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Brandon Jun 10
As I watch my wife
Screaming in pain
Delivering our first child
I can’t help but think
That all this pain
Is more bearable

Than all the wishful “do you see an extra line?” pregnancy tests
Than all the out right negative pregnancy tests

Than the skipping of channels at just the right moments
[And the attempt at skipping channels but failing to do so in time]
Than turning the movie off right before my wife figures out what’s going on
[And not turning it off soon enough]

Than all the doctor visits that failed to answer any questions
Than all the doctor visits that ended only in tears

Than a doctor pushing for termination
Because a test result didn’t fit in with the majority
Than a second opinion from another doctor who said “**** that doctor” and helped ease her sadness

Than all the times we wished good tidings
With anger and sorrow haunting our thoughts
Than all the times where we said nothing
Because it was just too painful to consider

Than all the moments etched permanently into our memories
Than all the moments forgotten from our thoughts

I see the pain on my wife’s face
And I hear her shouting that she can’t do it
While everyone present assures her
she can

But I don’t see the frustration and the sadness that lead to this moment
And that’s when I know

That all this pain
Is more bearable

Brandon May 3
I apologize for all the holes and damages that you’ve endured all these years
When pen to paper would not sedate the apocalyptic lust that hungered for the world
And when words spoke were wasted in silent memorials for tombstones never visited...

                   A bit of spackle
               Drywall patch here
          A little mud flung about
  Just the right amount of sanding
     A fresh coat of primed paint

           No one will be the wiser

                                 A wall repaired and forgotten
Brandon Apr 3
Am I
        Staring back
       At me


Am look
         Staring back


Re       tion
    In the



Brandon Mar 15
Words I can’t write
Times that I can’t get right
Moments lost in echos

Hold my breath
Bite my tongue
Swallow blood

You are the music
That I can no longer hear

I’ve reached with crippling fear
Only to find it easier
Pushing than pulling

Clench my fists
Close my eyes
Whisper good bye

You are the music
That I can no longer hear

A face is a stranger
When the soul changes
And the distance continues

Don’t let me go
Keep reaching for me
Set me free

You are the music
That I can no longer hear

You are the music
Brandon Oct 2018
I’m barely holding
the strings of reality together
I close my eyes
and I still see the silence enclosing
My blood burns and boils
without the option of an eruption
Keep the skin taught
like fragile emotions
God has a plan Be ******
Tethering to an anchor
cast into an abyss
It may barely be perceptible
When you trace lexicons
Like ****** ticks
But I’ve had enough of this
Brandon Sep 2018
Where once I adjoined
A facet of evergrowing life
I now fall through the air
Destined for the ground
And the crunch of footsteps
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