An absent father's failure with an inhaler in hand
Insecurity seething from his skin
Manifesting it's self as bulbous red abrasions on his forehead
A heavy breathing child who's eyes were often aimed low
His expectations for life even lower
A little over weight but not enough to concern his pediatrician
He cut gym class a lot because of the showers
Now fourteen he had seen a few ******
He knew he didn't match up
It was better that no one knew he thought
He went on living like this
A pale shadow hovering in the halls
A faceless nobody in the background of someone else's group photo
A ghost who was only noticed by those who tortured him
Bullies like sharks can smell blood in the water
And he was chum
I still vividly see the feeding frenzy
I still remember the day we were told he took his own life
NO shrieks, NO cries, NOT even a whimper was heard
Almost a concerted sigh of boredom
That night there was a party
Not to celebrate his death
But an apathetic gesture of his nonexistence
I attended as was socially expected of me
Even wore a smile
But my mind wrestled with his suicide
I thought of how much I hated him
I hated the smell of his weakness
I hated the 'poor me' attitude
I hated him for taking his own life
Leaving me to feel guilty
That I had done nothing to help him
As if I was responsible in some way
...
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC
An absent father's failure with an inhaler in hand
Insecurity seething from his skin
Manifesting it's self as bulbous red abrasions on his forehead
A heavy breathing child who's eyes were often aimed low
His expectations for life even lower
A little over weight but not enough to concern his pediatrician
He cut gym class a lot because of the showers
Now fourteen he had seen a few ******
He knew he didn't match up
It was better that no one knew he thought
He went on living like this
A pale shadow hovering in the halls
A faceless nobody in the background of someone else's group photo
A ghost who was only noticed by those who tortured him
Bullies like sharks can smell blood in the water
And he was chum
I still vividly see the feeding frenzy
I still remember the day we were told he took his own life
NO shrieks, NO cries, NOT even a whimper was heard
Almost a concerted sigh of boredom
That night there was a party
Not to celebrate his death
But an apathetic gesture of his nonexistence
I attended as was socially expected of me
Even wore a smile
But my mind wrestled with his suicide
I thought of how much I hated him
I hated the smell of his weakness
I hated the 'poor me' attitude
I hated him for taking his own life
Leaving me to feel guilty
That I had done nothing to help him
As if I was responsible in some way
...
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