Somewhere in the Sahara

Yes, we’ll stop talking about it

I promise

There’s no need to talk about all that lost potential

I know, love

Love is harder than

The rocks I fall on and cut my knees with

When I’m not looking

Because there are so many better things to look at with my eyes

Than yours

And your voice

My ears shrivel up

Like a snail garnished with salt

I know, I’m so sorry

So sorry for all that lost time

Broken pocket watch

Repaired with angry hands

I’ll never have time to fix it

I’ll always be a minute or two late

Or three or four

Because who counts when it’s all a pink, burnt haze of mystery

And frustration

And hostility

And fleeting joy

That leaves me fiending for more

Until my head won’t stop pounding

I can see above those mountains again

I can see the whole world once more

And I am frightened

Those mountains unveil my meekness

And instead of feeling humble I curl my lip in disgust

Disgust that

Perpetuates my dissonance

And alienation from that pit of humanity that sits like a heavy stone in my stomach

Weighing on my shoddy lungs

Polluting me with that warm touch that will never flourish

No, I won’t let my eyes seem them any differently

Allow me to cower behind this rocky barricade

I can’t handle the splendor of all those lights

And all those beautiful fields warped into an endless kaleidoscope of green

Emanating kindness and acceptance

Am I doing that again?

Concentrating on those devilish details

I’m sorry, I’ll stop gazing from afar

I’ll move a little closer

And watch it all disintegrate

Into a pool of rejection

With white foam

Turning into trickling madness

My mind, yes

I almost forgot

I’ve misplaced that too

Maybe it’s with the cackling hyenas

Laughing manically at the warm desert sky

Laughing at death, and stupidly brave snakes, and the moons wispy glimmer

They’re so fragile

And ignorant

And brute

Like your perception of my sadness

I know, I don’t cry

My eyes have better things to look at

Than my own blurred pity

The toxic drizzle gets ever fiercer

Bones outside their musty cave

I’ll let them have it

I’ll die and let my parts lie and

Become sodden with dirt

Decaying until their specks of sand

Leaving me with only one question

Where will I scatter among these mounds of gold?

But I’ll have the last laugh

It’ll all drain away

But the cacti will still be there

Staring into the suns hypnotic warmth

Tall and sound

Moving only when the breeze sways them towards the sands silencing caress

They’ll only get to touch it

But they’ll never have it

They’ll never have peace

They’ll never be in pieces

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