the tiredness in my bones
at times is almost overwhelming
it feels existential
lodged deeply somewhere at my core
that center of my life
wherever it is
seems to gain distance
step by step
from the world’s busy-ness
makes me consider things
like from above
and at the same time
narrows down my vision
to my basic needs
what do I care about
the hungry dead in Africa
the Asian victims of typhoons and floods and mudslides
or who becomes chancellor or president etc.
I focus on myself
mulling the question
whether I have a mission in my life
whether there is a destiny
that needs to be fulfilled
or fate to be resigned to
or if it’s better to catch each day
as if it were my last
experience life to the brim
as long as possible
and die in the midst of it
at times
I wonder & ponder
yet shy back
from any definite conclusion
hesitant to fall into a groove
that lead me
to a too predictable
end
* * *
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 8:46 PM UTC
the tiredness in my bones
at times is almost overwhelming
it feels existential
lodged deeply somewhere at my core
that center of my life
wherever it is
seems to gain distance
step by step
from the world’s busy-ness
makes me consider things
like from above
and at the same time
narrows down my vision
to my basic needs
what do I care about
the hungry dead in Africa
the Asian victims of typhoons and floods and mudslides
or who becomes chancellor or president etc.
I focus on myself
mulling the question
whether I have a mission in my life
whether there is a destiny
that needs to be fulfilled
or fate to be resigned to
or if it’s better to catch each day
as if it were my last
experience life to the brim
as long as possible
and die in the midst of it
at times
I wonder & ponder
yet shy back
from any definite conclusion
hesitant to fall into a groove
that lead me
to a too predictable
end
* * *
