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Dear Diary: I'm an Addict

The world around me is revolving slowly

While the people surrounding move faster & faster

As I am caught in between the fibers of time

 

Why am I here?

Do I even belong?

 

My only therapy is the songs I hear in my head.

My only medication is the drugs that make me wish I were dead.

 

I'm just a shell of my former self.

I'm not what I used to be.

 

It seems there's no resolution,

only an empty cell waiting for me in this institution.

 

Dear diary, please help me now.

 

There's only so much abuse I can inflict upon myself.

 

The cuts on my wrist, the empty bottle of pills

The lacerations on my fist, shaking from the anger still.

 

I've got my fix, each line getting me higher.

The only answer getting more apparent, as my lows keep climbing to the ladder.

 

My sanity escaping.

Depression creeping

As the ghost of death takes over me.

 

Oh diary, it seems it's goodbye to you and me.

It seems no matter what I do, the world isn't going to accept me.

 

I'll never belong.

 

I'll always be different.

 

Goodbye and goodnight.

 

I'll see you on the other side.

 

----------------------------

 

Dear diary, I'm an addict.

 

Yesterday was proof of concept.

 

Tomorrow is a death wish.

 

If I don't do something now,

I may never get to see the light of day.

 

Dear diary, please help me now.

 

Because I can't do this alone anymore.

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Written by
joshua-phelps
33 / M / English
Published
Feb 6, 2017
Lines·Words
34·245
Notes

I had a stint with drugs in 2012.

I felt like killing myself.

Now I know life is worth so much more.

Tags
#suicide#poetry#addiction#death#drugs
Permission

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