I have so much to say
But the words blur
With the memories
And I am left with
Pent up
Unexpressed
Feelings
Words
Emotions


This is unfair.

I love our story

It hurt sometimes

But we've collided again and again

Reached bliss

And we still fight off evil

For evil cannot be destroyed

Only change it's form

But our love

It prospers

It is stronger than anyones

Tomfoolery

We are meant to be

Some are just to blind by evil and hate to see.

I whispered
Everything would be alright
You shrugged your shoulders

I tried to tell you calm down
It's okay this will pass
You looked right past me
Your eyes glazed with your
Rage and frustration

I tried to distract you
Make you smile
Make you laugh
Send relief into your soul
And you frowned
And apologized

You went searching
Because I wasn't there
I had vanished
And you needed me
I left
As I was helping you
I was losing another bit of strength
I sacrificed for you
And you hardly noticed
So I left
I left
Breaking myself
So that I could try to save us both.

I've always been best at rebellion
Secret rebellion my most acomplished
I've always been best at standing out
And never blending in
Somehow fading into the background
While sticking out like a nail
I've learned to be original
There isn't a copy of me anywhere
I'm unique
And while I don't always love
My strange or weird tendencies
They make me feel stronger
Prouder
As though I finally have somthing worth fighting for
And I'm not doing it for attention
I'm doing it all because it is who I am
Strange as it seems
I like being me
And even though it gets lonely sometimes
Every once in a while I come across someone that
Has pride and originality
Someone that doesn't care
And who's weirdness
Matches mine
And then I laugh
Because I know not everyone
Has become a follower.

I've been thinking about him

"My father "

And I hate it
I hate how much
I was like him
How we both lived
Our double lives
Our kleptomania
Similar
Our sins
Nearly the same
I never once had a
Meaningful conversation with that man
And yet I had unknowingly become him
I had become the enemy
My father
The one person
I wanted nothing to do with
He'd never show interest
In his girl
my brothers
they don't even know how lucky they are
To be blind
To have him their whole childhood
I always wanted a father
But it took at least ten years
To realize that the father I wanted wasn't him
The father I wanted did not exist
He still remains a dream
I was in my biological fathers footsteps
Following him blindly
and it took his suffering
his true identity to be revealed for me to understand
that we're not right and this part of me
No matter how little
Says we both have the same genetics that
make us uncontrollable
Its not our faults
it something in our Dna
the blood we share
I, despite my dislike and lack of love for him
Still want him
Want us to have a legitimate reason for our wrongs
He's not my dad and he never will be
But we share blood
I cannot deny that fact
No matter how little I like it.

I'm too happy with you
To bleed
To ruin it all
For a blade
I miss the sting
Miss the relief desperatly
And though it's been months
I fight it each day
But I'm too happy
Too in love to bleed.

Your so well trained
At seeing me
Accepting me
It's been years
And though
Your shame was once
Obvious it has now vanished
And the only shame I feel
Is from myself
Each time I look in the mirror
And how it breaks the happiness
That you've molded
I will never change
And I fear
I shall never accept who I am
But I survive now
Knowing you do.

I blocked myself
From viewing your face
Because I knew
The heartache of
Looking into eyes
That no longer cared
No longer mattered
I already knew
What it was like
To look into the past.

My intense desire
Was the thing
That once broke me
And now
It keeps
Safely with you.

I'm just tired*
Tired of
Drama
Lies
Betrayl
Secrets
Waiting
I'm tired
Of my reflection
I'm tired of my shadow
And most of all I'm tired
Of not sleeping
I miss my room
My bed
My home
I'm so tired now.

If I could
I'd spend every moment
With you
In your arms or
In silence
But sometimes
I have to remind myself
I have you forever
They only have you now.

Sometimes I get the urge
To grab your hand and run
To go back and fix it all
To somehow heal all our wounds
Together so that we never
Lose each other
But reality breaks
Me the harsh truth
If we lived different lives
We wouldn't be here together
We may have never met
We may not even be soul mates
As we proudly are now
So despite the urge to run
Waist deep in the past I stay
Beside you until the day I die
Where I'm safe
Where I know I truly belong.

I was always unafraid
To show my love
To admit it to the world
But I was always afraid of love
Of getting hurt
Not being loved in return
Afraid I'd always be searching
But I've settled now
And while I'm still fearless
About showing my love
I'm also unafraid to love
For I've found the one
And now I know
That love, while it may be scary
Is worth all that life
May try to harm me with
For love always conquers.

I realize that

At every new

Adventure

Or experience

I smile

Just a little wider

And I know

It's because

He's  experiencing

It all

**With me.

I

F
    A
          L
                L

Like a leaf

Floating from

A colored tree in autumn

Straight into his arms

If we cannot find acceptance nor love
In this world
Than both
Humanity
And Society
Has truly failed.

He asked
For forever
And that's
what I'll
give him

Our love
It began years ago
In a middle school
Either a classroom
Or cafeteria

Our love
It began when eyes met
And hearts skipped

Our love
It began when lips met
And worlds collided
When the rain
Blessed us

Our love
It began when
You walked up to me
Also the moment I realized
I couldn't refuse your offer

Our love began
When we fell apart
Distant to far for comfort

Our love
It began
With an idea
At a second chance

Our love
It began when our lips
Reunited and we remembered
What is was like to really be kissed

Our love
It begins
With every new adventure
And we get to laugh
Victoriously
Because we know
Our love will never die
We'll just start some new twisted adventure.

I used to
Dream of kissing you
Hugging you
Holding your hand
Making love
Hearing you say
You loved me
The way I loved you
I begged to God
To the stars above
And I tried so hard
To explain
That I knew
I KNEW
You and me
We were meant to be
I cried so many tears
I shed so much blood
Felt so much pain
And somehow
Lucky old me
Finally passed the beginning
Of that fairy-tale
And now after
Everything
After my praying
My wishing
My hoping
And my dreaming
I have you
To Hug
To Kiss
To love
Forever
My dearest King
You surely did
Rescue me
Even if it was from myself.

It's you
And only you
That I feel
Comfortable
Enough
To be me
Weaknesses shown
And healed in your eyes
So with you
I can finally find strength
And that is only one
Of the million reasons
Why I love you.

I get lost
Sometimes

Lost in you
The desperaity

Begging me
To stay close

I get lost
In myself

It's truest desires
It's sanity

Which loves to slip away
While I sit here

Wondering why
How

I got so lost

At least I know one place
You can find me

Happy and sane
Safely in his arms.

Memories vague

A kiss on the cheek

A young girl

With a crush

Could it have been more

Less

You still don't know

English and I

Still do not know Spanish

So there's no need

To hit on me.

It's when
Your away
That I know
Without a doubt
That my love
For you is so true
For when your
Body is away
The memories
The dreams
The thoughts of you
Overflow my mind
And I smile
Knowing your the one
I will spend forever with.

To simply
                 F
                   A
                      L
                         L

Asleep

In your arms

Could make

My

Life



Worth

L i v i n g.

Suddenly
I'm more sure
Than ever
You are
The one
I've always
Wanted
The one I'll
Always need
And the one
I will forever
Love.

Passion
Takes
Control of
The
Addict
That
A part of
Me is
And
It makes me
Make you
And I know now
Your stronger
Than I ever could be
I wonder if
It matters to you
Wonder
If you felt the jolt
Of fire
Run through your body
In the most breathtakingly
Amazing way.

I need you too
When your away
I crave you most
The undeniable urge
To lie my head
On your chest like
I once did on
That bus ride home
I miss you even now
I wish you were here
So I could fold my body
Into yours
Or lace our fingers
So that we are just a
Little closer
I wish I could fall
Asleep beside your
Beating heart warming mine
I Want you
To let me just be yours
Happily and forever.

I've caused you
So much pain
Because of me
They laugh
Bother you
Insult us
Tears stream
Down our faces
And the ache
Internalizes
I wonder some times
If your life
Would've been better
Without me in it.

You use to stare
And give puppy eyes
You use to smile as bright
As the sun could shine
I loved that boy
Who's heart
Has heavy as it
Must have been
Seemed lighter
Than air.

Now you'fe grown up
And your a man
I get to hug you
Be in your arms
Kiss you
Watch your eyes
Glimmer when
You whisper you love me
And now I can believe it
I get to finally feel your
Hair running through my fingers
And hear your troubles
Wishing with every inch of me
That I could take it all away
I love you
I love you
I just wish
We smiled more.