We're old enough to know we want each other forever but young enough for dreams and aspirations to come true and together I believe everything we want and everything we dream is possible.

I don't like being less
I don't like being so near edge
Because that's what I've been my whole life
And when I finally accomplished
One of my dreams
When I had it all
My past invaded and broke it
So I remain less
Until I have once again
Earned my place.

It's been five days
Since I have hugged you
And kissed you
And felt you close
It's been three days
Since being demoted
And a mere one
Since the fire
Of rage slowly
Faded
It has been
So hard
But for you
All the pain
In this cruel world
Cannot change my love.

My head hurts from my tears
And my eyes blur
And yet I write to tell you
I cannot survive without you
I write to you begging for you
To keep me


Please



*Keep me.

You don't sense my sincerity
When I say I wish I could change it
You don't listen to me
When I say I have been faithful and trustworthy
You have ignored my broken heart
If you looked in my eyes
My soul could reach out
And beg for your understanding
It would beg for you to do
What you use to,
Understand.

I thought you loved me
For who I am
Not who I was
Or who you wanted me to be
I thought you'd always be here
I thought this time was different
And that you wouldn't hurt me
I thought this was forever
But in an instance you can take it all back
And in a instance we can be broken
And I fear it
For you are all I have
You are my reason for living
So now where do I go for comfort
Because you agreee with the cruelty of him
And I've been begging for forgiveness and yet
It has not come
And I prayed to God
And yet He seemed not hear me
I am nothingness
I am a monster
Made from love and destroyed by it
I was once happy
And that was in your arms
When you were not blinded
Who am I
I am nothing
For what have I ever been
Without your comfort.

I miss it all
The hugs
The kisses
Our dreams
Of living together
Being married
Having a baby
Loving each other
Until the day we die
And the hope of our love
Surviving past that
I miss waking to your eyes
And watching you sleep
I miss cuddling on the couch
While you looked at me with love
I miss your love
I miss your hand in mine
I miss the way you laughed
I miss your scar
I miss having dreams
I miss you

I am inferior
For in your eyes
I am simply sin
No matter how I beg
For forgiveness
I am a monster
Am I not?
For did you not agree
With the cruelty he dealt
The accusations
Of being nothing but a
Young lustful *****
Is that what your calling me?
I thought you loved me
And yet I have spent all day crying
My heart begging to be torn out
And my hands anxious for the blade
My mind shattered
As memories of us replay in my mind
Our hugs and kisses
Our cuddles and care
The proposal which you took back
That which shattered my dreams
And I fear he was right in calling me
Nothing
For I believe God is punishing me
I have sinned and prayed for forgiveness
And I am repayed with only this agony
I cannot cry for I have run out of tears
My world distraught by the power
He holds over you and I
To disrupt our present
With the past
That which I have begged forgiveness
My voice
It goes unheard
And the pain undying
If you were here to look me in eyes
Would you let me break inside as I am now?
Would you watch me crumble?
Or hold me and love me?
Haven't you always preached
Letting go of the past
Haven't you preached forgiveness
For I am broken now
And I will not yell
And I may continue to cry
But still I will not give up
Our battle is too hard
But we've fought to long
To give up now
So I remain
With this aching
For I too love you
And I too forgive
For love is forgiveness
Love is compromise and acceptance
And I accept you
And I trust you
And sometimes I wish that was returned
But I see no matter how faithful I am it will not
I have sinned so
I will not be trusted
And I'm always gonna be
Border-line accpeted
But love goes on
So I will stay
And be yours
And offer you my heart
And let you cherish or hurt it
For my love is powerful
And it will not quit
For true love
Does not sway or diminish
Only grow with each twisted fight.

Won't you come and comfort me
Make it all better
As every bit of me aches
I cannot take this
Being put down
Degraded and made to
Feel so much less than worthy
How am I suppose to live now
Without my sunshine
How am I to live when my dreams are fading away
Dying
I don't wanna give up yet.

I'm stuck in this cycle
And no matter how well it ends
The bad comes back
Cascading around me
As though I was never happy
And I fight so hard
To hold on
But I'm toppled over
And everything
It just builds up and
I break
Little by little
And I fear that
All that will be left
Are the shards of me.

I broke down today
And I don't know if I should smile
Because I didn't cut myself
Or cry some more
Because it's been so long
Since I broke down.

I'm gonna be honest
I can't write about
You leaving me
Because
Then it truly
Becomes real
And your here now
I'm not hurting
Not yet.

I was never skinny
And I think that killed my mother
I was never happy
And I think that killed my mother
I was always different
And I think that killed my mother
I always straightened my curls
And I think that killed my mother
I like black
And I think that killed my mother
I hate my glasses
And I think that killed my mother
I was broken  and no one comforted me
And I think that killed my mother
I was smart and became dumb
And I think that killed my mother
She bore me and she judges everything I do
And that kills me.

I love you
And I already miss you
And your kiss
Sweet and meaningful
I miss the strength your presence gave me
I miss your hugs
And holding hands
And being tickled
I miss rubbing your stubble
I love you
So I'll always be here
Always be true to you
But it'll hurt everyday your away
But our love is undying and true
So I know it can make it through
I love you
So I know you and me
We'll have our happiness
Our marriage and child
Our whole life
Together
I love you
And that will never change.

Someone asked me "So what happens when you know everything about him and get bored?"And I told them **"It's not going to happen, I've known him 5 years and not only am I learning new things still but being re-told old things and I love it, with him there's no getting bored."

She put me down again
And I guess
That's where the
Insecurity began
Her and then the doctors
I think she started at 10
Or maybe 13
I can't tell anymore
She made me shed a few tears
And I fought the urge to do more
I fought off my desires to scream
And to swear
But it's like the *** calling the kettle black
Or whatever the quote is
And I hate it
I hate judgment
But most of all
I hate it from her
I hate when she tells me
How I never do anything
And acts as though I don't try
I hate how she doesn't understand
How she never has
I'm big
I can deal with it
Why can't she?
Why can't society?

That day
When I kissed you
Surprisingly
And fast
I think I was
Fighting to
Catch up
To all that I lost
Those two years
That you were gone
And I think that kiss
Told me I loved you again
And that I could never stop
And that I never did
I think that action
Taken by me
Sealed myself
In a wonderful fate
With you.

I think our love is special
Because we never give up
Not ever
And because for us
There is no limit
We believe in each other
In the same way we believe in our love
With all of our hearts
And I think we have every right
To think that our love is special
Because every love story is
And when that love story
Can outrun the sands of time
We will still remain
Strong and unswayed
For our love is undying and true
We are fighters
And we fight for what we love
We fight for each other
So that we're never alone.

Happiness baby
Remember that

Laughing
And tickling
Making love
And being adventurous
Always pushing the envelope
And falling even more madly in love
Remember baby
How I'd give my play-doh hearts
And you'd smile knowing it was somehow
Another piece of me
Remember holding my hand
And pushing my fingers down
And me biting on your finger after
And you licking mine
Remember your hugs
Tight without warning
And remember
The way I bit your neck
And you'd kiss mine
And I'd laugh because your stubble
It tickled me
And remember our dreams baby
Finishing school
Working and me going to college
Sharing a little apartment happily
Because we get to fall asleep in each others arms
And remember our marriage
And our dreams of having a child
And raising them
And how you taught me
That if I have your child
Your blood will be in me
Won't you just remember all the things that make
Us happy
Because that's what we were
And I just want that back baby
I love you
Always and forever
And I'd never hurt you intentionally
So please believe me
Believe my tears and just remember
That together we can be happy
Please let us be happy again.

It hurts without you
And your right
We haven't
Spent time together
And I miss you
It's felt like forever
Since you last looked at me
With desire
And I miss that too
But what hurts most
Is I feel like you don't trust me
Like you down-graded me to *****
Because your friends weren't in my shoes
And I hate that
I hate that we've let other people in our minds
Because that's destroyed us too much in the past
To let it destroy all we've worked for now
I've been so indescribably upset
And every time we solve our sorrows together
Something else interferes with us
And it seems like we never win
But I never give up
And I won't now
I'm the type of person who hates change
And that means I try not to
So when I say I love you
I say it with my soul
I say it with every bit of me
And I mean it forever and always
I don't let go because I never give up
Won't you please just be happy with me.

She gave me that look
Like she was disappointed
Like I was a monster
And that very look
Broke me inside
I held in my tears
But I can't change
The pain
She made me feel
Worse than I already make myself feel
Because I do that each day
Tell myself how much I hate this gut
But then I go off and eat my emotions
So what good am I now
Just a blob to the world I suppose
And I'm statistic as well
I was born with this evil nature
Your sad?
You eat
Your happy?
Celebrate with food
Your stressed?
Have some sweets
You have a craving?
Indulge yourself
I have no will power
And no one listens to me
Because I'm the worst thing
I'm a young woman
Whose overweight
Living in a judgmental world
Wishing someone would just listen
I can't do it myself
I can't do it
And I need help
Because if even my own mother
Who's imperfect
Can give me that look
If even I give myself that look
Something must be wrong
And I guess it's with me.

So wont you come back
Wont you be mine
Where have you been
Your eyes are dazed
And you seem miles away
You gave me a sad look
As though you didn't want to
But I need you
I miss you
My heart must heal
And together we must
Accomplish this obstacle
And get our happy ending
Wont you have faith
And keep holding on like I do
Please darling come back to me
You've stayed but you seem so distant
I need you
For my heart
Will forever be yours.

I miss you
I feel your absence
My body is a empty shell without you
And I suppose it no longer matters
That my body arches in my bed
Imagining you and I tangled in the sheets
My heart shattered by your abscence
My world missing its life
Wishing you were back
Needing you
Crying in my bed
Seeing how lonely life truly is
So now who will kiss me
And walk me home
And make me proud of who I am
Who will look at me with passion
And tickle me to make sure I'm okay
I miss your eyes
And staring into them
And running my hand over your scar
For who will kiss my boo boos
And cuddle with me when I'm sad or sick
Who will I give my play-doh hearts to
Who do I turn to now that your gone
Because no one can compare to you
No one is made for me like you.

I remember how lonely
This time of the year was
Without him
And now that he's here
And mine
I hope that you feel
The comfort I do
I hope you find someone
To hold and keep you grounded
And safe
I know this time of the year
And it can be tough all alone.