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Sep 2019 · 311
not gonna cry
sunshine Sep 2019
it's an odd feeling to watch your best friend

get on a plane and fly off to another world

its three years but I'm keeping my Monday tradition
it ***** when you
lose someone but
they're not actually gone


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 315
my love of the spider's web
sunshine Sep 2019
I trace and lace my fingers
through your webbed back
and I watch the lies spin
silky threads around and
drip down my arms till
I feel submerged in the
pool of black water and I
look up to the pin-pointed
sky but my heart sinks
heavy back into the web
that you once entrapped me
and I begin to wonder
where have you been?
when was the last time
someone truly loved you?
light the darkness
cut me down
love me never


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 310
frag-ments
sunshine Sep 2019
forget me
or not
whichever you decide
i'm waiting
at the edge of the dock
ran out
of sympathy
for you


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 250
worthy of a thousand words
sunshine Sep 2019
by now I think I could write

several books about you

and how many times you've ******* me over

but writing about you isn't worth my time
pages on pages
of many nights
shedding tears to fill my soul


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 527
angel eyes
sunshine Sep 2019
and I swear the angels envy you

because your eyes look like

God pulled down galaxies and put them in yours
she cries
stars and diamonds
glisteningly sad


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 340
see me this way
sunshine Aug 2019
rose hips
curvy lil baby
her smile
the way she laughs
nothing ever compares
she drives you crazy
mentally unstable
busy lil heartbreaker
a magnet on my heart
never enough
her eyes
blue waves
the way she sleeps
hair all over her face
hands between yours
totally in love
like a bird in a cage
you freed her
soaring in love together
its always been you
even when i hate you
ill find my way back


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 259
he's one of them
sunshine Aug 2019
that song still is playing, as your hands hold me

and i know i'll never be able to dance to it

cause when i was in that moment

i finally saw what it was like to fall in love with the devil
i ******* loved you
but maybe
i ******* can't have you


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 249
twisted games
sunshine Aug 2019
i found out all your lies

laid out on the table

thinking you could have played me

but my cards were all worth nothing

counted up against me

you turned into a devil at the game

and i never saw your colours

and i never saw your intentions

but i found out your lies

wasted in the back of another bottle

so tell me that you're okay

because i still want to play to save you

my friends warned me

they told me what was good for me

they told me you spelled trouble

but here you are

cashing in your time spent like its money

placing your bets again

other hands at the table mean nothing to you

but i see all your lies

so don't come for me

because i'll make sure you run out

of fools to play your twisted games
he was my lover
i was his queen
but it was all a game


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 693
what I meant to say
sunshine Aug 2019
and to think I actually fell in love

and to think you told me secrets

but I was playing with fire

I burnt what love I could have gave you
he’s long gone
taking photos with another
telling me that’s what he wanted


Xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 234
unfortunate expectations
sunshine Aug 2019
I can’t expect you to remember
I can’t expect you to care
But every once in a while you meet someone who turns your whole life upside down
I remember everything about you
I even care
But every now and again you make question why I even love you and why I’m not right side up
they warned me
they told me lies
now I’m wondering who you are


Xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 199
insert broken heart here
sunshine Aug 2019
I've let my heart be broken before

So why should this time be any different?

You swept me off my feet like all those others did
he was cute
she was too blind
the cute ones don't last


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 307
dreamland
sunshine Aug 2019
do i want to even dream?
fall into that loop of
                               you standing there
                               me breathless again
                               admitting all my mistakes
                               admitting maybe you're irreplaceable
but i wake up every time
taking a deep breath
catching up to reality again
because its been a while since
                                           i've seen you
                                           heard from you
                                           even thought about you
you make it so easy to fall in love
you make it so easy for me to hate you
do i even want to dream?
fall into a lucid cycle of
                                     thinking i was good without you
                                     kissing you hard
                                     letting your hands fall where they shouldn't
                                     regretting and breaking glass
but focus
wake up again
the sun rises and i'm back
knowing i'm fully in love
with everything i hate about you
i dream
i sleep
i wake up without you


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 216
but wait
sunshine Aug 2019
lacy ropes
around her fingers
blooming
tighten the draw
arrows in fire
dipping her toes in the dark
trying to let go
moonlight standing over
rosy cheeks
glowing softly
winter's kiss goodbye
hands twisted up
branches breaking glass
the dark pulling
running through the snow
stop
hold her
she can't leave me now
where was she going
when i told her
goodbye?


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 460
trust me, it takes a while
sunshine Aug 2019
it takes me a while to admit
you're all i feel when i dream
it takes me a while to realize
you're all i've really wanted all along

and i know i've never been you're favourite
but trust me you've been mine
and i know another's on your mind
but trust me i can't get you off of mine

it takes me a while to focus
when you're standing right there
it takes me a while to breath
when you move in closer than before

and i know i'll never be the one
but trust me you'll be the perfect one
and i know someone else has your heart
but trust me you've had mine forever
i can't admit
but i won't lie
you're just trouble


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 346
you need to see this
sunshine Jul 2019
you just need to shut up you're ruining the moment

you just need to slow down you're taking it too far

you just need to see we aren't in love and walk away
i'm high
or maybe i'm lost
these feelings both feel the same


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 288
focus right here on me
sunshine Jul 2019
how do i even find the right words
to fit onto this white screen
a million rapidly fading moments
i can't catch them and i can't let them go
everything went out of focus
when i was standing there in your arms
i know you're tired of trying
maybe you're tired of me
but i just wanna feel this between you and me
why did you have to walk away
never going to find the right things to say
never going to feel the right things
i'm a self-destructive mess
you seemingly held me up from falling to the floor
my lips still can feel your warmth
and i can't think knowing you don't want me
yet here you are
how do you even find the right words to say
to fit into that white screen
a million rapidly pulsing moments
i am catching them and i won't let them go
everything fell into focus
when you finally ended up here in my arms
don't fall in love at the club
don't dance with a stranger
you'll only lose your mind, dancing queen


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 302
really want you
sunshine Jul 2019
such a beautiful creature
she's icy with her stare
makes the wind around her change
makes the summer feel like rain
baby girl has got me
falling on my knees
like all she really has to do
is look at me and say,
"I want you. all I really mean, is I want you.
nothing else matters when I want you"
more moods
more vibes
less hating


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 273
but I wanna
sunshine Jul 2019
spacing out
but I wanna be stuck in your universe

speeding around
but I wanna be riding with you

lost again
but I wanna be lost in your eyes

f--ked up right
but I wanna be f--cked up with you

staying up late
but I wanna be late cuz I was with you
thank you
for the love
see you soon


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 541
letting go
sunshine Jul 2019
Just be my baby for one night

Promise I'll let you go in the morning

But kiss me when I run away
im out of words
lost of all sense
emotion-broken


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 368
sweet dreams
sunshine Jul 2019
why do I stay up

just to see that reply

of you telling me goodnight?
up late
out early
because of you


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 349
thin line between us
sunshine Jul 2019
so waste me, tear me, tell me I'm nothing

cuz when you're crying, broken, and holding onto nothing

then you'll wish I hadn't run, gone, and left you with nothing
nothings into nothings
that's what you did
with my love


xoxo
-sunshine
Jul 2019 · 385
a chess game of love
sunshine Jul 2019
the way you move
why did I let you move
undressed me
pulled me closer
3 am till morning
I should have walked away
should have said no
let myself be your pawn
the way your hands move
following my curves
hips and legs
you know how to move
lips on my neck
your hands on my thigh
maybe I should reconsider
thought you'd make me queen
my feelings are in the clouds
but I feel nothing
but he's not here
you know how to make your move
taking all my defenses
picked me up late
kissed me on the forehead
I let it all happen
yet you're not here
he's not anywhere close
you made your move
now I surrender
a game lost
another win in your books
checkmate
made to be
mate-less


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 220
its black and white
sunshine Jun 2019
the lights dim
the window pane paints you in a light I've never touched before
I swear we've been here though
with you standing in front of me
like now I need to make a choice; a fork in the road
we told each other secrets to make the nights go easy
and when I reached down and gave you my heart, you turned away
the sun makes you glow
but that doesn't mean you don't have your dark parts
I know you were hiding something from me
blooding dripping from the hearts you stole
I was the only one you ever loved like that
my sister told me you were too good to be true
writing down ****** mystery stories in my journal
making your lies sound less insane and more real
but my skin craves you
the sun sets on us and we're trapped once again
our endless circles of misery chase us
your ex-lover called me, banging on the door
we pretended not to hear the whispers through the walls
I told you not to hurt me again
but I guess I got caught in the middle again
I'm waging wars against anyone other than you, the monster
dig up deep, the past you wanted to hide
show me you're not him
the twilight makes you a ghostly figure
and you've only ever seen me as an angel
I was the only one you ever loved before her, and her, and her
but you made it sound convincing
we never needed anyone to make us fall in love
nature pulled the moon and the stars to our feet
the universe brought you to me
but I tried to run away time and time again
as if my bottled tears could build me an ocean to drown in
I would wipe my tears on your t-shirt
we staged this play of heartbreak and bloodshed
to perform a drama everyone wished they had
but they don't really want this, what we have
my forever, my end
this is the part where you chase after me into the rain
you were never good with romance
only when you had me in your grasp and I let you
I feel sorry for you like your mother does
then again I need to forget you but here we are
the moonlight appears
the shadows draw your figure like my fingers never could
I swear this is deja vu
with me standing here and waiting for you to move
this time you found me
and once more we danced the lover's dance
but this time was different
this time you killed me
take me far away
i'll stay overnight
and you take carry me to my grave


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 194
let me just say
sunshine Jun 2019
I needed to take a minute to tell you
needed to take a second to try and wrap my mind around
the fact that you're a million miles away
and I'm still hooked on you
a thought in my mind could drive me insane
the way I think of your skin like that
the way I wonder of what you'd do the moment we'd see
me standing there and you standing there
would it be the same thing as what I see in my dreams?
would your skin taste the same way as I've thought it would?
you see, you remind me of a summer night
warm and blissful and killing me softly
take this into your dreams and think of me
because we're so high on everything right now
I needed to take a minute to say what I need to
but I don't even know if you'll understand my obsession
would you even say the same back to me?
would you give me those small replies back?
everyone tells me this is so wrong and you're gonna hurt me
but how would they even know what you do to me?
take your time in this moment and you'll understand why
I wish you'd text me out of the blue and make me smile
we're not committed like I hope we'll be
I'm still out playing games like the last ***** you saw
I'm still trying to get the last guy out of my mind
I needed to take some time for myself
before I tried to say what I needed to say
why did you just have to take my words right out of mouth?
my heart is true and it never lies to you, ever
would you ever say the same to me though?
would you get your knees for it because it's queen?
broken soul and messed up memories of those who used me
I'd still call and wait for you unlike all those others girls do
because I feel like it's always been you
all my love has been wasted on those who take and take
and I keep giving and giving because I do
let me just say these things
you don't have to give me another read and leave
I needed to take a minute to tell you
That I don't have the intention of letting you go anytime soon
a love letter:
which I'll never send
and he"ll never read
Jun 2019 · 173
take time
sunshine Jun 2019
take time for yourself now darling

take time to just drop that **** and leave him

take time because the world ain't gonna give you any
stopwatch it
rewind it
i missed a whole year


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 212
up there
sunshine Jun 2019
stuck in the clouds dreaming about another world

stuck on this earth wondering what the stars taste like

then you send me straight to heaven with that look
touch
hold
never let go


xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Jun 2019
mind numb and finger's racing
just for a touch closer than this
but all i find are the bottles on the counter
the music echoing through my brain
my veins pulsing
dipping below midnight and out till twilight
after dark i couldn't find you
i made an excuse for the closest body

heart numb and skin cold
just for someone other than you
but all i find is that you're a heartbreak
the smoke going through my nose
my eyes  flickering
dipping into the oceans and out into the blue
after the sun rose i couldn't find you
so i made an excuse and called you anyways
you were the most
you were the last
killing me off


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 213
two words
sunshine Jun 2019
black screen
unsaid words
he promised
left me
rainy windows
hopelessly lost
loving you
without anything
lights off
lights on
love me
hesitating to
late nights
turning tides
blank faces
thousand feelings
drowning sorrows
empty bottles
smoke screens
save me
kissing her
gone far
keep it
keep me
hands around
closing doors
blissful silence
broken hearts
crossing lines
quietly lying
far away
only him
only them
lighting strikes
close together
oceans apart
million fears
past pain
future resentment
start here
end there
save me
from them
from me
nothing left
to say
but this


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 222
clothes
sunshine Jun 2019
I thought it would never end like this

you've taken all the words right out of my mouth

but I'm now about to take all the clothes off your back
opposites attract baby


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 171
over again
sunshine Jun 2019
thought it would be over when we said it was over

thought I could turn my back and tell myself it was done

but its never really over if I'm still not over you
help i've fallen for you and i can't get up
(thank you for all the love on my last few poems ily)

xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 198
call me
sunshine Jun 2019
He called me up and came through

He stood there at the bar and called me out

But baby, you're the one who didn't change the caller ID
should put a ring on it
should put it on silent


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 249
i'm dreaming
sunshine Jun 2019
I used to think true love was a lie and a fantasy.

Making up fairytales in my mind just for fun.

Now he's standing here and I swear I'm dreaming.
its here to stay, as long as you do


xoxo
-sunshine
Jun 2019 · 230
another weekday
sunshine Jun 2019
Love confessions from your best friend

Getting drunk on a Monday night

Sorry but this is just another weekday for me
miley's new album is fire


xoxo
-sunshine
May 2019 · 306
missin out
sunshine May 2019
Took his time tryna trap me

Took his time tryna get out of me

Now he's looking back in and missin out
tell him boy bye


xoxo
-sunshine
May 2019 · 1.1k
t-shirt
sunshine May 2019
he's off somewhere now

ran away with my heart

but I stole his t-shirt, so guess we're even
starting some new short poems
hope you like
thx


xoxo
-sunshine
May 2019 · 231
a ghost of my past
sunshine May 2019
blank screen
notification
light fills the dark ceiling
waiting to hear from you
you're all I stay awake for
a million miles away
but I still want you
close to me
like we used to be
when life wasn't so complicated
when we got high
that one night and you held me
I didn't want you to leave
but you're leaving me wanting
more every time
you go and come back
I've developed a taste for you
the dark and the twisted
we're tangled up in this plot
notification
you told me you're on a plane
going to places I've never been
and I miss you
lights crossing my mind
that summer we kissed
back when life was easier
I could have told you
begging you to stay
but maybe you changed
your heart isn't the same as mine
blank screen
empty inbox
silent calls
you left me wondering
part of me just keeps you close
even if I don't know where you are
still hasn't called
still hasn't texted
still a ******* mess, **** boy


xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine May 2019
kiss me
hold me
leave me
repeat
I spent my last couple dollars
tryna find you in the night
but you ran like a deer in headlights
spotted me a thousand miles away
love me
dine me
hurt me
repeat
told your momma I wasn't the one
lying to your friends about me
cuz you were scared to give up the pieces
like a chess game without rules or boundaries
break me
tear me
burn me
repeat
the past tends to bite when you least expect
whenever the midnight fades pink
when we were stumbling downtown in the lights
telling jokes without a punch line
repeat
repeat
repeat
repair
rewind
redeem
refit
rely
regret
stay and breath
the ocean air
the taste of tears


xoxo
-sunshine
May 2019 · 324
devil in Dior
sunshine May 2019
he told me I was a devil in Dior
I told him he was wrong

he told me I would be lost without him
I told him he was wrong

he told me I was a monster in disguise
I told him he was wrong

he told me I was a ***** and a liar
I told him that was probably true

he told me we were meant to be
I told him he expected too much

he told me I wasn't patient enough
I told him it's just how **** is

he told me things
I told him things

I know I'm a devil dressed in Dior

I know I would be lost without him

I know I was a monster in disguise

I know I was a ***** and a liar

I know we were meant to be

but I wasn't patient enough
kiss me softly
tell me lies
leave me lonely


xoxo
-sunshine
May 2019 · 210
young kids, young fools
sunshine May 2019
young kids
falling in love
breaking their own hearts
wearing hearts on their sleeves
and their tear-stained faces
at seventeen
crying over another

young kids
falling in love
over and over again
never caring who's next
and their ***** shoes
at eighteen
crying over another

young kids
falling in love
the never-ending lifestyles
hitting the nicotine
and their broken hearts
at nineteen
crying over another
I remember when I said I love you
at eighteen,
same age I broke your heart


xoxo
-sunshine
May 2019 · 659
i'm too busy
sunshine May 2019
he smiles at me and I'm put into a daze
too busy dealing cards to myself
and I know he's gonna break my heart forever
his hands fit so nicely over my wounds
but the other ones wiped my tears away
too busy looking past the facts
I know I wish the other ones did what you do
he's so perfect with his lips on my neck
but what do I even do next when he looks like that
too busy obsessing over tomorrows
he tells me I am like no other
and I know when I wear that color his eyes don't leave me
his body never felt like the others did
too busy feeling lost without you
too busy to ignore these feelings
too busy making mistakes over again
and I know you're not too busy to make plans with me
but I know I'm too busy for you every time
he came and went
he kissed and told
and of course, I took him back

xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Apr 2019
miss you more
when i miss my old self
when i look in the mirror
you miss me
when i walk away
when you're drunk in love
because i miss you
you miss me
we're missing everything
i cried over you
he said it didn't matter
so stop me and hold me


xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Apr 2019
who am I kidding
I won't apologize for this dress fitting my *** like this
not getting on my knees for this
I ain't sorry at all
wore my heart on my sleeve for this sh*t
no, I ain't sorry at all
baby you just played the wrong girl
now you're about to get a whole lot of curve from this dress
but you ain't allowed to touch any
cuz I ain't sorry at all
because your excuses aren't worth it anymore
who did you think you were holding?
because she's the devil in disguise
a demon with an angel's halo
I ain't apologizing forever
he played me for the last time
baby has fire in her veins
all of you about to get burned


xoxo
-sunshine
Apr 2019 · 350
f**k boys
sunshine Apr 2019
they always make it feel like the first time
and leave for the second

they tell me they love me for the third time
and ask for forgiveness for the forth

they roll over and smile in the morning for the fifth time
and leave my calls unanswered for the sixth

they visit my momma's house for the seventh time
and pile all their clothes into the car for the eighth

they pay for dinner and a movie for the ninth time
and act like nothing's wrong for the tenth

eleven more days I could stand it
or twelve more weeks
but I rather spend thirteen hours thinking about me
instead of rewriting my text to you for the fourteenth
but I've had fifteen lovers and none of them were like you
one, two, three, and four
I think I should stop
acting like I need to settle the score


xoxo
-sunshine
Apr 2019 · 489
mistakes were made
sunshine Apr 2019
maybe i made the mistake
of thinking you could choose her
and still look at me the same way
but now you spend the twilight hours
leaving me with a ghost of you
i made a mistake of thinking
his heart was decided
but turns out its not


xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Apr 2019
maybe its the way i used to think about you
maybe its the simplicity of things between gravity and earth
but i caught inseparable to the glow in your eyes
caught mesmerized by the fact that you care too much
and for a moment we become lovers to our words
and for a second i think im falling for you again

maybe we had something more when we were young and in love
maybe we kept too many secrets under the mattress
but i fell for your charm and your sweet smile
every little bit of your aura enchanted me when you walked in
and for a moment we became lovers not friends
and for a second i thought i saw you falling for me again

maybe it was all bad timing or someone switched our clocks
maybe it was something i said in different wavelengths
but you were caught inseparable to the sparkle in my eyes
and for a moment we became broken not lovers
and for a second you probably saw me falling for you again
wrote this for my friend
wrote this for my lover
wrote this for my ex


xoxo
-sunshine
Apr 2019 · 3.1k
touch
sunshine Apr 2019
baby girl,
that beautiful soul looking back at your in the mirror
she is an inspiration
an angel with soft golden hair
and a fiery touch to send any man to his knees
you tell em
that you've spoken your mind
tell em
you're here to stay
(I'm back with my series)


xoxo
-sunshine
Apr 2019 · 1.1k
sunday memories
sunshine Apr 2019
a Sunday morning
waking up with a pain in my chest
wondering what the hell I did last night
trying to piece together my life
I remember crawling the mirror after you dropped me off
I saw that dead reflection looking back at me
the girl I once knew was no longer there
her eyes had become hungry and wild
her skin peeling away to reveal the gold
twisted thorn branches around her neck and spine
a mess of a human
she had given up her love
for a man dressed in satin trying to hide is dying heart
his smile was ever deceiving and clever and wise
I knew not what I had started or when it would end
I had started down a bad path
Saturday night I was wrapped in his arms
come Sunday morning his love was gone
I had let him see my worth
I had let him touch the most delicate parts of my soul
given them up for a prize not equal to the pain
a game no one can win
a game I surely couldn't ever leave now
i really wish i hadn't done what i did
but when i think about it
you've never loved anyone
not even yourself

xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Apr 2019
i wish you didn't look at me like that
i wish my friends understood
i wish you would just text me back first
i wish i could drive far away
i wish the lights could hide my scars
i wish you didn't tell me you loved me
i wish for things to change
but some things will never be the same
I had 3 wishes
and I used them all
on you

xoxo
-sunshine
Apr 2019 · 648
stay in my mind
sunshine Apr 2019

only got a month to make this right

only got a moment to kiss you

only have me and you in the room


but he didn't know how to love
he was used to throwing it all away
every single time
but he told her to never leave


just had a phone call with you

just got into your passenger seat

just held your hand and the world disappeared


she knew exactly how to love
but she was so used to being thrown away
every single time
but she told him she wouldn't leave


and we looked into each other's eyes

and I knew I was never gonna leave

and you told me I was the one

stay in my mind
don't go away
I already miss your smile

xoxo
-sunshine
Apr 2019 · 2.6k
from 9 to 5
sunshine Apr 2019
pink
and Gucci
he's got his legs around mine
twisted
and kissing
I have my fingers in his hair
soft
and sunshine
we didn't tell anyone about it
secrets
and Fendi
he's never loved someone like me
chains
and that drip
I told myself I wouldn't get attached
lies
and friends
we're more complicated than we admit
a rap?
possibly
but everything is Gucci lies  


xoxo
-sunshine
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