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Twenty-six weeks, a steady tide, of showing up, of trying, of staying inside a circle of voices, a rhythm, a frame, a place where my pain could be spoken by name. Now the calendar’s quieter, the structure is gone, and I’m scared of the dark where I’ll practice alone. No check-ins, no circle, no weekly hello just me and the skills I’m hoping I know. I’m grateful, though deep in my bones I can see I carry a toolbox that’s travelling with me. Breath and awareness, distress riding out, names for my feelings instead of just doubt. When trauma taps hard on the old hidden doors, I hope I remember I’ve been here before. I can pause. I can ground. I can soften the flame. I don’t have to vanish to get through the shame. I hope for relationships gentler and true, With space for a 'me' that is not shrinking you. I’m learning that freezing and turning to pain was how I survived, it doesn’t have to remain. Maybe one day my voice will learn to speak out, when I ask for my needs without drowning in guilt. Maybe “no” will be something I’m able to say, and boundaries will hold, not be washed away. Self-respect is a muscle, still tender, still new, But I’m trying to train it - slow reps will do. This isn’t the ending; it’s just the beginning, the first careful stitches I’m sewing within me. Some days will be rough, and I know I may fear that I’m barely afloat, head just keeping clear. But I’m choosing to stay. I’m choosing to try. There are other ways forward - I don’t have to die. So here’s to the group, and the time, and the trust, and here’s to myself - for continuing, just. With skills in my pockets and hope in my view, I step into next - uncertain, but true.
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Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 6:59 AM UTC
Twenty-six weeks
Twenty-six weeks, a steady tide, of showing up, of trying, of staying inside a circle of voices, a rhythm, a frame, a place where my pain could be spoken by name. Now the calendar’s quieter, the structure is gone, and I’m scared of the dark where I’ll practice alone. No check-ins, no circle, no weekly hello just me and the skills I’m hoping I know. I’m grateful, though deep in my bones I can see I carry a toolbox that’s travelling with me. Breath and awareness, distress riding out, names for my feelings instead of just doubt. When trauma taps hard on the old hidden doors, I hope I remember I’ve been here before. I can pause. I can ground. I can soften the flame. I don’t have to vanish to get through the shame. I hope for relationships gentler and true, With space for a 'me' that is not shrinking you. I’m learning that freezing and turning to pain was how I survived, it doesn’t have to remain. Maybe one day my voice will learn to speak out, when I ask for my needs without drowning in guilt. Maybe “no” will be something I’m able to say, and boundaries will hold, not be washed away. Self-respect is a muscle, still tender, still new, But I’m trying to train it - slow reps will do. This isn’t the ending; it’s just the beginning, the first careful stitches I’m sewing within me. Some days will be rough, and I know I may fear that I’m barely afloat, head just keeping clear. But I’m choosing to stay. I’m choosing to try. There are other ways forward - I don’t have to die. So here’s to the group, and the time, and the trust, and here’s to myself - for continuing, just. With skills in my pockets and hope in my view, I step into next - uncertain, but true.
Written by
50/F/UK
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 6:59 AM UTC
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