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Mar 20 · 46
twenty years later...
sunshine Mar 20

I've spent
7,574 days
on this Earth
but it only
took me
1 day
to know
you were
the one

and I just
want to spend
eternity with you



xoxo
-sunshine
Mar 16 · 289
last one on Earth
sunshine Mar 16
empty tables filling the silent
rows on rows taking up time
shadows making conversation
hallways telling gossip
between the rain and the clouds
taking sips from my coffee
wishing it never ended
haunted cracked window panes
spilling fragments of light
reminding me slowly
I'm all alone in this one
we'll be fine
they said but
they were wrong


xoxo
-sunshine
Mar 13 · 93
waiting for...
sunshine Mar 13
taking a photo of us
saving in my mind
waiting till this moment comes back

making a song about us
writing it down here
waiting till you're back with me

clearing off my bed
dusting the furniture
waiting till I can hold you close

time made sure we'd break
distance made sure I'd cry
but I'd never fall out of love with you
careful
silent
whispering


xoxo
-sunshine
Mar 12 · 80
4:17pm
sunshine Mar 12
I don't wanna lose you to something I can't control
don't tell me that you're gonna leave me
don't you dare even walk out that door
I'm keeping you here close to me till death rings its bell
I'll lay with you here until our eyes no longer meet
Even when the world is ending we'll be safe
The winter winds blow in the spring air
We'll be cleansed of all the dark, hollow
with the end
comes the beginning
of something new


xoxo
-sunshine
Mar 3 · 94
memor-ies
sunshine Mar 3
the clouds like dark curtains drawn
trying to hide the warmth of the golden orb
the sky painting secrets like an ocean
tidal waves of emotion pulling me back and forth
praying the lightning strikes where my hands have been
taking deep breaths without thinking
the wind running through my fingers like thread
I am caught in the endless cycle of time
energy of the atmosphere holding me up
and I know you can't hear me anymore
but the air around me doesn't taste like roses
when you left the air began to taste like death
light and dark
calm and aggressive
here and gone


xoxo
-sunshine
Feb 24 · 118
stay with me
sunshine Feb 24
if i catch you in my dreams

would you stay long enough for me to kiss you?

if i happen to fall into your arms

would you hold me closely till i am healed?

if for a moment i can't find you

would you remind me again you're not far?

if i go blind and my heart fails

would you put me in a casket of roses?

if we happened to fall in love

would this daydream between me and you last forever?
for my beau
stay wild
I miss you


xoxo
-sunshine
Feb 11 · 140
midnight strangers
sunshine Feb 11
shadows perform their sword dance playfully
his fingers wrapped in mine like a bow
lights passing on the twilight highway
busy wondering if they are all going home
music toning out the white noise
he puts his hand on my knee through the rips
as if to ground himself from floating away
the weight of the past 4 months slipping
all of it is drifting away when I'm here
caught staring up at the ceiling and wishing
he pulls my chin around to face him
a cool kiss planted on my forehead
here and now my pain is gone because of him
never wanting to leave and praying he stays
falling
deeper
in love


xoxo
-sunshine
Feb 10 · 156
my rose
sunshine Feb 10
felt like this before
felt the waves crashing
footsteps following close behind

I know you're there
to catch me when
I fall more in love with you
hes the moon
my stars
my universe


xoxo
-sunshine
Feb 5 · 337
romance isn't dead
sunshine Feb 5
you're swimming in my dreams
dancing in my thoughts
whenever I close my eyes,
yours are there to replace mine

taking off all your fears
dressing me up with soft words
laying next to me and casting down lies
your soul is mine forever
love notes
love poems
love something


xoxo
-sunshine
Feb 3 · 115
addition
sunshine Feb 3
she was a first-class baby with a first-class *****

he was a first-class liar with a first-class game

put two a two together and you get something really messed up
I don't usually
do this but
just listen


xoxo
-sunshine
Feb 3 · 115
there's a lot more
sunshine Feb 3
there's no balance between
the fine line you made me walk
when you played me
high as a kite, we were just yelling
throwing shade and throwing dishes
she used to catch feelings
but now she's out there catching trains
I know you bought me those heels
but you can't ever get on my level
my head in the clouds
far above the smoke from this party
there's no going back once you're in it
that fine line I made you walk
I played my cards
now there's nothing left on the table
magic words
magic feelings
magic broken


xoxo
-sunshine
Jan 28 · 186
falling for you
sunshine Jan 28
he saw what I couldn't

he loved what I didn't

loving me forever
Jan 28 · 146
2:57pm
sunshine Jan 28
finally found someone
to call my own
to call my home
to call my one

he finally found me
wishing he was whole
wishing he was himself
wishing he was there

finally found myself
knowing I grew up
knowing I glowed up
knowing I gained wisdom

and I'll never let you walk alone
and I'll always be your person baby
and there's no way I can't unlove you
between me and you
i like you
more


xoxo
-sunshine
Jan 28 · 884
my universe
sunshine Jan 28
laid back watching the stars
dreamt you were always here
sticking around longer than the rest
because even if I could forget you
your eyes would never let me go
baby, you don't see what I see
when you're looking so closely
hands tangled over the darkness
we're in this mess together now

when I was watching the moon
you only dreamt only of me
staying close by longer than them
because even when I forgot you
our eyes would never let go
baby, you don't know the half of it
when I'm staring so closely
lips locked over the white noise
we're always gonna be together
i'll keep you
for as long as
I possibly can


xoxo
-sunshine
Jan 28 · 100
No. 32501
sunshine Jan 28
I wrote you a letter
It sounded like a love song
So I burnt it in the fireplace
And decided to buy a shotgun
im back
just for you
listen closely


xoxo
-sunshine
Jan 28 · 244
Definitions
sunshine Jan 28
You
(n.)
The one soul I can’t live without
and makes me smile endlessly
Jan 6 · 118
bedtime stories
sunshine Jan 6
I am not one for long-winded stories

About how you lied and cheated before you ended up in my arms

I simply want to know that you'll never do it again

And if you find yourself at that same crossroads

Between lying and being honest

Well I hope you don't trip over your ego

Choosing between me and your soul
i will tell you
goodbye when this
chapter is over


xoxo
-sunshine
Jan 4 · 371
two truths and a lie
sunshine Jan 4
better is it to follow a path unknown
then to try and go back down one you know too well

better it is to say "I love you"
than to never say it at all and die alone

better is it that you left me broken
then for me to tear myself apart trying to love you
didn't say i was
lying but didn't
say the whole truth


xoxo
-sunshine
Jan 3 · 125
Tell me once more
sunshine Jan 3
People would call me a fool for him
Yet nothing could take me away from my love
He, my painter and muse, who never waivered
Faithfully sipping red wine to the jazzy melodies
He'd sit there and say to me,

"Tell me another story my Rose
Sing to me something sweet and take off my clothes
And when it's all over, kiss me good bye and float to the moon
Don't come back down till the 4th of June"

nothing
but it all
for you


xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Dec 2019
he came crawling

like they always do

when he's drunk

her lipstick shade stuck

to match the lies

he's ignoring the calls

breaking my nails

eating away at me

I'm not a club girl

but he's tattooed

where my heart used to be
another year without
the lies or drugs
or even you


xoxo
-sunshine
Dec 2019 · 139
six questions
sunshine Dec 2019
there's not a lot I know for certain but I know this,
one day you'll end up at my door
one day you'll be standing right there
and I'll ask you six questions:

where have you been?
are you lonely?
where are you going now?
do you even miss me?
why did you choose me?
did you even love me at all?

that first night
was definitely
my last night


xoxo
-sunshine
Dec 2019 · 123
low back baby
sunshine Dec 2019
self-absorbent in the ways
light flashes back on my iridescent skin
the breaking of moments
I'm dealing with indecency, I know
busy thinking of ways
to catch your attention again
the pulling of curtains in a show
we're both rather self-indulgent
creatures of mad habits
the breaking of windows
flames laps at me as I crawl low
whenever you're standing there
well, I'm rather insane
those unthinkable behaviours
rather selfish and cruel calypso
but I'm your favourite drug
like the light is mine
using me again
because I let you
'tis the season


xoxo
-sunshine
Dec 2019 · 120
waited a while for this
sunshine Dec 2019
couldn't explain it then

sure as hell can't explain it now

the million reasons why

the thousand excuses why

I'm always coming back to you
nevermind what
i said when
i was drunk


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 170
thank you, bye
sunshine Nov 2019

and I heard from someone, who heard it from another
tha-...  no... I'm sick and tired of rumors

going away for a bit
be back soon
love you all


xoxo
-sunshine
sunshine Nov 2019
blocked, deleted, trashed, and gone

these are the things so far I've done

to take you out of my life for good

because God only knows just what you did
never sure
always unsure
but I did it anyways


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 119
too good for yourself
sunshine Nov 2019
roses are sometimes red,

violets may occasionally be blue,

but I know that you were

always too good to be true
don't feel guilty
don't act innocent
we're both to blame


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 831
acrylic & ink
sunshine Nov 2019
if feeling could write,

if emotions could paint,

we'd all be drowning

in acrylic and ink
not that you'd
ever read this but
I hope you do


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 103
what you don't know
sunshine Nov 2019
did you know
when you look at me
the way you just did
it made my heart flutter
just to think
just to feel
that someone else
could have been me
lying here with your hands
breathing deeply
waiting for you to break
you may not know
but I do
and it's haunting
what you don't know
won't hurt
it will just burn


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 102
my sailor's song
sunshine Nov 2019
oh but her hallowed voice called me out into the waters
it was where I knew I couldn't stand that I saw him
so I said to my dear sailor, "did you ever hear such a voice?"
her lilac eyes like a jealous sea longing for the return of the Sun
the waves like ropes dragging me further till I see black
he replied with hands of rough,"nay, I see nothing but the stars"
it was then I knew it was a dream; an unsinkable feeling
my sailor's song coming through the fog to the water's edge beside

but he rattled the chains on the deck and hoisted me closer
it was when I heard it again that I dove into the murky waters below
his legs jolting after me while I found myself in her icy embrace
"I've never heard such a song" I replied to the depths
the voice spoke so softly like the grazing seaweed beneath
"come closer and we will show you" they called and so I did
she draped me in pale blue and wrapped her tentacles over me
with the sounds of a thousand crying souls, I became the sea
whenever I find myself
I am without you
endlessly


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 83
paintings from the couch
sunshine Nov 2019
sweet smells of chardonnay whispering
and him waltzing in from the kitchen.
as if Jazz had legs and walked by you
I smiled and he danced towards me.
so I said,

"paint me up a storm Cassanova.
Tell me all your secrets and your lies.
And if you don't come back tomorrow,
least I'll know we had a chance to say goodbye"

living room mess
curled up in a ball
talking like nothing's wrong at all


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 73
the way we both taste
sunshine Nov 2019
she smells like the way rain feels
when it spills across the windshield
driving back home in the middle of
that fight you had back with him and
now you're crying in the club because
nothing ever felt this good before so
you remember the way his lips taste
like honey brown sugar-coated with lies
and everything comes crashing back down
when the rain starts falling again and
then you're sitting on the sidewalk just
wondering when the pain will all go away
she told me to hold it back
he told me to back it up
so I turned around and ****** em


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 834
the ending(s)
sunshine Nov 2019
didn't think I'd
find myself running
out of words to say to you

but every sentence
doesn't even flow it just ends
so when I try to think I'm crying more

wasn't your fault
it's simply because I am so
vastly in love that nothing feels the same
might take a break
sit back and cross my fingers
you don't make me write another poem


xoxo
-sunshine
Nov 2019 · 268
*missed calls*
sunshine Nov 2019
i can hear the rain running its fingertips on the windows again

the music is drowning out the pain between my head and my heart

i just wanted to taste the love and the lust but I couldn't have both

he told me he was getting bored of the conversations

but don't you go around saying what you don't mean baby

i can almost hear what you whispered into my ears

we all know you're worth more than what you even bother to say

the smokescreen from the couch to the bedroom makes me dizzy

i'm one in a million just falling for one out of ten

she told me you were too busy for anyone else

you can almost hear the sound my tears made on your chest

so pass me whatever is in the cup because we're too numb to try

i feel the rain running its fingertips on the window again

and suddenly i don't feel so alone when you're not here
my phone died
my texts didn't send
my heart forgot to not-fall


xoxo
-sunshine
Oct 2019 · 154
when you do, I won't cry
sunshine Oct 2019
so I'm collecting up my tears in a bottle to save them for later
because who knows when you'll make me cry again
and when you do break my heart for the millionth time
I won't have to use any energy crying over all the lies
I'll just spill my bottles of tears on my bedsheets and drink rosé
don't bother crying for me
don't bother calling anymore
the old me doesn't care


xoxo
-sunshine
Oct 2019 · 232
not good at hiding it
sunshine Oct 2019
I wanted you

before the lights dimmed

when I kissed you

garden lovers and dream breakers

he had me in goodbyes

she told you with a drunk call

we're only waiting

our whole lives are a trance

taking your sweet time

me letting things get out of hand

I needed you

before we pulled back the curtains

when you kissed me back

that part of me just knew

I wasn't good at hiding it
shivers down
my spine
and over my skin


xoxo
-sunshine
Oct 2019 · 102
saving my grace
sunshine Oct 2019
so last night when he was off tripping and kissing on some ex-girl

and while I was out sipping on a bottle of something unfamiliar

we still felt the darkness ******* us down when the morning sun rolled its eyes at us
whatever you wanna say
save your breath
you're welcome

xoxo
-sunshine
Oct 2019 · 193
uber baby
sunshine Oct 2019
ran into the wrong dude in the wrong situation

was gonna call you up but you weren't answering

so now I'm in the back of an uber with the lies you told me
get drunk
get wild
break my heart


xoxo
-sunshine
Oct 2019 · 154
be honest with yourself
sunshine Oct 2019
when you're feeling better
when the scars have healed
let me know
when I should turn around
when things look brighter
tell me so
when you're done cheating
when the lies about her stop
say it to me
when the bullsh*t is over
when you wanna tell me the story
I'll be over here
when that times come
when we're finally back in reality
that's when we can finally be
honest with ourselves
going through
a lot more than
i usually do rn


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 177
i can feel it
sunshine Sep 2019
do you know that moment when your heart is sitting in your throat

when your stomach is doing backflips and your breath is shallow

because you know he's hiding something and you know it's there
you're scaring me
you're making me
so ******* nervous


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 143
this is what it is
sunshine Sep 2019
here we are
reading over other people's
heartache,
love,
misery,
wondering if it
ever gets any better
for us
this is it
the final word
black and red


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 358
drunkenly romantic antics
sunshine Sep 2019
with the way you were sitting there in

the moody lighting of that sunken bar

I could have sworn I felt cupid smack me in the face

and in a moment your lips were on mine
it happened back
then and it will
happen again


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 998
you say i'm falling
sunshine Sep 2019
i've never had anyone kiss me the way you did

i've never fallen in love and fallen asleep

but you're one in a million and i wanna stay a while
but you just
had to look at me
and i'm falling


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 163
8:39am
sunshine Sep 2019
it creeps up like black water lapping at my ankles

when the salty air runs its thin fingers over my shoulders

and I turn to find myself in the midst of the heavens

touching earth, breathlessly taking me down without a word
its early
i'm awake
without you


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 208
not gonna cry
sunshine Sep 2019
it's an odd feeling to watch your best friend

get on a plane and fly off to another world

its three years but I'm keeping my Monday tradition
it ***** when you
lose someone but
they're not actually gone


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 227
my love of the spider's web
sunshine Sep 2019
I trace and lace my fingers
through your webbed back
and I watch the lies spin
silky threads around and
drip down my arms till
I feel submerged in the
pool of black water and I
look up to the pin-pointed
sky but my heart sinks
heavy back into the web
that you once entrapped me
and I begin to wonder
where have you been?
when was the last time
someone truly loved you?
light the darkness
cut me down
love me never


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 237
frag-ments
sunshine Sep 2019
forget me
or not
whichever you decide
i'm waiting
at the edge of the dock
ran out
of sympathy
for you


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 172
worthy of a thousand words
sunshine Sep 2019
by now I think I could write

several books about you

and how many times you've ******* me over

but writing about you isn't worth my time
pages on pages
of many nights
shedding tears to fill my soul


xoxo
-sunshine
Sep 2019 · 447
angel eyes
sunshine Sep 2019
and I swear the angels envy you

because your eyes look like

God pulled down galaxies and put them in yours
she cries
stars and diamonds
glisteningly sad


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 265
see me this way
sunshine Aug 2019
rose hips
curvy lil baby
her smile
the way she laughs
nothing ever compares
she drives you crazy
mentally unstable
busy lil heartbreaker
a magnet on my heart
never enough
her eyes
blue waves
the way she sleeps
hair all over her face
hands between yours
totally in love
like a bird in a cage
you freed her
soaring in love together
its always been you
even when i hate you
ill find my way back


xoxo
-sunshine
Aug 2019 · 172
he's one of them
sunshine Aug 2019
that song still is playing, as your hands hold me

and i know i'll never be able to dance to it

cause when i was in that moment

i finally saw what it was like to fall in love with the devil
i ******* loved you
but maybe
i ******* can't have you


xoxo
-sunshine
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