Centuries can pass

Stars can die

And still

I can't help but be reminded

Of the way I once loved you.

My body wants you

But my mind is angry

Angry with your carelessness

Angry with your childish ways

I love you

But I hate the things you do

I want you

But I need space from you

How is it

You made me love you and dislike you at the same time?

Sometimes

All I can think of

Are all the reasons I should leave.

She's got this thing called external beauty that you can't see past

And I mean **** you're not wrong, you can bounce a quarter off that ***

But I tell you, inside the beautiful exterior is a
B I T C H

A big one at that

To have something that everyone has had or has seen is no prize

To have someone purely because they look good is so silly

You want a trophy?

Buy one.

You want a prize

Earn it.

I've been trying to learn
How to not hate myself.


How do I unlearn everything I've taught myself?

How do I take back my tears?

How do I take back slicing into my own skin in hopes I'd die?

How do I erase the self doubt and fear?

How do I let go of all the years I didn't feel like enough?

How do I wash away the sin?


I want to cleanse my soul

Show me how.

He asks me "don't you just love her? "

As if to tell me how perfect he thinks she is

As if to tell me I cannot be compared

And I want to tell him no

No!

I do not like her

Or the way she treats you

Or the way she speaks to you

I don't like that she gets to kiss you

Or to touch you

Or that she takes for granted the way you make everyone around you laugh even when I know you're hurting

I don't like that she is yours

And I don't like that I can never be