The only time I see God
is when I’m about to end my life.
I could count the number of times I went to church on one hand.
One of those times,
the pastor was preaching,
passages and proverbs wrapping around my head.
But, only phrase stuck.
I don’t even think it was from the Bible,
just something he had come up with on the spot.
“God was lonely, so he created men.”
I had been lonely too.
That’s the first and last connection I had with him.
On my knees, praying and puking,
I begged God.
I begged God to take me from pain, from the loneliness.
Euphoria or emptiness,
pleasure or pills, life or death, it didn’t matter to me.
I never heard back from him.
Once that day passed,
I wondered if the pastor was mistaken.
If men made God
because we were lonely.
Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 11:09 AM UTC
The only time I see God
is when I’m about to end my life.
I could count the number of times I went to church on one hand.
One of those times,
the pastor was preaching,
passages and proverbs wrapping around my head.
But, only phrase stuck.
I don’t even think it was from the Bible,
just something he had come up with on the spot.
“God was lonely, so he created men.”
I had been lonely too.
That’s the first and last connection I had with him.
On my knees, praying and puking,
I begged God.
I begged God to take me from pain, from the loneliness.
Euphoria or emptiness,
pleasure or pills, life or death, it didn’t matter to me.
I never heard back from him.
Once that day passed,
I wondered if the pastor was mistaken.
If men made God
because we were lonely.