sometimes i think
that if, perhaps,
i could shrink myself down into something a bit more beautiful,
then maybe you would love me.
in the ugly, unafraid, truth-telling part of my mind,
the part i seldom dare to visit,
i know this is not true,
know that you could never love me,
not now.
i can make myself,
as much as i like,
into wood to be whittled,
but i cannot make you crave those carvings.
you can lead a horse to water,
or whatever it is that they say.
but i fear i will always be a well run dry in your eyes
(or perhaps one that never had water to begin with).
so i combat this fear in the only way i know how:
by turning away from it,
pretending it does not exist.
by shrinking.
and sometimes,
sometimes,
when you don't seem as far away,
i think that if, perhaps,
i could shrink myself down into something a bit more beautiful,
then maybe you would love me.
(a.m.)
Jun 11, 2016
Jun 11, 2016 at 12:47 AM UTC
sometimes i think
that if, perhaps,
i could shrink myself down into something a bit more beautiful,
then maybe you would love me.
in the ugly, unafraid, truth-telling part of my mind,
the part i seldom dare to visit,
i know this is not true,
know that you could never love me,
not now.
i can make myself,
as much as i like,
into wood to be whittled,
but i cannot make you crave those carvings.
you can lead a horse to water,
or whatever it is that they say.
but i fear i will always be a well run dry in your eyes
(or perhaps one that never had water to begin with).
so i combat this fear in the only way i know how:
by turning away from it,
pretending it does not exist.
by shrinking.
and sometimes,
sometimes,
when you don't seem as far away,
i think that if, perhaps,
i could shrink myself down into something a bit more beautiful,
then maybe you would love me.
(a.m.)
written june 11th, 2016. hope you enjoy. xoxo.
