Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Olivia Greene Nov 2014
I’m simply saddened by the thought i could’ve written thousands of love poems if you would’ve let me look at you longer
Olivia Greene Nov 2014
Dear 13 year old me,
You are no longer sitting in your bathroom imagining your life as an 18 year old.
Instead,  you are 18 sitting in your dorm room.
Did you imagine it like this?
This is a reminder that in 5 years you dyed your hair 5 different  colors,
lost friends you thought would be with you always,
and started University 8 hours from your hometown.
Within those short 5 years you managed to hurt your family repeatedly,
and then attempt to fix what you'd broken.
you discovered your passions, learned a few things about love, and
often times forgot to speak your mind.
When you read this next you may be 20, or 31.
You will think differently at that time, God I hope you do.
Widen your horizons, your perspective.
Please travel, and love even if you don't know how;
imagine things again. Don't be scared but take precautions.
Try and love your family. Please try,
for me.
Dye your hair, pierce things without letting your mom see.
And just please, please try to be happy.
Olivia Greene Nov 2014
there's a reason  he chooses to drink while on medication for anxiety.
there's a reason she shuts herself away, hiding the bruises and cuts she considers part of her repertoire.
there's a sadness there,
a different kind of sad.
one that can't be healed through compromise or benevolence.
it's easy to become lost, compromised within this sadness' depths.
you may think you've escaped its clutch but it's always there.
lurking.
ready to take you.
Olivia Greene Oct 2014
I'm sorry I pierced a hole in my ear you think symbolizes defiance
I'm sorry my hair isn't the blonde I was born with and kept for 18 years
I'm sorry I cried when I first dyed my hair because I had never truly loved myself before that moment
I'm sorry I hid in my bathroom and turned on the shower so you wouldn't hear me gasping for breath, while trying to stay indestructible
I'm sorry I never forgave you for making me feel the need to hide.
I'm sorry for embarrassing you in front of your friends because the shirt on my back and the shorts on my waist were a shade too dark and my hair a shade too bright.
I'm sorry I made you late to important functions because I was busy adding another layer to my already hardened face
I'm sorry you think I don't understand and maybe never will.
I'm sorry you thought I'd get better when I turned 14, then 15, and 16.
And then came home at 18 and made you cry.
I'm sorry I didn't impress anyone with my ACT score and am unsuccessful at math.
I'm sorry for blaming you for my insecurities and my lack of emotion at the dinner table.
I'm sorry for becoming so accustomed to being told "to shut up" I stopped sharing my life with strangers.
I'm sorry I remember more good than bad sometimes and I got hurt.
I'm sorry I felt the need to hurt you back.
I won't ever be what I'm supposed to.
I won't be the most intelligent or charismatic person in the room.
I'll keep trying but
I'm sorry I'm me.
Olivia Greene Oct 2014
we live in a place where the streets are consistently renewed with black tar and the people smell as comfortable as they live.
there are soft clean-cut beds as well unkept lawns
people hardly dare venture into for fear of revelation.
an entirely new sense of being and worth can be
renewed from a walk between the skyscrapers.
life is hardly disrupted unless the upheaval is directed towards a reckless teenager in search of a great thrill.
Olivia Greene Oct 2014
you are a four dimensional box
i memorize every edge and line and yet, I still get lost in your doors the second I enter your maze of a mind.
the transparent colors that seem to
transfix to the walls mystify and astound me at every turn.
i know everything and then I take one step closer and all
knowledge glides to the floor in one fowl swoop.
and yet, I welcome it.
the heavy enticements pull me in with such graceful force,
I could hardly imagine not greeting the boxes
and falling in
Olivia Greene Oct 2014
I was more comfortable when you took off my shirt and unhooked my bra than I was when you innocently put your arms around me.
It made more sense to close my eyes and kiss your neck than it did for me to look at you with clear, sober eyes.
But of course, I only moved closer to you when the lights turned off.
Next page