Desperately seeking your approval
Even though you laugh in my face
You're so opinionated and I act like I don't care
But deep down, I am taking into heart everything you say
I cause fights just to talk to you more
Steam is coming out of my ears
Although, I love to see you smile
I love it when you make fun of me
Because for a split-second, I almost feel accepted
I tell you your flaws, but I made them all up
One second you're an angel, a devil the next
But everyday I want you more
Want to make you think
Want to make you feel
Can't tell you all of this, I can barely tell myself
I could never love you, you're too mean
I could never hate you, you're so nice
This dart is coming closer and closer to your picture
But I think I'll jump in the way
I'd never want to hurt you
Yet I want to cause so much pain
Hate me if you want, at least you're thinking of me
Punch you in reality, kiss you in my dreams
Pick a fight, make a scene, hug you as you sleep
Laugh when you cry, cry as you laugh
You try to push me away but I come running back
I hate you so much, I want you to die
Love you more than that, I'd be lost without you
Such a good friend, you are my foe
You are the worst thing I have ever seen
Yet so beautiful
I shoot myself as I pat myself on the back
I scream at you when I want to sing you a soft lullaby
Slowly play with your hair, lips touching lips
Remembering how many times you've made me punch holes in my walls
Whether to fill them up with love or hate
I cannot decide
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 10:16 AM UTC
Desperately seeking your approval
Even though you laugh in my face
You're so opinionated and I act like I don't care
But deep down, I am taking into heart everything you say
I cause fights just to talk to you more
Steam is coming out of my ears
Although, I love to see you smile
I love it when you make fun of me
Because for a split-second, I almost feel accepted
I tell you your flaws, but I made them all up
One second you're an angel, a devil the next
But everyday I want you more
Want to make you think
Want to make you feel
Can't tell you all of this, I can barely tell myself
I could never love you, you're too mean
I could never hate you, you're so nice
This dart is coming closer and closer to your picture
But I think I'll jump in the way
I'd never want to hurt you
Yet I want to cause so much pain
Hate me if you want, at least you're thinking of me
Punch you in reality, kiss you in my dreams
Pick a fight, make a scene, hug you as you sleep
Laugh when you cry, cry as you laugh
You try to push me away but I come running back
I hate you so much, I want you to die
Love you more than that, I'd be lost without you
Such a good friend, you are my foe
You are the worst thing I have ever seen
Yet so beautiful
I shoot myself as I pat myself on the back
I scream at you when I want to sing you a soft lullaby
Slowly play with your hair, lips touching lips
Remembering how many times you've made me punch holes in my walls
Whether to fill them up with love or hate
I cannot decide
So, I wrote this as an angsty, emo-loving teenager. I can proudly say that I am a well-adjusted adult now. I think that if you can relate this poem to a current relationship that you have, then you should probably leave it. Analyzing it from my own perspective, now, ten years later, this "love" I speak of as a 14 year old is not love. It is obsession, possession, and not at all what love is about.
A loving relationship should involve playfulness, understanding, compassion, and there should be a certain lightheartedness to it. It should be FUN. The relationship described in this poem sounds more like an addict/provider relationship, and that is what people need to steer away from.
Just my thoughts on it. I still think there are some good parts in this, regardless.
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