Sometimes it seems
that my best memories
and my worst memories
are the same.
But how can I miss
all those times that I lived
through such darkness and pain?
It feels so stupid to say
that I want to go back
when at the time it felt like I was in hell.
But am I really any better off
now than I was then?
Sometimes it can be so hard to tell.
I think back on all
these events from my past
and I wish that they were happening now.
My life today
seems much worse by comparison,
and I just don’t understand how.
When I know that back then
I was far more unhappy
and I had every reason to be,
and my brain tells me now
every aspect of life
has only gotten better for me.
Why do I miss people
I never liked in the first place
and want to do things I hated to do?
I can’t seem to accept
that things are better today
although I know for a fact it is true.
When I think of the past
I always feel longing
for that time that I can’t help but miss.
When I feel sorrow for what I have lost,
I must remember to tell myself this.
“These thoughts are not true,
and this feeling is false
it is just a cruel trick of the mind
the path laid before you
is never as lovely
as the one that you left behind.”