Yesterday, I sat in front of the TV and watched my life play out before me
Like a badly directed sit com with scripted laugh track and jilted dialogue.
Opening theme song by: that obscure band you pretend to like so they’ll like you
Starring: that older sister’s friend you thought about under the covers at night.
Starring: that family who said that boys liking boys and girls liking girls was destroying our nation.
Starring: that boy who held your mouth closed and forced you to wash his *** off your tongue
Before he called you baby and allowed you to kiss him.
Starring: that loving God who, you’re told, will no longer love you if you are true to yourself.
Starring: that girl who you can’t have.
Starring: that girl you shouldn’t want.
Starring: that girl you can’t live without.
Starring: that society who taught you to hate your body.
Starring: that mirror that reinforces what they say.
Starring: those thoughts that tell you to give up because you’ll never be as smart as your sister.
Starring: you’ll never be as pretty as her.
Starring: a number on a scale that determines your self worth.
Starring: wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely
Starring: loneliness
Starring: self-loathing
Starring: ****** thoughts you keep hidden because Christian girls like you should like Christian boys
Like him who fingered you in his truck not an hour after praying in Jesus’s name.
Starring: that flutter in your stomach every time you hear her voice.
Starring: her being the reason you’re stay alive.
Starring: life, your life, lived by you and no one else
Starring: You, with a bible in one hand and a cigarette in the other,
Because surely one of those things will smoke the demons out, you think.
You hope.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC
Yesterday, I sat in front of the TV and watched my life play out before me
Like a badly directed sit com with scripted laugh track and jilted dialogue.
Opening theme song by: that obscure band you pretend to like so they’ll like you
Starring: that older sister’s friend you thought about under the covers at night.
Starring: that family who said that boys liking boys and girls liking girls was destroying our nation.
Starring: that boy who held your mouth closed and forced you to wash his *** off your tongue
Before he called you baby and allowed you to kiss him.
Starring: that loving God who, you’re told, will no longer love you if you are true to yourself.
Starring: that girl who you can’t have.
Starring: that girl you shouldn’t want.
Starring: that girl you can’t live without.
Starring: that society who taught you to hate your body.
Starring: that mirror that reinforces what they say.
Starring: those thoughts that tell you to give up because you’ll never be as smart as your sister.
Starring: you’ll never be as pretty as her.
Starring: a number on a scale that determines your self worth.
Starring: wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely
Starring: loneliness
Starring: self-loathing
Starring: ****** thoughts you keep hidden because Christian girls like you should like Christian boys
Like him who fingered you in his truck not an hour after praying in Jesus’s name.
Starring: that flutter in your stomach every time you hear her voice.
Starring: her being the reason you’re stay alive.
Starring: life, your life, lived by you and no one else
Starring: You, with a bible in one hand and a cigarette in the other,
Because surely one of those things will smoke the demons out, you think.
You hope.
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