I told someone we're having problems

I don't know if that was the word for it
But lately I feel like your hiding things
Even from me
I know we're going through
A rough time
But I hate feeling so far
Like my own heart is floating away
And I know yours is breaking with each word
And I'm just making things worse
Because thats all I'm good at
And I'm sorry
I just want you back
Your smile has vacated
And you seem so numb
You distance me
And act like I don't care
But I do
I want it all to work out
Just as much as you
I want you in my life
I want you to stay forever
I wanna be your wife
Forever loving and faithful
But I feel so far from you
And I feel your loneliness even now
I feel your wish to be at home with me
Cuddled in a cacoon of love
But you know my goals require me to stop
Taking so many days off
And it's making me feel like
I'm trapped between a rock
It feels as though I'm in that room
Where the walls are closing in
And there are no ways out
Or simply too many to choose one
And I just want you back
And I know you have to worry
But since all the stress has arose
You kiss me less
Hug me with desparity
Begging to be saved
When I'm in the same situation
You show less emotion while showing
So many
You love me
But it feels colder
And I'm scared
And I miss you
And I don't know when things
Will get better
But I'll always be here
Waiting
I'm not the type of girl
To give up on what she loves
Baby I don't want us to cry anymore
I don't want to hurt
I don't want us to live our lives
In a loveless love
Please show me you love me
Just hug me with a smile
Or kiss me with a passion
That's not a solution
Kiss me like you want me
Because you love me
Hold my hand and squeeze
Smile at me
Smile because we have each other
Smile because we're soul mates
And we're engaged
Chase me
Tickle me
Ressurect our love
And please stop worrying for one second
And just be with me
You are my sun
And you are clouded
I'm here and try to help you shine again
Believe in my love
Trust me
Come back to me.

I admit that my life
Is still an absolute disaster
But to think of all I've endured
And where I've reached
I can say I'm proud
I'm proud that
It's been almost one year
Since I last cut
And I'm proud
That I no longer
Have dependency on a therapist
And well now I can sleep in Saturdays
And I'm happy I'm his forever
And I'm proud we've been together
For this long
I'm stressed
And nothing is ever perfect
Because life is not
Perfect
And it never will be
But as of now
I'm okay
I'm happy even
And sure
I've been crying again
But being a teenager
And a female
Gives me the right to break down
When stressed and
I know
Change is coming
And coming fast
But I'll take it best I can
And try to make things
Work out in my favor
I'm not who I use to be
And that makes me proud
I'm someone who smiles
And can laugh
I can breathe without
A broken heart
Or a weight on my shoulders
And despite my responsibilities
I'll survive where I am
You see I finally have something to be
Proud of
Life
My life and how I've grown
How I try
Each and every day
I try my hardest
And no one can tell me I don't
Because when I wake up
I know my heart found its
Keeper
And with him
Everything else has finally
Begun to fall into place
And if it takes some time and effort
I'll make sure
Everything ends up okay
I won't go back
Not **EVER.

With you
I am stronger
I like myself more
I feel alive in your arms
And when your happy
A wildfire of joy bursts
Within my very chest
Time with you
Pieces me back together
I was told that princes
Don't rescue
Princesses
And yet you rescued me
And deemed me worthy to be something
So much more than a damsel in distress
All those people who doubted we'd be together
Were so wonderfully wrong
Because here and now we prove
That love at first sight exists
And that teenage love
Can be the truest and happiest of everlasting loves
You and I were meant to be
Like Romeo and Juliet
Our love is overwhelming
And we have our obstacles
But unlike that tragic couple
We won't die
Not until our time
And we won't let anyone
Interfer with what we want most
Each other.

I hadn't had nightmares since I was 10
And the most important thing in my life
The one thing I feared losing most was
My mother
I remember those nightmares
About losing her in the mall
And that a monster would take her away
And somewhere along the line I grew up
And my nightmares faded
And I dreamed peacefully
I met you though
And fell in love
And when you left
Life was a nightmare
And dreaming had become an escape
Only even there I wasn't free
You'd show up and fade away
Leaving me
And then you came back
And even though your mine
Your now the one thing I most fear losing
Because I'm all grown up now
And I love my mother dearly
But you
Life without you
Was like a life in darkness
A hole of never ending despair
And last night I had a nightmare for the first time
In five years about you
About you ending this
And faking your death
And coming back
And breaking my heart
Twice as bad
And I remember crying
And yelling at you
How could you do that to me
I loved you
I made mistakes
But was sorry
And my heart meant nothing
And I was stuck looking at you
Breaking completely with each moment
And when I awoke
I needed you so bad
And I don't know where you are
All I know is your not here
And that nightmare is making me cry
And I don't want you to leave me
I love you too much to say goodbye.

I'm bad at falling asleep
It takes me hours
But last night
When smiles relit our faces
And we fought through it all
United as always
I climbed into my bed
Cozy as can be
And before I fell asleep
I felt your arms wrapped around my waist
And I smiled knowing that one day
It won't be my mind dreaming
And wishing
But reality
A blissfully eternal reality.

I was three
When I first felt the pull
And I know it seems impossible
But I know my heart
And it gave this tug
Telling me this was the beginning
Of my search

I was seven
When it pulled again
Telling me I hadn't
Looked long enough

I was nine
When I figured out
That friendship
Led to crushes and the tug
Told me it could lead
To more
So I couldn't give up
Not yet
I continued my search

At ten
The tug snapped
My mind out of a crush
And back into reality

Then at 11
The feeling that tug
In my chest
Faded and instead
I felt flipping there
Brown eyes pierced my soul
And my chest flipped wildly

At 12
My brown eyed boy left
And the tugging started again
Reminding me of him
Everyday
And how his eyes
Made my heart flip

At 15
I was reunited
With my brown eyed boy

Finally at 16
We've settled
And every time
I look at that boy
Who is now a man
His eyes still seeing
Every bit of the real me
I smile
Knowing my search is finally
Over.

We met to kiss
And all we've done is talk
We're dancing around
The reason we're here
We're avoiding the
Awkwardness and
I don't quite know
What I love most
The anticipation
Of your wonderful kiss
Or the giddy thudding
In my chest that we're
*Talking.

I appreciate the little things, or at least I try to
Like the way your warm when I'm cold
And cold when I'm warm
Or the way you make fun of me
Because when we hold hands
I don't always lay my fingers against your hand
I love the way you kiss my cheek
And tickle me with your stubble
The way you look at me when you want me
The good morning and goodnight texts
How 5 days a week
Your outside my house at 6 a.m.
I appreciate that I have you in my life
Because I love you
And I never wanna live without you again

I watched as you strode up my street
The sun rising with you
The sun always rising and falling
With you
And I smiled
And I ran down stairs
To once again be in your arms.

They never ask if I'm mourning
I am
You see I mourn for society
I mourn for those who prefer made up words and slang
Over heartfelt honest ones
I mourn for everyone who cannot express their true feelings
I mourn for those who value money more than love
And for those who see me as mutant
I'm perfectly fine but I mourn for the last great generation
And I mourn knowing I'm one of few uncoruptted in mine
I mourn in black for the dealers who are 14
And for the single mothers who are 13
I mourn for the homeless
And I mourn for the judging
I mourn for the models who will never eat and keep it down
I mourn for the cutters who never stop bleeding
I mourn for the world we have become and all the chaos surroundung us
I mourn for their curiosity
And most of all I mourn for myself for letting it all hurt me.

I don't know quite what to say
But I'll start with the basics.

I love you
And I want to be forever yours

I love thinking about us
Our future

I love imagining the smile on the face
Of our future child

I miss you at night
When I'm all alone in bed

And I dream of a day
Where I can kiss you good-night

When I first lost you
I wanted the ability to fly

So I could scour the Earth for you
But now I don't wanna fly

But sometimes I want telepathy
So I can read your mind

And well I love you
And I love what you think

Especially when you look at me
With that shimmer in your eye.

And darling
I love you

For everything that you are
Everything that your not
And all the wonderfulness you make me feel.

I am from the shimmer in your eyes
From the desire in your soul
I am made up of our love
Held together by every breath-taking moment
I am from that kiss
That always makes me smile
I was never truly alive
Not until the day I met you
Before that day
I was a drone
Never living life as I should
Nothing mattered before you
I was hopelessly lost
And when you found me
I knew where I was heading
I knew what I wanted life to be
So I am from your laughter
That fills my heart
I am from your hugs
That wrap me in a warm embrace
I am from your breath
And your heartbeat
I am from our undying love
That will go on until the end of time.

I love black and white photos
And I think it's because
They seems to catch the moment
So perfectly that you don't need color

All you need is a smiling face
A shimmer in someone's eyes
A laughing face
As though you can still hear it
All you need is one perfect snap
To have a perfect picture

I like black and white pictures
Because whenever I imagine
A simple black and white photo
I think of you
And your smile
I think of me in your arms
Leaning back to kiss you
I think of an abandoned path
One I once journeyed on

I love black and white photos.

I'm not use to writing in rhyme
Not no more
I'm not use to poetry at this time
Been to long since I wrote
And well
It's been to long since I used a quote
And while this poem too
Isn't any good
It's what I gotta do
I lost my talent it seems
But I try
Because A girl got dreams
And while this ain't worth reading
It's better than bleeding
I hope my inspiration comes back
But I believe my inspiration
Is currently under attack.

You are my dream man
And even when we
Were young I knew
My heart would
Whisper each night
He's the one
He is your true love
And I smiled at the thought
For you were and are my best friend
And now to be yours I see how right
My heart always was
Because you make life worth while
You make every bad moment
Every tear
Every cut
Every sad thought
Worth while
I awaken each day
With a smiling face
Knowing I'm yours
Looking into those eyes
And seeing your love
It completes me
I love you
For you are my soul mate
You are my best friend
You are my lover
My fiancée
My one true love
And one day
You will be my husband
And I'll sleep peacefully each night
Knowing I am forever yours
Knowing I'm your wife
And that our struggle
Has all been so
Worth all the wonderfulness that has yet to come
But that I know deep in my heart will.

I was never greedy
I never asked for toys as a child
Never asked for expensive things
I was always happy with what was given
But when I met you
I found myself needing
Needing to be with you
Spend every moment I could beside you
And so when I lost you
I fell into darkness
The only thing I ever needed was no longer
Capable of being near
And now after this year as yours
I see that every moment is perfectly magical
And I have to appreciate every moment
And looking back
I'm glad I had those days with you
And I'm glad I've spent this year as yours
I am the day
And you are the sunrise
And there would be no me without you.

My therapist once told me
Take deep breaths,
It sends more oxygen to the brain
And releases more chemicals to make you feel better.

I always tried to follow the advice but
Breath after breath never solved a thing
It was when I held in the oxygen and
Closed my eyes I felt better.

A heavy chest
Blended with heavy tears
To make our sins fade
I can only beg
Our guilt always trapping
But to imagine a day
When we are free
When our sins are done and buried
And we have been forgiven
The day that we forgive each other
As well as ourselves is the day
Hearts are free from the weights
And tears dry and fade
I await the day we can let go
Let go and forget
And when it happens
Our freedom will truly be free
And our love will continue undying.

I was never strong willed

I could never stop tears

Or control my own heart

I was weak to you

Weak for you

And when I fell in love

It hurt

But here I am

Years later

With you

As mine

And baby

I've never felt stronger.

A single tear fell from her heartbroken eyes
And fell so silently onto his bare chest
She kissed his cheek and left
A heart heavier than the one she'd arrived with

She had never been one to leave before today
But she feared his absence
And pleading with him so he'd stay
Was no guarantee

He awoke alone with a moistened chest
His fear arose as he saw the note she had left
"I'm doing something you never did...saying goodbye."
He got up and ran, he knew where she lived but even more
He knew where she was going.

It began to pour and her tears blended with the rain. She made it here,
The only place she might find some comfort,
The place they first met.
She grabbed rock after rock and hurled at this building
Screaming how evil and unfair it had all been.

He saw her throwing and ran faster toward her

She stopped throwing and broke down,
Crying and cursing, missing him but knowing
She simply couldn't change what she had done
Or the pesky fear that invaded her.

He grabbed her by the arms and said "Never say goodbye again."
He had learned her pain

She fell into his arms tears still flowing with the rain
She was a complete mess.
She whispered
"How can you know you won't leave me again?"

He smiled and said "Love, it anchors us together, it keeps us
from ever truly being apart."

Her heart sighed with relief so she asked "You still love me after I left?"

"Of course, you still loved me after I left." and he chuckled and something
Just felt so right.

She truly believed they'd be together forever..."I love you."

*And he truly wanted to be together forever,
And he'd make sure they would be..."I love you too"

I'd guess I'd have to say

Your kiss

Is always like the rain

Its always refreshing

Comforting

It can wipe away thoughts

It demolishes my fears

It soothes

I love the rain

But I love your kisses

A million times more.

Never give up forever

For something

Someone

Who in your heart

Is only a temporary factor

In your life.

I remember seventh grade
When life was wisping by
I remember how full my
Heart was
And how naive I was
I remember the fall leaves
Slowly dancing around us
Falling,Falling
I remember how
Peaceful it all was
And I remember how
Hard I'd scream and laugh
Whenever you gave me those hugs
Those amazing hugs
As though I was wrapped
In a snuggly cocoon
I remember how fun it was
To be your best friend
And how I loved you more
Each and every day
I remember our snowball fights
And how we laughed
I remember that mound of snow
And how I felt a spark when
Our faces neared and
Our eyes lingered
I remember running to your arms
With my declaration of love
And my acceptance to the idea of us
I remember the rain just two days after
The most beautiful drizzle
I have ever seen
And I remember running my hand
Across that pipe
Smiling knowing what was coming
It wasn't just my stomach with butterflies
It was all of me from head to toe
I remember sitting on the step facing you
And how a tap kiss scared me
And more made me jump back
And the most romantic thing
I'll ever know
Is when I said I couldn't out of fear
And you whispered "I know"
As you slid closer and kissed me
So passionately
I remember you and I
Falling in love
I didn't let you go
Because on that day
On all those days
You proved to me you,
You were worth fighting for
Your always worth fighting for.

I think the reason

I've always loved poetry

Is because every poet

All these people

They go through things too

They've been hurt

Just like me

And I know even YOU

Have been hurt

I mean hasn't everyone

I think we just take it harder

We don't brush away the pain

Or hide it

We cry

And we write

And we hurt

And I think our words

Help us let some of it go

Our words set ourselves free

I've been writing since I was ten

And I've never looked back

I love poetry

And I love my fellow poets

Because even if we aren't receiving love

In our realities

We are here

Where our words

Come from the heart

And no one is jugded

Our poetry is our utopia

And we'll never forget that.

I love you
And I'm human
Despite the fact
That I use to say
I was born
In venus
So yeah
I make mistakes
And no I'm not perfect
Even if in your eyes I am
I'm not
I love you
And even when I cry
I love you
And I know I don't always
Act like I do
But I do
And you mean more to me
Than anything
And I'm sorry
For every time I hurt you
And I wish each night
You were here to tuck me in
But I'm patient
We've lived a miserable life apart
And I hope we never have to bare that again
I love you
And darling
You've always had my heart.

I love waking up in your arms
I love being close to you
Looking into your dazed eyes
My heart swells with joy
Knowing your mine
I love you
And I await
The days
Where I can
Awake to you
*EVERY DAY.