i want to talk about it.
i want to be able to talk about it,
i want to stop my insides from turning every time i think about it.
i try to wash it off my hands, off my tongue, off my mind.
but it's there,
it's always there.
and it haunts my dreams.
i can taste the ashes of the fires which used to burn inside me.
i can feel them burning my insides.
only, they don't burn with confidence, excitement,
grace.
they burn with hatred and anger, all directed at myself.
it is the only thing i can feel lately.
it's kind of comforting, in a very disturbing way.
it's like killing myself without even trying.
like the universe wants this to be over,
even more so
than i do.
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 11, 2015 at 5:31 AM UTC
i want to talk about it.
i want to be able to talk about it,
i want to stop my insides from turning every time i think about it.
i try to wash it off my hands, off my tongue, off my mind.
but it's there,
it's always there.
and it haunts my dreams.
i can taste the ashes of the fires which used to burn inside me.
i can feel them burning my insides.
only, they don't burn with confidence, excitement,
grace.
they burn with hatred and anger, all directed at myself.
it is the only thing i can feel lately.
it's kind of comforting, in a very disturbing way.
it's like killing myself without even trying.
like the universe wants this to be over,
even more so
than i do.
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