i hope for forgiveness
for thinking you've heard
"your eyes read like sonnets
and i so love the words"
one too many times, like there's a limit
to my revelation of your beauty
you look more lovely, i implore
today than any day before
i don't know when my heart ran cold
and tenderness receded
the day and place my hardened soul
had all your warmth defeated
but i do know it is deep-rooted
followed by a laugh so sly
as to to hide the pain i inflict
from my cold and glazed eyes
while yours, no longer dry
warm and welcoming
why do you put up with me?
is it because you see something
that i don't see?
a heart that beats but does not feel
a tear that wells but never falls
you see beyond my frigid glare
and sympathize with concrete walls
i have hurt you deeply
my wit has been my sword
charm has been my spear
this vagueness has been
my lasting shield
yet you have loved me and
a cold-hearted mess
i'm sick of being a broken toy/
perhaps i belong to the dump.
perhaps amongst the dead.
it's almost like we
glow in every moment now
i feel like we're stars
i didn't think i had the ability to ponder possibility anymore. but here i am, laying in bed, thinking of the future. i want to offer you, and only you, forever. however long forever lasts, (i wouldn't know i've never been) you can have mine.
we're floating in air
our feet never touch the ground
my heart knows the way
split into a better person i want to empty my veins and give you all i've got. i want you to see that time is endless. with you, i am suspended in time. although, we could have every day for the rest of our lives, but that still wouldn't be enough for me. i want eternity- is that too much?
i want careful love
but i also want to be reckless
i'll blossom for you
you say that you don't want to leave me, so you want to go, in two years to college in-state. i love that i'm someone that you want to change the path you take for. two years is a long time from now though and i'm scared we're too young to plan that far ahead. i'm scared of everything these days.
i'm afraid your mind
will change the moment my eyes
are closed - scared to blink
sometimes i imagine how life will be
when you move off to new york.
will you be brighter
without me to dim you?
i see you bustling
about the big city, following your
dreams up there
while i'm chasing mine
in this nowhere town with its
roots buried in the past
and its leaves curving downward.
how do i know that your ever-beating heart
will race it's way back to mine?
you will be up there
with the honey coloured streetlights
and the streets bursting with so many lives,
that they tell their own story.
i'll be down here with the honey suckle bushes
and the pale white lights in the sky
staring down at me.
my hand will stretch for something to hold it
my lips looking for someone to kiss
my body bracing itself for the embrace
that never comes
and always goes,
you will always go
and lying alone
that you remember
you'll find me on the corner of the street,
where you first said,"'hey, what's your name again?"
if you found me alone where'd you want to be?
it'll all change but i'd still be the way that i was when we were young
and in love and free.