you ask me
“do you like making music?”
kiss me on the cheek
I look at
my hands resting on your keyboard, almost still
turn around and
reply with a big smile
“yeah, yeah I do”
I would like to say in an unimpressed tone
that I have heard this all before
that this is not new
but it is.
with you I am different,
happy.
for a little while,
I forget what I am
what i feel
forget about flinging my body down the stairwell
forget about the feeling of my fingertips pulling at my skin
hoping I can tear it apart
I forget for a little while
just long enough to make me believe the world is fine
that everything will be okay
that I am okay
that I am not just a celexa girl
who writes sad poetry
that death would not be blissful to me
because I have you
and only you
sometimes it feels like you are the only one who cares when everything is closing in
you tell me I am always nice and soft
when I have felt like I was the opposite of that
for so so long
being with you is almost unbelievable
like you know all the right things to say to make my heart feel as if it has made the right decision by still continuing to beat
and I know that all of this cliché.
everything I write about you is a cliché mess
a mix of happiness and beautiful things I am too afraid to say to your face
the things I only write in poems
tell you when I think you are asleep
while I lay down
almost still
calm,
breathe softly
read you this poem
and then
say goodnight and goodbye.
thank you,
for letting me
let you in.
even if you
were not awake
to know
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 7:03 PM UTC
you ask me
“do you like making music?”
kiss me on the cheek
I look at
my hands resting on your keyboard, almost still
turn around and
reply with a big smile
“yeah, yeah I do”
I would like to say in an unimpressed tone
that I have heard this all before
that this is not new
but it is.
with you I am different,
happy.
for a little while,
I forget what I am
what i feel
forget about flinging my body down the stairwell
forget about the feeling of my fingertips pulling at my skin
hoping I can tear it apart
I forget for a little while
just long enough to make me believe the world is fine
that everything will be okay
that I am okay
that I am not just a celexa girl
who writes sad poetry
that death would not be blissful to me
because I have you
and only you
sometimes it feels like you are the only one who cares when everything is closing in
you tell me I am always nice and soft
when I have felt like I was the opposite of that
for so so long
being with you is almost unbelievable
like you know all the right things to say to make my heart feel as if it has made the right decision by still continuing to beat
and I know that all of this cliché.
everything I write about you is a cliché mess
a mix of happiness and beautiful things I am too afraid to say to your face
the things I only write in poems
tell you when I think you are asleep
while I lay down
almost still
calm,
breathe softly
read you this poem
and then
say goodnight and goodbye.
thank you,
for letting me
let you in.
even if you
were not awake
to know