im starting to realize
i don’t eat
im afraid to chew
scared to gain more than an ounce
i thought this fear died
when the hate did
but when you’re gone
i don’t want to fight these pangs
giving in to their tiresome lull
maybe one day i can be as small as i feel
but that’s not the truth
i just want to feel like a man
longed for and strong
instilling fear in those who challenge me
until then i might eat
even more so in hopes that maybe
i can tear open my insides
to become beautiful on the outside
Nov 10, 2020
Nov 10, 2020 at 3:06 PM UTC
im starting to realize
i don’t eat
im afraid to chew
scared to gain more than an ounce
i thought this fear died
when the hate did
but when you’re gone
i don’t want to fight these pangs
giving in to their tiresome lull
maybe one day i can be as small as i feel
but that’s not the truth
i just want to feel like a man
longed for and strong
instilling fear in those who challenge me
until then i might eat
even more so in hopes that maybe
i can tear open my insides
to become beautiful on the outside
TRIGGER WARNING PLS DONT DONT DONT DONT DONT THINK THAT HAVING AN ED IS GLAMOROUS I AM IN RECOVERY FOR OVER A YEAR AND DO NOT SUPPORT OR ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO HAVE OR PRACTICE HAVING DISORDERED EATING