Dearest Isaac,
How are you?
It's been seven years since I last saw you.
Even now I still feel blue,
Thinking 'bout all that you've been through.
I wonder if
You are now an angel,
An eternal break
From the world that is cruel.
I wonder if
I'm hallucinating,
'Cause I sometimes see
Your face in the stars.
Oh, they don't know
The reason I cry,
I still can't forget,
No matter how hard I try.
Oh, they won't know
The pain I feel,
From losing a brother,
It's way too real.
The moment you left us,
My world started spinning.
It was the very first time
I saw everyone crying.
Throwback to the day when you first fell silent
And couldn't walk a step anymore.
Your face turned so unusually pale,
Though your body was burning,
You could no longer wail.
Replaced with all those days in bed,
Your school days came to an abrupt end,
I could only tell from your empty eyes,
You wished to return and be with your friends.
From the innocent little child I was,
Till now I still don't know the reason,
Why you could no longer
Move or speak
Or play our favorite games together.
I don't ask why,
I know the answers:
Buckets of tears
And sad-looking faces.
Maybe a war had broken out in your body,
Making you all weak and bony.
Oh, the pain that gave you torture,
It turned your world dark,
It's such a terror.
Since the year that you were gone,
My first birthday wish is to see you again.
I know that ashes can't come to life,
But I really want you back.
I struggle so hard to keep our family lively,
For I don't wish to repeat of our grief.
Nobody knows at all,
How hard it is to stay strong.
I sometimes break down,
My tears buried in my pillow.
People wonder why I'm too obsessed with perfection.
But how can I not be,
When this is my duty?
I cannot let them lose another hope,
Though my spark is dimmer than yours.
I cannot let them go through the same pain,
I cannot bear to see it happen.
Here I finally reveal,
The reason why I have to live on,
No matter how dark things might seem.
What word is there,
For a parent who lost their child,
Or a sister who lost her brother?
I really can't find any grief worse than this.
Whenever I feel like giving up,
On things that make life so knotty,
I am reminded of my brother
Who wanted to live so badly,
To live another day.
But then at age nine,
The Lord took him home.
Now that I can live,
Why should I not?
I should treasure each day,
Till the moment I get taken away.
Up there in heaven,
I'm sure you are happy,
Wearing the robe of true purity.
Rest assured,
We're doing fine.
Though you're not here with us,
You live within our hearts.
You've fought a good fight,
You've finished the race.
I look forward to the day
I can meet you again.
*With lots of love,
Your sister*