I like to look
At the pictures of us
So I can see
Your smiling face
So that I can see
Us
Together
I like seeing those
Pictures because
When your away
I still get to see you
I can still see how amazing
You look
And remind myself
Your heart is even
More amazing
I love looking at those pictures
Because I remember
I was happy and giggling
When you took them
I love those pictures
Because they're the
Very beginning
Of our history as a couple.

I love you
You make
A part
Of my sad soul
Finally brighten
And see the light.

I wish
You were here
To hold my hand
And tell me
Everything
Will be okay
Because without you
I'm not sure I believe it
When I tell myself.

I love you so much
I cry

I cry because
I care

I miss you too
And I cry

Because I
Love you with such intensity

And those tears aren't
Always of sorrow

Sometimes it's
Because the love I feel

Sometimes overwhelms me
Sometimes I cry

Because you
Just make me so happy.

Know here
And now
I love you
With all that
I am
And ever have been
I hope you see
That you mean
Everything to me.

I wish
He understood
Just how much
I love him
How much he means
I wish he didn't
Feel distance
In my love
Because that's
As close
As we can be for now
I wish he could
Comprehend
That he
Is my everything.

I'm going to cry
Ready
To break
Can't
Explain
These emotions
But I know
You sure
Would be
Helpful right now.

I'm falling apart
Your halfway across town
And I'm breaking
Something feels off
And I feel weak
I miss you
And it's worse
Than it has been before
I don't know what I'm doing anymore
But I know I need you
To make me smile
Laugh
Hold me
So I can feel loved
I wish you were here
To kiss me
Tell me you love me
I miss you
And I'm a mess
Will you come
And hold me
If only in my dreams
If only for a moment
It's all I need.

I was scared
We we're talking about
What-if's
And those
Can be pretty scary
My mind
It fluttered
And the image
Later emerged
The test came out positive
We were gonna be parents
But we're too young
My body aches
From the baby
And the fear
I can't tell
I cannot
Successfully
Finish school
Go to college
Raise this little baby
Cannot afford it neither
If you stay
You'll flunk
Find some ****** job
We'll be in a rough spot
And it won't change
The only
Good thing
Is we might be able
To marry sooner
But your mom will
Kick you out
My mom
Call me *****
But come to accept it
I know she'll cry herself
To sleep so many nights
So will I
But before I tell
I'd cut
My arms
So ruined
****** and scarred
My mom will bring me
Back to the hospital
And she'll ask
Why
Why did I do this
And I whisper
I'm pregnant
And I'll watch
As she realizes
How much
I just ****** up my life
Things get better
I guess
I'm behind in school
You got your GED
I come home each day
And watch our child
Knowing
I won't see you until
After work
We'll save up
And leave
Start our life
But it won't be easy
I don't know if we'll survive
But I know I need you
Who else would hold me
When I cry
Or when I break
Who else would stay up
To help with our kid
Our life was influenced
By passion
And I know
You'll tell me
It was Gods plan
His gift to us
But I'll just whisper
Haven't we had enough?
Haven't we endured enough hardships?
I already knew
We were meant to be
He didn't need to do this too
Nonetheless we go on
Lower class
But getting by
We're always in love
But sometimes I think
It's only because our child
We make it through
Because life
Knew
We were strong enough
For even this
No matter how scary it was.
What-ifs are scary
I just hope they
Don't come true.

I feel like her
That mutant girl
Who was
Intoxicated
By everything
That involved
The very essence of you
You see
I wake up
With an aching
Missing you
Hoping to see you
Hear your voice
See your words
Oh how I
Would give anything
For some sign of
Your existence
I go through my day
Bored and hopeful
Searching for you
Hoping that every
Phone call is yours
Or every noise outside is
You calling me to be by your side
I fall asleep
Wishing
I could be lulled
By your voice
Whispering
Good-night
Or something
Sweeter
Like an I love you
I feel like her
That monster that
Drove you away
And I'm afraid if I
Let on how badly
I need you
Or how scary things are
That you'll feel pressured
To stay
Which will
Make you want
To go away
I'm afraid of who I was
I can't handle this mutant girl
She's needy
Most when there
Is no one to help
And she falls apart
Pull one string too hard
And her whole structure
May collapse
I don't want to seem
Obsessive
I'm fine, I swear
*I swear

This waiting
Is a retching
Agony
Eating away
At my insides.

Millions of words
Cannot express it
My words
The sweet
And passionate ones
They are nothing
Compared
To the feeling
In my chest
When you tell me
You love me
Nothing
Can ever truly
Express my happiness
With you
Oh my love
Each time you
And I talk
About our life
Together
I know we
Really were made
For each other.

I hate
The distance
Feels
Like
We're worlds
Apart
And I can't
Find my way home
I miss you
And it hurts
I need you
I worry
When your not
Here to comfort me
I can't wait
To be in your arms again.

Without you
I feel lonely
Afraid
I cannot
Face these
Battles alone
I need you
By my side.

Home for me

Has become

That place

On your chest

Where I sometimes

Rest my head

Home has become

You

The arms that hold me

The lips that melt into mine

The hand that holds onto my hand

The heart that has finally made

Love worth the fight

You my love

Have become home.

Rejoice

In the sweet

Reunion,

Oh how

I missed you.

I

Can say

A lot

About my

Father

But why

Should I waste

My time

My words

And my effort

On a man

Who only makes

My life

Harder.

I never

Believed in

Forever

But maybe

He'll prove me

Wrong.

It's cold here

I'm cold here

Where are you

My King

I need you

Your warmth is

Unbeatable.

Even when
Things weren't
Easy between
You and me
I stayed
Because
You never
Give up
One someone
That you love.

No one could
Ever love
The story
Of us
Like I do.

I'm always

              Getting lost
                                        When your not
                                                                      
                                                                          Here with me.

My mother said
It's not a real proposal
Unless he gets down on one knee
I rolled my eyes
And thought
**All that matters
Is that the look in his eyes
When he asks
And seeing
It's not fear but hope
And believing
You see joy instead of sorrow
Trying to look past his eyes
And looking into that beautiful soul
And if your lucky
Seeing how much he loves you.

I'm Always Surprised
When You Kiss Me
Because It Always Feels
**Amazing.

I miss you
I know it sounds
Sad and desperate
But *I miss you
Your not here
To hold me
And your not here
To kiss me as though
Your kissing away
All the pain I've ever felt
Your not here
And I know it's not your fault
But *I miss you.

I know I'll be okay,
As long as your **Mine

These chains
They hold me down
They're keeping me away
From you
Everything that
My life needs
Is out there
Away from these
Walls
That hold me back
I wait anxiously
For the metal to rust
And break
So I am freed
And my soul
Can once again feel alive.

I'm going off the deep
                                      E
                    ­                     N
                                              D



            ­                                                     *Will You Save Me?

I want honesty
Brutal
And never ending

No more
No it's nothing's
No more
Forget it's
No more
Hiding
No more
Secrets.

Knowing
Your sweet
And gentle
Heart
Has loved before
Will always
Ache
Always sever
A small part inside of me
But I can't change it
I can't say I hate you
Because I love you
And you know
I've done worse
Than just love
I've tried so hard
To erase the past
And not let
Curiosity
Eat away at me
But the algae of jealousy
And the atoms
Of our past
Come back to haunt us.

You cannot
Deny the facts
You've loved before
*You will love again.

I love you
And I say it
With sincerity
I miss you when
Your gone
And I love it
When your near
Secretly
My heart hates
All these other girls
The ones who cry on you
Because I like to do that when I'm sad
The ones who get to laugh with you
Because I envy the way they make you happy
But I am silent
Of my jealousy
So you don't think
I'm that crazy obsessive girl
Who once tried so hard
To cling to you
Like a magnet to metal
I want you
I want the rest of my life
To be spent with you
Always
Because no matter
The people
Who want us
All that matters
Is that we only want each other.

Maybe
Somewhere deep
Within my eroded
Soul
I believe
I am
Beautiful.

I'm smiling
As the image comes
Into play



I'm crawling into
A bed
Pajamas and all
Pulling back covers
And I turn to see
You looking at me
Watching me
Smiling
And I laugh
Because I know
Tomorrow
I'll be waking up
Cuddled
Into you
My hair
In crazy curls
And everything
Seems
Perfect
We're content
And joyful
Because this is
The first of many
Memorable nights
We'll spend
Together.


**I'm smiling.

Curiosity
Is not
Always
A good thing
And Appreciation
Is more important
Than you think.

Today
After all
Was done
I wanted
Desperately
To lay with you
Just as we were.

*If only we had time

It's a battle
We always fight
Because when
Sorrow
Enters
Even for a mere moment
We race back
To our blades
Our pins and knives
We crave it
The urges so hard to resist
We'll suffer the rest
Of our lives
Fighting
To say
I'm stronger
Than a cut
Better than a burn
And yet
Our scars are proof
Of failures
Weakness
Our battle is never over
We fight each time
We're upset
Each argument
Each tear
Each moment of negativity
We battle
And I just hope
I am
Stronger
Than the pain.

Friends
Kiss friends
On the cheek
Especially on
Valentines day.

When affection
Was bred from
Those innocent looks
The first thing
I could muster was
I'm with him
And that is not
Going to change
And I meant it.

Know right here
And right now
I would
NEVER
Risk all we have
I wouldn't
Put our love
Our future
Our life
On the line
For a friend
With a pesky crush.