, residue from heartbreak,
loss and love.
The way I see the world is no longer through the eyes of a 15 year old girl who heard of love but experienced it.
I'm not the same person I used to be.
I'm cautious, calculated, careful.
I realize that even now the decisions I make will last me a lifetime.
It has become real to me: this world.
It has come alive to me.
Understand, that if I could go back and be the girl you knew - the girl who loved you - I wouldn't.
She was naive and uneducated in the world. I still have so much to learn, but I hope I never again become that girl.
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 13, 2016 at 12:15 AM UTC
I'm not the same person I was when you left; and honestly I don't know how I feel about that.
I'm not broken, lost, or confused.
But on the other hand, I'm not at peace, whole, or content either.
I'm not the same girl who would welcome anyone with open arms.
I see the world differently now.
I see the pain... I feel the pain.
We're in a battlefield.
The confusion and sorrow are like fresh wounds to my eyes.
I see them in everyone.
You used to tell me that I lit up the world with my smile.
That however, is a talent I no longer posses.
I'm not fearless anymore.
I am not the girl who continues to see the world with unstained glasses.
The ones I wear are covered with dried tears, residue from heartbreak,
loss and love.
The way I see the world is no longer through the eyes of a 15 year old girl who heard of love but experienced it.
I'm not the same person I used to be.
I'm cautious, calculated, careful.
I realize that even now the decisions I make will last me a lifetime.
It has become real to me: this world.
It has come alive to me.
Understand, that if I could go back and be the girl you knew - the girl who loved you - I wouldn't.
She was naive and uneducated in the world. I still have so much to learn, but I hope I never again become that girl.
Written 2.12.16
I'm sorry I changed, I'm sorry I am not the best version of me.
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