“You’re just naturally smart.”
God, if I had a dollar
for every time someone said that
like it was a compliment
and not an erasure.
Like I didn’t stay up until 2 a.m.
rewriting the same sentence
until it stopped sounding stupid.
Like I don’t study so hard
my head aches
and my hands shake
and still—
I ask if it’s enough.
You see the A.
You don’t see the anxiety attack
that came with it.
You think I’m blessed.
I think I’m breaking.
But I smile.
I nod.
I wear the ******* mask
handed to me years ago.
You know the one—
polished, polite,
never tired, never slipping.
God forbid I admit it’s hard.
God forbid I’m human.
Because when people think you’re gifted,
they stop giving grace.
No praise.
No comfort.
Just more pressure.
Higher bars.
Climbing higher and higher until you drop
Silence when you succeed—
disappointment when you don’t.
And what makes me furious?
It’s not even the work.
It’s the way no one sees it.
No one wants to see it.
Because if I struggle,
it ruins the story they’ve built about me—
and that’s not allowed.
So I keep my mouth shut.
I play the part.
I ace the test.
I burn out quietly.
And they call it effortless.
But one day,
I will set this mask on fire.
Watch it melt into the truth
you refused to see.
I am not effortless.
I am not lucky.
I am not your idea
of perfection.
I am the hours you ignore.
The fight you never saw.
The storm behind the stillness.
And I’m done shrinking
just to keep you comfortable.
If you won’t see my work,
then you don’t deserve my wins.
From now on,
I’ll take up space—
loud, flawed, brilliant.
Human.
And I will not apologize
for the fire
that made me me.
Sep 8, 2025
Sep 8, 2025 at 9:58 PM UTC
“You’re just naturally smart.”
God, if I had a dollar
for every time someone said that
like it was a compliment
and not an erasure.
Like I didn’t stay up until 2 a.m.
rewriting the same sentence
until it stopped sounding stupid.
Like I don’t study so hard
my head aches
and my hands shake
and still—
I ask if it’s enough.
You see the A.
You don’t see the anxiety attack
that came with it.
You think I’m blessed.
I think I’m breaking.
But I smile.
I nod.
I wear the ******* mask
handed to me years ago.
You know the one—
polished, polite,
never tired, never slipping.
God forbid I admit it’s hard.
God forbid I’m human.
Because when people think you’re gifted,
they stop giving grace.
No praise.
No comfort.
Just more pressure.
Higher bars.
Climbing higher and higher until you drop
Silence when you succeed—
disappointment when you don’t.
And what makes me furious?
It’s not even the work.
It’s the way no one sees it.
No one wants to see it.
Because if I struggle,
it ruins the story they’ve built about me—
and that’s not allowed.
So I keep my mouth shut.
I play the part.
I ace the test.
I burn out quietly.
And they call it effortless.
But one day,
I will set this mask on fire.
Watch it melt into the truth
you refused to see.
I am not effortless.
I am not lucky.
I am not your idea
of perfection.
I am the hours you ignore.
The fight you never saw.
The storm behind the stillness.
And I’m done shrinking
just to keep you comfortable.
If you won’t see my work,
then you don’t deserve my wins.
From now on,
I’ll take up space—
loud, flawed, brilliant.
Human.
And I will not apologize
for the fire
that made me me.
Hi! This is a poem I wrote about trying to be seen. Enjoy!