Deep and full of wisdom
I can't help but stare into them
Rich, dark, and chocolaty brown
When I see them I cannot frown
Their beauty astounds me
When you sweep me off my feet
I look into them and my heart no longer cries
I absolutely love your beautiful eyes

dustyn-smith

Your Beautiful Eyes

Jun 6, 2026

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EroshuHomaj

Sometimes in a poem to Rhyme takes away the profound magnificence of a point .
"Rich, dark, and chocolaty brown
When I see them I cannot frown "
I think in this part you rhymed to giving up meaning. It feels cheapened to say you cannot frown.
You have all these fanciful lines and then these two throw it off.
I feel and think you should think about how to change them if you see my point.

jvl-narasimha-rao

When we concentrate on rhyme, we need to sacrifice a bit of meaning but Lee has not sacrificed the meaning .Instead of I can't but smile like expressed , the word frown is used which rhymes with brown.That apart, the poem is beautiful.
yoursJVL 