I am a kaleidoscope—shapelessly shifting, and
dominated by colors that I cannot change
without some sort of grandiose outside force
granting me a helping hand. I might as well be water.
But my reflection insists on creating dissonance. She
and I, although we look the same, do not coincide
as neatly as
yin and yang
Adam and Eve
my hand in his. Perhaps because
thoughts and feelings generally
do not mix like paint.
Human beings are full of hypocrisies; I am merely
one of seven billion. My doppelganger knows that
I will never be harmonious, and I am but an echo
of Sisyphus, yet still I wonder if she also knows how
sanctimonious I can be at even the best of times; how
wolfish my attitude can turn; how
downright wicked I can become.
(Perhaps she is overlooking it.)
Oftentimes, I find myself wondering if those ugly,
impulse actions I grudgingly stomach are really my
own choices, or if they are hers. I am the analytical
one of us, and she, the fervent, the hot-blooded prima donna;
I think of how easily I lay down my neck to her will, how often I
throw my frontal lobe at her, belly up,
as if to say, “this is my
white flag.”
I allow my duplicate’s hands to twist and turn my paths.
She makes me self-conscious of the
coffee splotch birthmark on my shin,
my flummoxed feet that flounder about;
the mausoleum I keep buried
six-feet-under in my backyard. Her sentiment
bleeds into me and permanently dyes my bones red
like the red meat I am; she tries to coalesce us.
Perhaps it’s idiosyncratic of me to
rip myself in two, but being made of water
makes it hard for oil to blend into place; it makes it
hard for logic to have any room for a
seemingly clairvoyant heart, though
sometimes I wonder if my sophist thoughts could
possibly have any consideration for my twin’s
sibylline yet affectionate disposition. I
wonder what the
secret is to being whole, what the
secret is to ending civil wars, and what the
secret is to placidity—
I wonder why all my answers are kept under lock and key.
The internal bloodshed within myself might not
be as abnormal as I think it to be, but if it’s not me who
I see when I look into the mirror,
what is it that others see?
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 11:56 PM UTC
I am a kaleidoscope—shapelessly shifting, and
dominated by colors that I cannot change
without some sort of grandiose outside force
granting me a helping hand. I might as well be water.
But my reflection insists on creating dissonance. She
and I, although we look the same, do not coincide
as neatly as
yin and yang
Adam and Eve
my hand in his. Perhaps because
thoughts and feelings generally
do not mix like paint.
Human beings are full of hypocrisies; I am merely
one of seven billion. My doppelganger knows that
I will never be harmonious, and I am but an echo
of Sisyphus, yet still I wonder if she also knows how
sanctimonious I can be at even the best of times; how
wolfish my attitude can turn; how
downright wicked I can become.
(Perhaps she is overlooking it.)
Oftentimes, I find myself wondering if those ugly,
impulse actions I grudgingly stomach are really my
own choices, or if they are hers. I am the analytical
one of us, and she, the fervent, the hot-blooded prima donna;
I think of how easily I lay down my neck to her will, how often I
throw my frontal lobe at her, belly up,
as if to say, “this is my
white flag.”
I allow my duplicate’s hands to twist and turn my paths.
She makes me self-conscious of the
coffee splotch birthmark on my shin,
my flummoxed feet that flounder about;
the mausoleum I keep buried
six-feet-under in my backyard. Her sentiment
bleeds into me and permanently dyes my bones red
like the red meat I am; she tries to coalesce us.
Perhaps it’s idiosyncratic of me to
rip myself in two, but being made of water
makes it hard for oil to blend into place; it makes it
hard for logic to have any room for a
seemingly clairvoyant heart, though
sometimes I wonder if my sophist thoughts could
possibly have any consideration for my twin’s
sibylline yet affectionate disposition. I
wonder what the
secret is to being whole, what the
secret is to ending civil wars, and what the
secret is to placidity—
I wonder why all my answers are kept under lock and key.
The internal bloodshed within myself might not
be as abnormal as I think it to be, but if it’s not me who
I see when I look into the mirror,
what is it that others see?
a sort of self-reflection.
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