not to be
too dramatic but
this toll I pay for
my X chromosome
is just getting to be
too much
bloodletting lasting weeks
soaking through
various wadded up bunches of papers
tearing through
my cramping abdomen
hoping through
un-shed tears (and lining) that the
worst is past
my f-word is common in those
over thirty
where I solidly sit now
it is pressing on my womb
requesting even more than I can give
iron deficient
clotting
smells like rotting
trudging like a zombie
through the day
instead of brains I’m just
trying to cling on
to life.
The doctor tells me
just hang on
the birth control should start working soon
in the meantime
fake smiles and showing up
for events pretending I’m not
bleeding enough to fill a blood bank
omitting ER visits from the casual “how are you”s tossed my way.
hoping hoping hoping
maybe the next one
will be better.
With a ferritin score
in the single digits
go ahead and take
a little more
as if
being a woman
needs to be harder
Jan 6
Jan 6, 2026 at 2:05 PM UTC
not to be
too dramatic but
this toll I pay for
my X chromosome
is just getting to be
too much
bloodletting lasting weeks
soaking through
various wadded up bunches of papers
tearing through
my cramping abdomen
hoping through
un-shed tears (and lining) that the
worst is past
my f-word is common in those
over thirty
where I solidly sit now
it is pressing on my womb
requesting even more than I can give
iron deficient
clotting
smells like rotting
trudging like a zombie
through the day
instead of brains I’m just
trying to cling on
to life.
The doctor tells me
just hang on
the birth control should start working soon
in the meantime
fake smiles and showing up
for events pretending I’m not
bleeding enough to fill a blood bank
omitting ER visits from the casual “how are you”s tossed my way.
hoping hoping hoping
maybe the next one
will be better.
With a ferritin score
in the single digits
go ahead and take
a little more
as if
being a woman
needs to be harder
