just friends (some friend)

my stomach is in knots

and i feel so sick thinking about you

holding anyone that isn’t me

and i don’t understand why you thought it’d be a good idea

to tell me that you’re falling asleep at night

with another girl in your bed,

even if you’re not kissing her goodnight,

i tried to drown out my sobs all day with

modern vampires of the city on vinyl,

but it still feels like someone

sunk fangs in my lungs

it’s only been a week, the cuts from your nails

from holding my heart so tight

are still fresh

and i never asked you to stop,

i never told you i wanted to try

to be more than friends again,

i never tried to paint your hands red,

but all you could seem to do is defend

yourself and repeat that you’ve done nothing wrong

“you said we’re just friends

you said we’re just friends

you said we’re just friends”

and we are just friends

i just wanted you to understand and acknowledge

that it still hurts

and you can say you’re sorry, you said sorry,

but i’m sure she’s tucked in beneath your sheets right now

and you’re still repeating in your head

i’ve done nothing wrong

we’re just friends

and i’m glad you’re comfortable,

i’m glad you know you’ve done nothing wrong,

i’m glad you have someone to hold at night,

i’m glad thoughts of me don’t rip your heart out,

i’m glad you’re okay with being just friends

i’m glad you’re fine,

but, i’m sorry,

i’m not.

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