Sometimes, I swear I can feel my chest concaving at the thought of you.
I find interest in the fact that sometimes I want to be near you, but sometimes, I wish you were an ocean away.
Sometimes I look at my mother, and pray I'm not like her, but other times, I wish I could be more like her because that would make my life so much easier.
Sometimes, I cry alone at night.
I sit unaccompanied and begin to gorge myself on memories and guilt that I am certain will forever haunt me.
And during the day.
I think about how many more days I must suffer before I can be me freely.
Sometimes, I wish I was as much of a physical man as my brother is.
Because sometimes, like when we have a relatives birthday, or a celebration, he is glorified for his ability to be ox-like.
And while I sit here only weighing 130 pounds and having the strength of a rubber chicken I feel as though every bit of breath I breathe is not with the carbon my lungs put out.
Sometimes I think about you.
And how you're with him.
And it makes me sick.
Because sometimes. . .
I wish sometimes didn't exist
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 14, 2016 at 4:50 PM UTC
Sometimes, I swear I can feel my chest concaving at the thought of you.
I find interest in the fact that sometimes I want to be near you, but sometimes, I wish you were an ocean away.
Sometimes I look at my mother, and pray I'm not like her, but other times, I wish I could be more like her because that would make my life so much easier.
Sometimes, I cry alone at night.
I sit unaccompanied and begin to gorge myself on memories and guilt that I am certain will forever haunt me.
And during the day.
I think about how many more days I must suffer before I can be me freely.
Sometimes, I wish I was as much of a physical man as my brother is.
Because sometimes, like when we have a relatives birthday, or a celebration, he is glorified for his ability to be ox-like.
And while I sit here only weighing 130 pounds and having the strength of a rubber chicken I feel as though every bit of breath I breathe is not with the carbon my lungs put out.
Sometimes I think about you.
And how you're with him.
And it makes me sick.
Because sometimes. . .
I wish sometimes didn't exist
To Sheridan
