I don’t know how to say it.
You know I only have one word for this.
Ineffable.
There’s a reason You've inspired so Many instrumentals.
Prelinguistic feelings in the strings.
Sensory one. Out in the night.
Just to catch a bit of the cold and
hold
it
in wonder.
It’s been too long since I’ve loved someone this fast and fully and requited.
I feel the edge of a selfish obsessive nightmare,
hard and calloused scar tissue.
A long, old wound that I tried to peel. To open. To uncover.
To admit. To accept.
Examining every gut and thinking “wow, I’m really full”
It’s still tender to touch
I’m reminded of it when you hold me. When we make love.
I can feel obsessed. Fully dominated, To behold you.
To kiss someone so incredible.
It boggles my mind that life is allowed to feel this good.
That’s why I worry in the space between.
I am afraid of being blind. Sense-deafened to the color of red, or the shape of flags, or the temperature of a storm, or the habit of huddling together to survive it...even if it never comes.
Codependency. Enabling irresponsiveness. On the rocks.
How is this little life of mine?
Seeking deep interdependent connections with clowns.
An arms-length attachment with a masseuse of the wound.
Where does pain come from?
Journey toward security:
We play so easy. I feel like kids with you. I feel like its after school
and we don’t want the sun to go down
because if the sun goes down
we have to go inside
so we don't want the sun to go down
so we don’t have to come inside.
Come inside. And stay awhile.
I am warm and full of love.
My bones are made of cosmic dust.
My eyes are explosions and I am a constellation.
Or stay out.
Gaze at the stars.
Catch the cold.
and tell me how it feels.