The pills smooth the static,
quiet the rattling wires in my chest.
For a while,
I remember what it feels like to breathe without splinters.
But the bell rings,
the halls swarm,
and suddenly the air is teeth again.
every glance is a spotlight,
every sound, a hammer.
My calm dissolves
under fluorescent ceilings an hour at a time—
until the medicine feels
like water poured
into. a. burning. house.
...
I swallow each dose
like a prayer,
but school drowns it out,
and I’m left wondering
if healing is meant to vanish
the moment I walk through those doors.
I drag myself through the weeks and the noise,
holding a bottle that promises
more than it delivers.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe nothing’s enough to quiet a storm
that keeps finding new ways to break.
and so i keep swallowing,
keep hoping,
keep sitting in classrooms
where my heartbeat is louder
than the teacher’s voice—
pretending the medicine is working,
pretending i am too.
Sep 11, 2025
Sep 11, 2025 at 7:26 PM UTC
The pills smooth the static,
quiet the rattling wires in my chest.
For a while,
I remember what it feels like to breathe without splinters.
But the bell rings,
the halls swarm,
and suddenly the air is teeth again.
every glance is a spotlight,
every sound, a hammer.
My calm dissolves
under fluorescent ceilings an hour at a time—
until the medicine feels
like water poured
into. a. burning. house.
...
I swallow each dose
like a prayer,
but school drowns it out,
and I’m left wondering
if healing is meant to vanish
the moment I walk through those doors.
I drag myself through the weeks and the noise,
holding a bottle that promises
more than it delivers.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe nothing’s enough to quiet a storm
that keeps finding new ways to break.
and so i keep swallowing,
keep hoping,
keep sitting in classrooms
where my heartbeat is louder
than the teacher’s voice—
pretending the medicine is working,
pretending i am too.
ive been taking medication for my anxiety since summer and the were working fine over summer but since ive started school, i dont feel like they help anymore so i wrote my feelings out. also mb its been so long since ive posted a poem!! ive been so busy. mwah mwah stay safe^^
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