Ying and yang
Wild and tame
Desert and rain
Curvy and framed
Opposites
but I'll always
love you
the same

I miss being cold from my head to my soul;
I want to be ****** back in to the dark hole
I found comfort in for years.
I long for the feeling of lack of touch; hungry for the deprevation of human contact.
So please listen when
I wish to be ignored,
I pray to be unloved
and I beg to be forgotten.
Because that's where I feel
most at home.

I think about other men
while laying cold next to you
not because I don't love you
but because you don't touch me

It's okay
It's okay
Someone will love you deeply
One day
But until then
Lonely with him
You will stay
Until you gain the strength
To turn the other way
Because you know the love you need
To keep your soul at bay
And anything less
Isn't a price you should pay

I have this RAGE burning in me
that I can no longer hide
You make me feel so worthless
that daily I pray
that I die
because I can't stand your face
your stupid ******* hair
and smile so wide
but you wont let me leave
for a year now, I've tried
so please, sweet souls
that reside in the sky
take me up there with you
for every night that I cry
I am drained of hope
as I let out an exhausted sigh
I'll be waiting for my turn
As I am ready to say goodbye

loving you feels like
I am always at a party;
contrasting and exciting
but it is obvious - my lack of appeal;
anxious and lonely

I warned you
But you were confident
You'd be able to handle the ride
Because I am the face of truth
I do not tell lies
I bare every emotion on my flesh
I have nothing to hide
And nothing scares a man more
Eyes so wide
Than a woman so real
Due to his ego and pride
So run terrified man
Your lack of strength
You cannot hide
Like all the others
Lie to yourself
Say that you tried
For I am alone again
And I'm sure many tears
Will be cried
Until the next one approaches
Uncowardly
With arms open so wide
Until my passion
Also leaves him terrified

My heart is so full
there's warmth crawling up my spine!
You're holding on tight;
it's truly sublime,
the heat starting to rise
as we lay intertwined.
At first so scared
but it's different this time.
You're grazing my chin
thighs
waistline
with words so gentle
and kisses so fine
yet so robust
your hands
and jawline;
a perfect design.
The days I lay cold,
dark and controlled,
I choose to resign.
For you, the calm lake,
and I, the fickle skyline;
opposing elements
that are perfectly aligned
but also a contrast
that is beyond the divine
for I am relieved
I get to call you mine.

I'm crying out for help
But I'm invisible
My pleas are going unnoticed
I need reassurance
So instead, I scream
While flailing my arms
In a dance on the edge of death
No one is watching my performance
So I decide to wail
Sweat is dripping down my face
As I beg for someone to hear my pain
My soul is aching and I need help
Please someone rescue me
You will feel guilt
When you realize I was begging
And you turned a blind eye
But by then
It will be too late

*******
It's cold down here 
You're pulling me down so deep
I'm terrified of the monsters that reside
in your depth
but the cold, while descending to the bottom,
is so refreshing

It's dark down here
I need to swim up for air
but my muscles are tightening
and I'm so scared
It's darker than velvet
I sense slight movement
indicating there is still life
in even the most deadliest of places

I'm known for wading
lingering on the surface
so this is further than I ever wanted to dive
But as my heart rate is slowing
I am becoming comfortable
with the frigid grasp
that I have been avoiding for years

It's cold
Please, just let me swim up
for one last breath
to feel the sun's warmth
one last time
before I try accept that this is
the right decision

I'm so scared.

it started at five
I tried and I tried
I did not understand
why people wanted me to die
my mother
the others
taunting me
haunting me
I was curious
red and shy
full of hope
I would harm no fly
please, just tell me
why,
why?!

next thing I know
its junior high
this is the time
where we all have to try
god forbid
you don't fit in
don't show weakness
don't let them see you cry
the taunting
the haunting
on your back
a bullseye
spoke of being a friend
in a week
you're alone to mend
hope for the future
is running dry
people questioning
why I'm still choosing
to be alive

highschool was a mess
so college will be my high
a phrase I told myself
unknowingly full of lies
again and again,
I try to make friends,
at first full of grace
then evil behind their eye
taunting
haunting
I will never escape
why, why
do people push me to die

now I'm twenty-five
and I let out a painful sigh
there is nothing left
I am drained
of all emotional supplies
who I call "friends"
wasting my time
it worked, everybody!
all your taunting
all your haunting
it worked,
because here I am
just praying that I die

I don't wear my heart on my sleeve
Oh no
I wear my sorrow in my eyes

how cold I have become
to even the faintest of touches

I feel nothing
when gazed upon
I am numb
when talked to
I feel empty
when admired

will someone have the heat
to restart a fire in my soul
or am I as frozen as permafrost