Feeling so helpless
Yet being so hopeful

From the coldest winter morning,
To the warmest summer night.
For you in sorrow and despair,
I'll always be there to fight.

One day we all will die,
And i'll drift far away from you.
But do not worry my love,
For I'll forever love you.

For our love is not to be measured in time,
But in the time between our lives.
I'm the happiest soul my dear,
For I've received the love of my life.

One day this world will forget me,
Only soul remembering me is you.
Do not worry my love,
For I'll forever love you.

I remember that warm summer night
Before we were what we are now.
It was just you and I, laying on two separate hammocks.
We were talking, and looking up at the stars. You were sweet, and so gentle.
I wanted so desperately to leave my hammock and join you on yours.
Just so I could relax with you and lay my head to rest.
This was an instinct that was so strong, yet I kept it to myself.
It’s so sweet looking back at those memories and thinking about where we are now. I didn’t think I would fall in love with you as much as I have.
And now here I lay, alone and dreaming of the night I could have laid in the hammock with you. Because right now, it is all I desire.
Being so far away is something I’ll never get used to.
Long distance love is so difficult, so tiresome.
But because we feel so strongly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
And here I lay, alone at night. Thinking about those sweet sweet memories. Thinking about you.

I knew there was something wrong with her when I was 10
I found a magazine report about borderline personality disorder
I was reading in the school library and I started crying
I could never have put a word on what was different about my mother
But there it was, plain as day
The way she could stay in bed till 3 in the afternoon with the blinds closed
The way some days we would laugh as she asked me if I wanted to play hooky and skip out on school
We would go grab frappucinos at Starbucks and rummage through countless thrift store shelves
But some days, some days I would be screamed at until I cried
Some days I would lock myself in the bedroom until I needed to come out
Some days I would stay at school extra long and just put off going home altogether
Some days my brother and I were burdens
Some nights we would get to order pizzas and drink Coke and some nights we were told to find food for ourselves
Always with the paranoia and the headaches and the inability to do anything
Consistent with the anger and the depression
Consistent with the exhaustion and the impulsive natures
The pills never helped, the pills never made things better
Fourteen years later and things are no better, things are no easier
Things have made no progression
Fourteen years later and we don’t speak