I remember seventh grade
When life was wisping by
I remember how full my
Heart was
And how naive I was
I remember the fall leaves
Slowly dancing around us
Falling,Falling
I remember how
Peaceful it all was
And I remember how
Hard I'd scream and laugh
Whenever you gave me those hugs
Those amazing hugs
As though I was wrapped
In a snuggly cocoon
I remember how fun it was
To be your best friend
And how I loved you more
Each and every day
I remember our snowball fights
And how we laughed
I remember that mound of snow
And how I felt a spark when
Our faces neared and
Our eyes lingered
I remember running to your arms
With my declaration of love
And my acceptance to the idea of us
I remember the rain just two days after
The most beautiful drizzle
I have ever seen
And I remember running my hand
Across that pipe
Smiling knowing what was coming
It wasn't just my stomach with butterflies
It was all of me from head to toe
I remember sitting on the step facing you
And how a tap kiss scared me
And more made me jump back
And the most romantic thing
I'll ever know
Is when I said I couldn't out of fear
And you whispered "I know"
As you slid closer and kissed me
So passionately
I remember you and I
Falling in love
I didn't let you go
Because on that day
On all those days
You proved to me you,
You were worth fighting for
Your always worth fighting for.

I dream of our bodies bare...Together  uniting as one in so many perfect moments....I imagine you gently kissing me....I imagine our passion soaring in quantity.....I imagine you loving me...I imagine us saying each others names repeatedly...I imagine yelping of how I love you...I imagine us together in perfect unison...But It's only a dream...And I have to wake up....

I'm not over you,
But this feeling isn't for you,
My love isn't for your heart,
It's for our memories,
The memories you so gleefully deny,
But I made myself remember,
I thought we could've been forever,
But after all my hopping I'm left with only a broken heart,
I'm so confused
You said you loved me,
And now your saying you never did,
Did I do something wrong?
You kissed me,
and now you won't even hug me
Did I make a mistake?
You use to be my best friend,
and now your a stranger avoiding me in the street,
Why?!
I'm sorry if I did something wrong,
But I guess there is not use for pleading,
No use for wishing,
Because now everything that was is gone,
I spent so much time stuck on you,
And now you make me feel like it was all wasted,
I just wish you understood.
I Just Miss Who You Use To Be.

I woke up with
Aching lungs
That dreadfully
Keep contracting
And my eyes
Fill with the pain
Shedding drops of love
Uncaught and missing you
You can't go baby
I can't lose you
This distance
Is already too much
This time I dont even
Get a goodbye kiss
Just a hospital bed
With giving doctors telling me
I'm dying of heartbreak
And my claws
Never dragging me closer
To your comfort
Oh how I need you
Dont leave me.

I knew
The moment
Our eyes met
I'd fall
Madly in
Love with you
Oh how right
I was
To remember
My fear then
Is nothing
Compared to this
My terror to imagine
You leaving
My life
Again
My horror
At the thought
That you can
Break my heart
Again
And again
And I'd
Still
Want you.

I'll be right there for you when your life is falling apart,
Just like you were there when my world was,
I'll be right there for you to make you smile after you've cried,
Just like you did for me,
I will be right there loving you when you think you are unlovable,
Just like you loved me when I thought that too,
I be right there for you to hug you and make the darkness fade for a few moments,
Just like when you hugged me and made my dark days fade,
I will be right there for you to kiss you and make your confidence soar,
Just like when you kissed me and made me feel confident for one of the first times in my life,
I will be right there for you through it all,
Just like you've been there for me.

I'll love you until the day My soul no longer lingers...
The day yours has faded away...
I'll love you until the stars die and there are no more planets...
I'll love you until the day goes dark and the night gets bright....
I'll love you until nothing is left in the universe...
I'll love you until forever is over...
I'll love you now as I will in the future...
I'll love you until I die as well as you do...
I'll love you until everything living or dead is gone....
And only our essence lingers...
I'll love always no matter what is changed or what is altered...
As long as you stay true to yourself I promise to always love you...

The truth is
I could never
Love someone
If they didn't
Know about
My past
I could never
Be happy with
Someone who
Doesn't know
The facts
Because if they
Don't know
Who I was
If they can't
Accept what I've done
Or been through
How can they accept me
As I am

I'll try to act strong when you look my way,
I'll try to act strong when I know nothing is okay,
I'll try to act strong so you won't see me cry,
I'll try to act strong so The days quickly pass by,
I'll try to act strong when you fall for another,
I'll try to act strong and say there is some other,
I'll try act strong when you talk to me,
I'll try to act strong and only dream of what could be,
I'll try to act strong and try to forget loving you,
I'll try to act strong and maybe try shoving you,
I'll try to act strong to make the pain fade away,
But still the dark days seem to stay.

I will admit
Here and now
That his touch
It leaves me
On cloud nine
My body sore
From such pleasure
Yet that is not all
Not all that I love
Believe me please
I love him
For that fumble
That happens
When he says he loves me
I love him
For the way he makes me smile
The way he makes me laugh
The way I can read him
And he can see everything
Beneath my surface
I love him
For the light kisses
And the rough ones
I love him
For his kindness
His care
I love him
Because I always knew I would
My heart
It's been his
Since the day he
First looked me in the eyes.

I love you
I love you
Never forget me
Never forget me
And how
I love you
I love you
More than anyone
Ever could
Or ever will
*I love you

I love you
And I already miss you
And your kiss
Sweet and meaningful
I miss the strength your presence gave me
I miss your hugs
And holding hands
And being tickled
I miss rubbing your stubble
I love you
So I'll always be here
Always be true to you
But it'll hurt everyday your away
But our love is undying and true
So I know it can make it through
I love you
So I know you and me
We'll have our happiness
Our marriage and child
Our whole life
Together
I love you
And that will never change.

Maybe
Somewhere deep
Within my eroded
Soul
I believe
I am
Beautiful.

"I love you"

Words that make me soar,

Though I know they aren't true

I respond untruthfully with an

"I love you too"

I watched
A short video
And it
Made me
Want to
Go to
Heaven
It made me
See that
You were
Right
In thowing me
In the ocean
So maybe now
I should
Just read
The Bible
And pray
Because
Even if you
Ignore me
God won't.

I get so
Happy
When I
Talk about
Marrying him
And the life we could
Live together
But then we fight
And A fear arises
Perhaps he and I won't suceed
For young love dies fast
But still I want it to last
I've been praying on my knees
Since day one
And hope has yet
To die.

I want to hide because I'm afraid.I'm afraid to get close to someone.I'm afraid they'll leave me.I'm afraid of myself and I'm afraid to think of myself as anything but worthless because if I don't I'm afraid someone's just going to knock me down...

I had a dream last night
                                          




            ­                                                    I lost you

You ended us


                                                          Al­l I know is I broke

Knowing there could never be

                                                           Another you and me

I couldn't  do anything

                                              To escape from the nightmare

Except wake up

                               Because I can't even live in dreams


If I don't have you.

As sleep
Takes me
Into its depth
I'll dream of you
Hoping everything
Will be alright.

Sometimes
I lie in bed
And imagine
That your
Lying beside me
And I seem
To drift off into
Blissful sleep.

I was a foolish girl
To once believe you'd stay

I was silly
To believe it when you said
" I will marry you one day"

Here lie my remains
Such a broken soul without you

Without you my soul
No longer feels complete
My life is shattering

All stability lost
I'm circling the end
For there is no life if there is no you

You beg that I stay
Keep loving you
You promise to.come.back
To marry me one day
But I don't know if its a chance
Such a foolish
Such a silly girl
Can take again.

I'm hoping our memories will one day mean nothing to me,
But I know they already mean nothing to you,
I'm hoping one day I really won't love you anymore,
But I know you already stopped loving me,
I'm hoping one day I won't daydream about confiding in you,
I'm hoping one day the tears I cry won't be for you,
I'm hoping one day I can say I let go and actually mean it,
I hate loving you and I hope one day I won't.
Loving you is like loving Satan
Except I think it hurts more loving you.

I miss laughing with you,
I miss talking to you,
I miss staring at you,
I miss your voice,
I miss your eyes,
I miss your hug,
I miss your kiss,
I miss your touch,
I miss,being loved by you...

I miss the people I once knew.
I miss the friends I once had.
And I miss the people I once loved.

I miss us,the way we once were,together,happy for a while,then the world around us decided our time was up.I didn't want it to end,I cherished each moment with you,still you and I are no long and "us" or a "we" Now it's just you and me.

I broke down today
And I don't know if I should smile
Because I didn't cut myself
Or cry some more
Because it's been so long
Since I broke down.

Your smile
It helps my heart
Beat
And somehow
Your hapiness
Makes breathing
easier.

I'm just some girl,
A girl that might pass by and not even cross your mind,
I'm just some girl,
A girl that might not be perfect but wishes she was,
I'm just some girl,
You may never know me but my whole life something has been missing,
I use to think it was happiness,
But I have it for now,
But what I want more than anything,
What I've always wanted,
Is just love,
To love and be loved.

I'm lying to myself saying My heart doesn't ache at seeing your name...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't need you anymore...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't want you...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't miss you...
I'm lying to myself saying I'm glad we won't see each other again...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't dream of you...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't cry over you...
I'm lying to myself saying I don't still love you...
Because Inside I know the truth...My heart does ache every time I see your name,I do need you,I do want you,I do miss you,I'm sad we won't see each other again,I do dream of you,I do cry over you,I do still love you...I always have and I think I always will

I feel so useless
Feel like life has evaporated because
Someone left me out to long
I feel as though the shadows move
They watch me
Follow my steps in wait
I may be collapsing but
There resides a last bit of strength
And I don't give up
Not easily.

The last few days
Have been strange
I haven't been eating
My emotions
And I always have

I am NOT
A thin girl
Nor medium sized
And I can't help that
But this is odd

Nausea replacing my
Urge to eat away
The stress or sorrow
A rumbling in my stomach
Screaming
Please no food

I'm a eater
My mother and father too
So why have I not been hungry

I've been thinking about
Dieting soon
Could this be my
Subconscious saying
You don't have to
I'll take care of that for you

I'm mystified
Usually I drink endlessly
Always thirsty
And always drinking more
Than anyone else
And yet I felt less thrist
In these last days
Completely ignored the full cup
Even when my mouth was dry
A sip would satisfy

Somethings wrong
But I'm not gonna ask
It's okay not to eat
At least not like I use to

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise
I just hope everything turns out okay.

No longer
Will the moon
Bare my name
Only Victory.

When you
Were with her
It was my final draw
I had reason for hate
My anger grew
Pain ached in my chest
And I ignored it
Because caring about
You and her
Would've been
Admitting I still cared.


*Now I know I did

Sometimes we're in a rush

In a rush to find love again
To be loved right this time around

Sometimes we're in such a rush
We fail to realize that rushing
Will only get us false love
False happiness

It is in our patience
When we are most rewarded

I am patient now
Awaiting fresh kisses
And sweet I love you's
As I drift to sleep.

I hate
The distance
Feels
Like
We're worlds
Apart
And I can't
Find my way home
I miss you
And it hurts
I need you
I worry
When your not
Here to comfort me
I can't wait
To be in your arms again.

I was empty handed,
And yet my heart full,
They didn't see,
They we're blinded,
To consumed,
To distracted,
They came first,
I came last,
They wore masks,
I just hid,
We were impostors,
But they played,
And they won,
I always lost,
They we're fools,
Their vision
Non-exsistent,
As was I
On days I cried,
They never
Stopped me,
They let me hurt,
Let me injure myself,
And before long
I was just scars,
Proof of how
Little the world cared,
Before I died
They didn't know,
They didn't know me,
Or my pain,
Or my tears,
Or even my scars,
They knew the impostor.

I'm so scared,scared I truly love you.
I never fought so hard for someone.
I want you forever and always.
I'm scared of being hurt.
The last time I fell in love he destroyed me.
This is different though I just want you.
You healed what everyone else broke.
I didn't realize it but you fixed my broken heart.
I never even asked you just got up and put the piece back together again.

I'm scared to love you.Those words they surround me.Its all I can think of.
I'm scared to love you.Because I'm scared of the pain.Scared you'll break me like I've been broken before.I'm scared our memories will never fade.
I'm scared of loving because I'm scared that you'll never love me back.
Being scared seems easier than being hurt.So for now I'm gonna put up a wall surrounding my heart and hope you never break in...Or maybe I hope you do...And I hope you'll stay...

I know
Your hurting
And your all messed up
Your thoughts scattered
Only knowing
The kind of person
You want me to be
Avoiding who I am
Not seeing
How clearly your hurting me
And blinded
To how hard I'm fighting
To stay
Because my heart begs
Pleading that I've fought to hard
And far too long to quit now
But I know this will become
Our undoing
For you
Despite what you say
Only accept me
But if you really loved me
You'd accept who I'm not.

Your wrong
Seeing your on and off again
Boyfriend once a week
Is nothing compared
To what it'll feel like for me
And it doesn't matter
That I've lived without him before
Those two years were the most
Excruciating years of my life
I cried myself to sleep endlessly
And I was drenched in my own blood
I was weak then
And my love was beyond the human capacity
So seeing him once in a while now
It won't be easy
But it's better than having a gaping hole
Where your heart once was
And I know you haven't been without
But I have
And let me say
Two months is so much better
Than two years
At least your heart won't be left
Wondering,hoping,dreaming
At least now
Each day will be a step closer until you meet again
At least this time
There will be a return.