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Omni Winters May 5
I haven't been writing too often, but that is a good thing.
Sometimes, writing less is good because it means less mental instability.
Apr 26 · 34
I Miss You
Omni Winters Apr 26
" insert name."
  
Just the echo of your name in my mind speeds the beat of my heart.

The very thought of you makes me smile like no one else can.

You're the source of my happiness.

My soul, my heart, mind and thoughts,
just surrounding in the essence of you.

      " insert name ." ♡


© 2019 Omni Winters
April 26th, 2019
Omni Winters Apr 18
How much of a loss have you had recently?
How badly do you feel emotionally?
How are you, really?
Is there anything I can do to help ease the pain?
Do you feel pain?
Emotional? Physical? Or both?

Welcome back.
I've missed you dearly.
What's life been like without me?
Please be alright.
Yes, it is an odd request, but it's this feeling I have..
I get this sense of knowing and feeling the emotional pain or joy you feel.
You're one of a kind, to me.
Sure, he was next in line, but you were always number one.
Always.
I loved you and I still do.
You've been near and dear to my heart.
I guess, there have been times where I didn't acknowledge or ignored this love.
You're very special to me.
I guess, the strong attraction I had a long while ago, was hidden away while I was still figuring myself out.
But now I feel reconnected to you.
Sometimes, the things we try to ignore or hide away can creep up on us in unexpected ways.
In my case, it had always been in my dreams.
And who would've thought I'd ever see you again?
Now, universal signs and some indirect messages can finally confirm that this is real life.
This is  happening and this is now.
Though, it may not be today, it's definitely happening.
Soon..
Soon, everything will fall into place like it should,
and every blessing will pile on and follow every other blessing.

Please, take care of yourself, take your time to heal.
I will be waiting, and I won't be going anywhere.
I promise you that.

© 2019 Omni Winters
April 17th, 2019

I'm not sure if this counts as poetry. It's more of an indirect message.
I haven't written anything in a while. I want to get back to writing.
Some major changes have happened and are just beginning for me. I'm just so happy to be living in the moment right now, and I can't wait for what my future holds. (don't know if this exposes me in some ways to others I have in mind, but I hope not).
Omni Winters Jan 2
The storms of negativity in my mind would pierce
through my brain every day.
I thought to myself,
“What if the negativity could be erased?”  
  I was a bird in a bird’s cage.

Depression was the worst.
The days brought darkness to my once happy days, and welcomed me with a demon.
Depression once brought down the joy I had.
I could feel the shadows as they swallowed my fragile heart,  tearing away at all the positive thoughts and joy I had left.
“Congratulations, you’ve won."
Little did I know, I would see life’s light and love again.

This demon dragged me away from all the good I had.  
Thump, thump, thump..
  I heard it get louder every passing second.
Thump, thump, thump.  
My heart was a ticking time bomb, hoping for some mercy from the dastardly demon.
I thought it was only a matter of time for life’s consequences to play its role in my play’s tragedy.

The days as a demon’s prisoner are gone.
I thought of all the new, positive blessings life gave me
months after the demon was defeated.

It was then, in between the dancing trees and through the
wind’s  touch that  I’d finally come to truth with what was
  past and present.

© 2018 Omni Winters
December 16th, 2018
Nov 2018 · 808
Spilled Anger, Empty Heart
Omni Winters Nov 2018
All my anger is slowly spilling out my body like the
Jugs of Aquarius, The Water Bearer.
And as I sit in total silence, my heart tightens like
the fingers inside a Chinese finger trap.
But as this feeling of negative emotion let's itself out,
the heart becomes more and more empty.

© 2018 Omni Winters
November 3rd, 2018
I wrote this about food. I'm ridiculous.
Oct 2018 · 1.4k
The New Abigail Williams
Omni Winters Oct 2018
You're innocent like the people of Salem.
But you're Abigail Williams.
We can all be a Reverend Hale sometimes. It's human.
But you are the witch.

© 2018 Omni Winters
October 26, 2018
Oct 2018 · 102
Untitled
Omni Winters Oct 2018
You're a stranger behind the person I thought I knew.

We all know that I never knew you to begin with.

I claimed to love you in one way. That is true.

And at this very second, I hold some of that love in my heart for you.

However, it isn't as as obvious as it used to be.

You were a very special lesson and part of my life and that I will not forget.

It's okay.. I know you don't listen or care as much as I want.

Do you enjoy this attention?

Truth is, others can feel similarly about you as I did.

Life is too short to stay stuck in the past.
It is too short to stay stuck on old habits.
It's time to create a fresh start.. a better start.

You and me, as normal people would.

Start a conversation and talk.
Get comfortable enough to avoid any embarrassment.
Get rid of any discomfort and confusion.

Let's get used to life and the bright, happy beginnings it brings for us all.

© 2018 Omni Winters
October 14th, 2018
Oct 2018 · 115
Red's a Wonderland
Omni Winters Oct 2018
You were my inspiration.
God is great and all, but you're so much better.
Lay down your thoughts and ideas.
I want a part of your wonderland.

© 2018 Omni Winters
October 14th, 2018
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
An Intriguing Lock
Omni Winters Oct 2018
What is it like to think with your brain?

What is it like to think with such a mind like yours?

I want to look into your soul, to see who you really are.

I want to explore the depths of your beautiful and complex mind.

How does it feel to have such intelligence?

Is everything about logic and rationalizing ideas?

I wonder how you feel.

I want to know your emotions.

I want to know your heart:

Who do you love?
What do you love?
   What are your interests?
  What are your passions?

I want to know everything.

How is it that I have such an amazing person presently in my life,
and I don't know anything about them?

You're such a mystery.

A lock that won't budge.

Why is that lock so stubborn?

© 2018 Omni Winters
October 1st, 2018
Omni Winters May 2018
Who is this being inside of me?
Why is she trying to break my true self?
Why is this unwelcome being trying to pull me from reality?
My perception hasn't been very clear these days.
The dark forces that live in my head have taken over my heart and thoughts... for now.

Seeing you is painful. This dark force wants me to forget all the good in you. I love you, but I cannot stand to love a person if my thoughts aren't clear. I cannot stand the feeling of loving someone who's over one million miles away.

The girl was in love with the moon. She would do anything to be with it. But every time she tries to catch it, it moves away.
The moon is close yet so far away. She chases the moon every night in hopes that she will one day have it, hold it, and protect it. No matter how hard she tried to reach it, the moon would get farther and farther away. With you, I don't see a difference.

I thought I had been so obvious from the start. Maybe you're just too blind to see that something good is right in front of you.
This is a waste of time. You are soon going to become
my waste of time. Why chase after something/someone if they don't make the same effort that you do? With or without glasses, you have a hard time seeing the big picture. You're blind to seeing good when it's staring you right in the face.

Seeing your face makes the knife in my heart moving ever so swiftly, making it hard to breathe. Your being is the very definition of betrayal... at least, that's what she wants me to believe.
The way you walk past me, through me like a ghost as if nothing were wrong. You're not innocent, you should be punnished for all the lies. Why should I ever believe you?
I know you're the right one. But does she know that?

Actions speak louder than words. I am a girl with the gift of writing. I am good with it all on my own. I don't need you to write me short answer responses, when I give you books. I give you books and plays. You give me short answer responses as if I'm a useless quiz you'll never see or need to know after it is done.
Is that truly the case? Or is there more? If so, why hide it?
Why hide all these 'secrets' away from someone who would keep them safe and secure?

© 2018 Omni Winters
May 21st, 2018
May 2018 · 5.8k
Craving The Unknown
Omni Winters May 2018
Don't they understand?
We crave the very thing our loved ones are scared of.
"It isn't healthy! It isn't normal!
I'm concerned for you.
I'm worried about you.
Think about
what you're doing to yourself.
Do you think this is beautiful? Do you think you are beautiful? What are you going to do about this? You need help. I want to help you, let me help you. Look at what you're doing to yourself..."
Who the hell do they think they are to tell us how we should act or feel?
How would they know what we're going through?
People like us are strong. We have our goals
and intend to fight for them.
**** what they say.
I crave the unknown. I crave what others fear.
Sever my pain away and open up new
beginnings with your tool of mass destruction.

© 2018 Omni Winters
May 13th, 2018
I apologize for my use of profanity in this piece of writing. I tend to use a lot of it when I feel emotions such as anger and I feel like it is the appropriate time to use it, even though there are better words to replace it.
May 2018 · 4.2k
Friend
Omni Winters May 2018
Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.

In some instances, we do not choose who we are going to be friends with. It just kind of.. happens. We may be sitting alone reading a book or staring off into nothingness, and then someone walks right up to you. You don't know if you are going to be friends with this stranger. Sure, they could be attractive, have a nice personality based on what you see and hear from others.

But when that first conversation starts, there is no way back to peace and life without them.

From stranger to a weight that keeps pulling you down.
"Get rid of them! If they cared about you, they would take the time to talk." , says my brain and logic. "They have feelings too! They're really nice!", says my heart. "What did they ever do to you?"

Nothing. They did nothing.

Friends don't back-stab you, or ignore you. They don't ignore what you say or send to them. It doesn't matter how weird or inappropriate you act or speak, as long as you know where the boundaries are and you have a good heart and soul.

As Snow White takes a bite out of a poisonous apple, I too have had my share of poison apples that continue to stay by my side.

© 2018 Omni Winters
May 5th, 2018
Apr 2018 · 332
Future Relationship
Omni Winters Apr 2018
Here come the tears.
Though they aren't as
bad as they seem.
For the days ahead are brighter
and full of happy and promising
moments waiting for me.

Every subliminal message,
the numbers, and readings from the past and future.. all of them were true.

And what's not to be excited for?
The moment I have been
waiting for is almost here.
So close, but still many days away.
We made it this far.

So, how can anyone say the
universe didn't want you to be near?

Perhaps, we were not meant to
be forever, but to be an always;
our 'first'.

The universe likes to bring us together into perfect little scenarios that will strengthen what we already have.

© 2018 Omni Winters
April 26th, 2018
Apr 2018 · 86
These Situations
Omni Winters Apr 2018
He opens up the door and finds her staring at him, furious.
"You're looking at me funny. Did I do something wrong?"
She doesn't answer him.
She continues to feel jealous and ticked off as he goes to sit next to her on the bed.

Although she had this urge to yell at him for something that wasn't his fault, she quickly moved over to his side for an aggressive hug.
She held him for 2 minutes and neither of them said a word.
All that she could say at this point was "Sorry."

The aggravation and consistency of jumping to conclusions eats away at all she ever thinks about.

'This needs to STOP. I shouldn't think so negatively and assume the worst of every situation.  I shouldn't make myself
believe all the lies I tell. I do not want to be that person
who judges everyone based on their actions.
If I don't know all the details of a situation, I should not make all of these conclusions.

What is a hypothesis without it's evidence?
Where is the logic in all of this? I have wronged someone I care about. This way of thinking is not acceptable.
Why must my brain work the way it does?
Where is the knowledge needed from those situations
you always think about so negatively?

We all have to believe something harmless will come out of
a situation we overanalyze. We must do less thinking on the ones that aren't as Idiotic as the Orange Orangutan we call a President. Let's focus on the real issues of the world, instead of just
harmless, meaningless actions from our friends,
family, and acquaintances.'

© 2018 Omni Winters
April 20th, 2018
Mar 2018 · 176
The Little Yellow Bird
Omni Winters Mar 2018
As the sad little yellow bird sings his song, all of life goes on.
None of the other little birds like to talk to him.
They think he's strange.

Strange is a word that his Momma dislikes and doesn't want her young one to use. She's afraid of the negativity he might get out of the world.

One spring morning, the little yellow bird decided to go on an adventure beyond the nest. He was so bright and full of energy.
He was truly living life to the fullest.

It wasn't until the third week of spring that the little bird's life began to take a turn for the worst...

© 2018 Omni Winters
February 24th, 2018
Mar 2018 · 276
Untitled
Omni Winters Mar 2018
Why can't you just let go of all fear and thoughts
holding you back from what you crave and seek the most?
The very thing that you've been longing for that has entered your life a little while back and still loves everything that is YOU?
She only wants the best for you..
Even if it means your happiness
doesn't include her.

You're such a prize to behold.
You're her favorite word, her favorite thought and memory, and the dream she goes back to every night.

When she thinks all is lost, the thought of you and the many remarkable things about you remind her why she should keep going.
She would fight for you and unconditionally love you day through night.

Your absence is never easy for her.
Every second away from you continuously causes her heart to break and bury itself into the ground.
The longer you two keep distant, the more it will hurt.
The memory of you starts to fade after a while.
All there is to remember you by
is the happiness she feels when she thinks about you,
the love she has.

No matter how fearful you are,
take that bold move and show her your
appreciation for everything she's done.
She deserves so much for everything she sacrifices.
And it's all for you.

She is protective of you as a mother is protective of her children.
She imagines you in horrible tragedies and always imagines herself fighting to see if you're alright in the end.

That's all she wants.

She wants you to be alright.. more than alright.

Knowing you are happy and well
will make loving you worth while.

She is the brave, empathetic and creative person
you only wish you could be.

You are MORE than enough.
For her and the world.

© 2018 Omni Winters
March 13th, 2018

That last line I either cut out or keep when I share it with people (depending on who I show it to). I do that with a lot of the things I write because you never know how someone is going to react.
Omni Winters Jan 2018
I can only hope to one day be as beautiful and wanted as other girls.
Thin girls are beautiful. I know it seems unhealthy, but I admire their bodies.
I feel like crying at the sight of them too, but it may be because I'm not perfect enough.
Their bodies represent their monsters that keep them from being
themselves. I can see it through the skin and bones.
But doesn't it look lovely?
To be almost enough?
No one really thinks that you're ever enough no matter what you weigh or what your body looks like.
Society doesn't think you're good enough.

How wonderful would it be if you could do anything to end the suffering without making others suffer or cry and worry about you?

Very.

You want to punish yourself for not being the person everyone wants you to be.
But it's difficult to do that when you don't want to hurt or worry the people you love with your heart and soul.
It would be selfish, to hurt yourself just to hurt those who want
the best for you.
Who knows what they truly think and what their true intentions of you are?
No one makes an effort to return all the love you give them.
And you receive the love from strangers or people who you don't even love or care much about.
You appreciate the effort those strangers give.

I'd only wish that everyone else would do the same.

It is sad, really. I'm told that I am cared about and loved.
But those are just words [mostly through text].
It means nothing if not said in person.
You never know what they really mean.
The tone of their voice when they say it truly matters to me.
Their body language.
Eye contact.

Does anyone want me? Does anyone want to make the effort?
The effort to talk to me first.
I should give myself credit for fighting.
The lack of love I would like to receive kills some parts of me.
A hug isn't really meaningful, unless it's from the person you want or need or love and actually care about.

I can see myself suffering from a broken heart.
The pain will (sooner or later) become unbearable.
I'll keep bottling up all of the negativity.

Overthinking kills your happiness. I don't have much.
The simple things in life make me happy.

Most of the time, I feel like crying, but I can't because
I don't want people to see me as weak.
I really only cry if anything is too overwhelming.

I want to help those girls who are suffering with eating disorders. But a part of me wants to be that girl with the eating disorder.
My chest feels funny whenever I look at photos and I have the urge to cry, but nothing.
Time to face the truth.
Whether I lose or gain weight, I will never be happy with
how I look.
I don't exactly enjoy making myself feel ******, but I don't hate it either.
It's the only thing I can actually do.
It's just something that won't disappoint because I know it will always be possible to do..

Part of the complications is pain
I need people.
I want, but mostly need people. I need a hug.
I need the one thing I'm missing in my life right now: comfort, safety, someone to be there.
I don't just need the person who gives good advice and pep talks and tries to "comfort" someone through texting.
I need a person to be there physically (next to me, near me).
I need a lot of things to be completely honest here.
Can't be too greedy with certain things.
Not everything is something you can just claim yours.
They are earned and need to be respected as others are.

I do want to change the world.
And by that, I mean I want to fix up everything people think, so that the world won't be as ****** and messed up as it has been.
I always do my best to help people, but people don't help me.
It *****. It hurts. And for that, I hate people. Any rude, horrible person existing right now should AT LEAST be locked up somewhere they can't escape.
If things have to go further than that, then I would suggest the electric chair.
I would never go to violence as an answer, unless
absolutely necessary.

I hate the world that we live in.
Why must there be idiots living among us?
I'm talking about the people who don't think before they act or speak. They just DO. And it drives me mad.
This world needs to be filled with people more intelligent or at least smart enough to know the difference between making good and bad decisions.

I am not the most intelligent person
in the world, for sure.
However, I am a person who has a lot of logic and common sense.
I think with my brain and feel with my heart.
I rely on both my brain and my heart when it comes to making decisions, which I **** at doing.
I am not good at making decisions because I always see things from both perspectives; two versions of the story/topic, etc.

© 2018 Omni Winters
EDIT MADE (11/23/18):  I URGE ANYONE THAT IS EASILY TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING DEPRESSING AND ANYTHING IT RELATES TO, TO NOT READ THIS, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE ALSO SENSITIVE. PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME! MESSAGE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS. I NO LONGER FEEL THIS WAY, BUT I USED WRITING TO HELP ME VENT AND PULL THROUGH MY DEPRESSION. I NO LONGER FEEL ANY SORT OF NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY.


January 22nd, 2018

I don't know if this is really a poem, but I'm sharing it anyway. Who knew that writing something great took drinking two cups of coffee and staying up all night?
Jan 2018 · 110
Love
Omni Winters Jan 2018
How must one feel about love?
Content, thrilled, worried, terrified, confused, or unsure?
Love is a simple smile or a hug goodbye.
Love is risking everything you have and what you are for someone who has nothing.
Love is sharing half of your heart with the person you care so deeply about.
It can teach us the many things we should love about one another.
It is taking the blame for something we didn't do.
It is complicated, but wonderful.

      © 2017 Omni Winters
July 28th, 2017
Jan 2018 · 229
Her (CML)
Omni Winters Jan 2018
Many thoughts that were once in your mind come back in
    a second when looking at the right person.

She's my trigger.

I was happy with myself:

Body type, ****** features, hair, and weight didn't matter to me.

The moment my eyes lock onto hers, everything I thought was okay disappears.

I am alone with the monster once again.

"I wish I was... I should be/have... Why am I [not]...

Why can't I be... I'll never be... I am not..."

© 2017 Omni Winters
October 23rd, 2017
Jan 2018 · 99
Them
Omni Winters Jan 2018
Ever look at someone and think "wow how are they so perfect?".
They are actual supernatural human beings both physically and mentally.
Everything from their eye shape and color:
Their eyes have a whole other universe inside of them and are full of wonder and adventure.
Deep blue oceans across the world that you want to discover.
Unique features on their face that you can't stop admiring.
Every single detail makes you want to cry tears of joy.
They're the most beautiful people you've ever known, inside and out.
Makes you want to know everything there is to know about who they are and their different points of views on the world.
Incredible people.
Everything you want in life is found in their life and you want it badly and cry.. but also crying when comparing them to yourself.
If you  were to chose between one of these following things, which would you choose?

One million dollars or half a penny?
100 roses or one dead rose petal?
A diamond or a pebble?

In a world filled with half pennies, dead rose petals and pebbles, they are the one million dollars, 100 roses and diamonds.

Know that feeling you get when you read a poem that gets you into your feelings?

It's like that with people too.

One glance at them and it's like God hit you with a lightening bolt filled with tears of either love, sadness, happiness...
 
   © 2017 Omni Winters
July 31st, 2017
Jan 2018 · 247
The Sun, Moon and Ascendant
Omni Winters Jan 2018
How do I reach out to someone whose personality is trapped behind closed doors?

How do I ask questions that will give me all the right answers?

[He's] a wolf behind the sheep.

A slightly sensitive being behind the introverted, intelligent twins, and the independent, strong archer.

© 2017 Omni Winters
October 10th, 2017
Jan 2018 · 277
Thoughts and Emotions
Omni Winters Jan 2018
Thousands of emotions can come from one person.
That person may be thinking of a certain situation or other person that first triggered all of these random emotions.
For me, it's another person I care about so much.
I'm the type to hold in emotions and look forward into my life.
These emotions are often negative.
No worries, right?
Takes a lot for me to show my true emotions, but when I do, it comes out rapidly.
Showers running down my face that can't be clearly explained.
Emotions vs. Negative Thoughts; Heart vs. Brain.
My heart feels like it's being crushed, squeezed, stabbed with swords at my darkest moments.
Love is a curious thing.
It is filled with both positive and negative outcomes.

© 2017 Omni Winters
August 15th, 2017

— The End —