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I failed                        I failed                                               I failed. I tried so hard and yet I failed. I did everything I was supposed to, and yet I failed. Now, it didn't matter much. I honestly don't really care. But it opens a gateway for all the thoughts that I continuously fail to lock up.                                                                                                    The thoughts.                                                                                                    The thoughts.                                                                                     Those awful thoughts. Suddenly I'm crashed into by waves of feeling everything and then when it subdues, nothing. EVERYTHING nothing EVERYTHING nothing EVERYTHING                                                                                                                     I am nothing. Those thoughts feed off my self-doubt and disappointment, like a parasite. I can't get them out. I can't get them out.                                                                                        God, they're so loud.                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP Shut up. Just shut up.                       Just stop thinking                                        Just shut your mind up                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP Don't cry, no don't cry. If you cry, they'll know,                                           and then,                                                                                      "Why are you crying?                                                                        You have no reason to be sad.                                                                        or                                                                           anxious                                                                        or                                                                           depressed                                                                        or                                                                           possibly even                                                                                                  ******* insane. No, no reason. No reason whatsoever.                                                                                                         So shut up,                                                                                                            don't cry.                                                                                               Your life is great.                                                                                    You have great friends, (Do I?)                                                                                   You have great parents, (Do I?)                                                                                                   You're healthy, (Am I?)                                                                                                       You're alive, (Am I?)                                                                                                  Nobody died." (Had I?) (I'm dead.) I'm dying dying dying Oh god, **** me please Please I can't do it on my own please please please. It hurts so much, these waves of everything and nothing over and over and over and over and over --- and nothing works. My brain doesn't work. Make it stop.                       Make it stop.                                                                                                       Make it stop                                                                                                       Stop                                                                                                           Stop                                                                                                              Stop                                                                                                                 Stop                                                                                                                    Stop. Please.
0
Nov 2, 2024
Nov 2, 2024 at 12:02 AM UTC
Off.
I failed                        I failed                                               I failed. I tried so hard and yet I failed. I did everything I was supposed to, and yet I failed. Now, it didn't matter much. I honestly don't really care. But it opens a gateway for all the thoughts that I continuously fail to lock up.                                                                                                    The thoughts.                                                                                                    The thoughts.                                                                                     Those awful thoughts. Suddenly I'm crashed into by waves of feeling everything and then when it subdues, nothing. EVERYTHING nothing EVERYTHING nothing EVERYTHING                                                                                                                     I am nothing. Those thoughts feed off my self-doubt and disappointment, like a parasite. I can't get them out. I can't get them out.                                                                                        God, they're so loud.                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP Shut up. Just shut up.                       Just stop thinking                                        Just shut your mind up                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP                                                                                                                  STOP Don't cry, no don't cry. If you cry, they'll know,                                           and then,                                                                                      "Why are you crying?                                                                        You have no reason to be sad.                                                                        or                                                                           anxious                                                                        or                                                                           depressed                                                                        or                                                                           possibly even                                                                                                  ******* insane. No, no reason. No reason whatsoever.                                                                                                         So shut up,                                                                                                            don't cry.                                                                                               Your life is great.                                                                                    You have great friends, (Do I?)                                                                                   You have great parents, (Do I?)                                                                                                   You're healthy, (Am I?)                                                                                                       You're alive, (Am I?)                                                                                                  Nobody died." (Had I?) (I'm dead.) I'm dying dying dying Oh god, **** me please Please I can't do it on my own please please please. It hurts so much, these waves of everything and nothing over and over and over and over and over --- and nothing works. My brain doesn't work. Make it stop.                       Make it stop.                                                                                                       Make it stop                                                                                                       Stop                                                                                                           Stop                                                                                                              Stop                                                                                                                 Stop                                                                                                                    Stop. Please.
"My body hurts, it hurts so much, when you're not here, can't feel you're touch" - So Much, Cavetown
#depression#anxiety#overwhelmed#overthinking#failure#disappointment#failing#lonely
Lumin_e
Written by
Lumin_e
16/NB/The back of the moon
Nov 2, 2024
Nov 2, 2024 at 12:02 AM UTC
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