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Yknow I wonder if you've heard this song
I think you'd like it
Where the lyrics are all raw
You can tell he's real passionate

My candles burnt out
And I'm still staring at the ceiling
Thinking are you still awake
Or maybe you're dreaming

Are you happy?
God I really hope that you are
Because one of us had to
Have made it that far

Are you happy?
because I really feel so bad
and all this time just passes
And I still think about your dad

I want to feel how I felt
In my sister's room
Playing music on vinyls
And embracing the gloom

But I don't think I've felt that comfortable
Inside of my skin
Since I'm faking adulthood
Drowning doubt with gin

I wanna talk
Want to not act
And be myself
But at the same time
regenerate

Another valentine's day
Without a date
It's making me want to
escape

But where would I run to?
I'm not that self destructive
I've lived a life
of luxury

Compared to me
There's many above and below
And I still hate that I
use this system so

Please talk to me
If you're even there
I need
Someone to rely on

But if depression
keeps me unaware
Then ill
never know anyone
thelemonpolice Sep 2019
His voice was like velvet
Lyrics soaked in pain
His hair was so fluffy
Like he'd walked through rain

The gentle movements
And expressive chords
Rippled out through the audience
Couldn't not applaud
thelemonpolice Sep 2019
--I think I have an issue--
That's the problem, this is it

The only thing that's really haunting me, is this strange "what if"

The theory that if my childhood
Was a little more nurturing

That I would not be the same person;
The one that's left soul searching

Well that theory is wrong
I have to say it is quite brave

To admit the only thing that's right there
Standing in the way

Is the belief that I am broken
And I should just be ashamed

Well that belief is wrong
I have to say
That really, I'm okay.

It's hard to hear when friends start talking
About all their family

And while I hush the voice inside that
Compares mine so violently

I must forgive myself
For all the judgement
I readily inflict

But if Im the one that's punishing
Then I'm my own convict

And to be truly okay
There is nothing more to do than stop

Thinking I have had it worse
Than everyone that comes along

Because I don't know their experiences
I haven't been in their skin

And my assumptions about better lives
Will never see me win

I must be grateful for experiences
The ones stuck in my skin

So I'm happy I can think like this
I'm happy I can swim

In shallow waters or the deep end
I can bash around to move

Or I could just allow myself to float
Give into it let lose

I can just be myself and whole
Nothing truly needs to change

Except the idea that I am different;
Us humans all the same.
thelemonpolice Sep 2019
If there were light
I could see the trees
From my bedroom window
Hanging over me

And I could pretend
To feel the wind
Watch the leaves all moving
And glistening

If there were light
I would see so clearly
In my room I wouldn't trip up
I'd walk so freely

If there were light
I'd see what I looked like
My appearance id change it
Put up a fight

If there were light
I'd feel much more safe
I wouldn't check the door
Lock so much each day

If there were light
I'd find others like me
to walk this road
I wouldn't be lonely

But there is some light
Even if I stumble through
Even if I think the worse of me
I'll make it through

I want to be much better
Don't want to walk in late
I wasn't born from love
But I won't die from hate
"I know where you stand, silent in the trees"   |-/
thelemonpolice Sep 2019
doubt seeps through
my head
the questions I've said

don't really make much sense
have I passed?
I beg

You, please tell me
I just can't wait much more

I wish I could be her
Or anyone

Somebody good
And professional
Just down right nice

If I could switch my place
Or just switch my eyes

But that's nothing
I need to analyse

But the more I find
The more I want to cry

They don't stop
pouring
I just think too much

I know just what to do!
But never know enough.

I need to scoop my brain out
Empty it like ice-

Cream, lay the contents out
and hope that would suffice

Me, I should mix them up
And see what I'm made of

Which flavours do I make
Which flavours are made up?

Because I'm done today
B R A I N F R E E Z E
Sort it out!

it's my mess to clean
It's my success I doubt
thelemonpolice Sep 2019
We have a house today
With a kitchen too
Loads of pots and pans

And thank God for my family
And thank God for my hands

I can write
I can draw
I can read and talk too

I can see twenty two colours
I can see me and you

It's amazing really
If you think about your life

If you stop your head from buzzing
Good things do take time

And good things do exist
And you will be fine

You can be calm right now
No pressure to realise

Anything. You're complete.
Everything you need, you have.

So go to sleep, in the morning
You'll start again.
thelemonpolice Aug 2019
When I get home
I'll drop my bags
And go and hug
My mom

I'll need a while to
Just adjust
To places
I have gone

And though the house is small
I am thankful every day

A roof, a family just waiting
Here for me

I cannot see the sunset
The buildings are too high

But if we sit inside
We'll talk about all of our lives

The flowers shes still watering
The projects she has sewn

And every time i visit I feel like
I have just grown

I do not want to flee
I feel my sister somewhere near

A chance to catch up, when I leave
I know I'll shed a tear.
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