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*God, who can tell me the difference? as if I even care about the difference, I know because I feel The difference, I can feel it, life is so real Because what difference, does it all matter…?  What? What can Be the reason for a difference, when there can’t be any difference In me. It is there, I mean, I can see it, smell it, The Doctors told me it is there, and now I cannot see the difference In whether or not, I **** well take it, smoke it, drink it, Hell at the difference!  I will not be any different except happy, except Sliding down the path of feeling good, even though for a short time, Even though for anytime, what difference is there anyway, does it, will it all make?*    (an easy feeling of sliding, so downward, so fast, falls on me, falls    like the head of a pin, looks up and sees me, as it feels so **** good    with just a glimpse of lakeshore looking backward, over my shoulder    as I sit here. no television. the sound blaring. and it is off. and the window    is down, and I am riding. in the car that is not there. better off.  the distance    looks crowded, and feels so pretty and nice. and life is mine and there are things    that make me look. this way.  then that. and make it all blow the dust off    and leave. me here. crying and feeling your arms. while your gone. and feeling    her arms wrapped around me, and knowing that she will likely *****    and moan and gripe, but who cares because now it is gone,.and an extra two    on top of two. and that makes four, god it makes four. makes four. makes four…)      **   Who can tell what sleep I have had, nothing no more than a minutes sleep          Is why my hair looks the way it does, and make-up is not made up and          The sleepy feeling grabbed me strong and put these jeans upon my body          And they are mine, they fit, I swear, and the sweater fits too, it is not his it is mine          Besides, I feel like hell and death have run together and have clouded me,         And taken away my judgment, and left me here alone, can you see me?       I know it, I know it, it makes sense as dogs make sense to lying in the grass     And birds make sense playing in the limbs, and as I make sense, making sense    Of the feelings that are lost to me now, and please, please, please, I do not    Need the sitter, or someone watching me, or watching me die, please   I just need something, a little thing, a little more, just a little more.**
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Dec 1, 2011
Dec 1, 2011 at 11:12 PM UTC
Finding God
*God, who can tell me the difference? as if I even care about the difference, I know because I feel The difference, I can feel it, life is so real Because what difference, does it all matter…?  What? What can Be the reason for a difference, when there can’t be any difference In me. It is there, I mean, I can see it, smell it, The Doctors told me it is there, and now I cannot see the difference In whether or not, I **** well take it, smoke it, drink it, Hell at the difference!  I will not be any different except happy, except Sliding down the path of feeling good, even though for a short time, Even though for anytime, what difference is there anyway, does it, will it all make?*    (an easy feeling of sliding, so downward, so fast, falls on me, falls    like the head of a pin, looks up and sees me, as it feels so **** good    with just a glimpse of lakeshore looking backward, over my shoulder    as I sit here. no television. the sound blaring. and it is off. and the window    is down, and I am riding. in the car that is not there. better off.  the distance    looks crowded, and feels so pretty and nice. and life is mine and there are things    that make me look. this way.  then that. and make it all blow the dust off    and leave. me here. crying and feeling your arms. while your gone. and feeling    her arms wrapped around me, and knowing that she will likely *****    and moan and gripe, but who cares because now it is gone,.and an extra two    on top of two. and that makes four, god it makes four. makes four. makes four…)      **   Who can tell what sleep I have had, nothing no more than a minutes sleep          Is why my hair looks the way it does, and make-up is not made up and          The sleepy feeling grabbed me strong and put these jeans upon my body          And they are mine, they fit, I swear, and the sweater fits too, it is not his it is mine          Besides, I feel like hell and death have run together and have clouded me,         And taken away my judgment, and left me here alone, can you see me?       I know it, I know it, it makes sense as dogs make sense to lying in the grass     And birds make sense playing in the limbs, and as I make sense, making sense    Of the feelings that are lost to me now, and please, please, please, I do not    Need the sitter, or someone watching me, or watching me die, please   I just need something, a little thing, a little more, just a little more.**
ralph-e-peck
Written by
60/M/American
Dec 1, 2011
Dec 1, 2011 at 11:12 PM UTC
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