Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I hear them calling, she said.

with her open mouth she joined the screaming crowd in her mind.
she wasn't alone now.

I can see them reaching out, she cried!

everyone appeared to be seeking her bursting mind.
she felt it all so deeply,
she was an ocean, flooding over everyone with her pain

they all wonder with danger seeping from their shut eyes.
she devoured them, with every closed lid,
with her broken mind
she pulled out her heart, to be alone
she stopped breathing.

how express, they whispered.
oh, she suffered beautifully they exclaimed.
how admirable.

it was easy for them to go about their day.

*easy.
 Sep 2014 Nur Aishah Azman
Ekuu
We're lost and yet, we strive to carry on,
to see the sun once more.
But often we  move too fast,
or try to skip ahead.
Even a glance through a book,
can't know what we have read.
Each story cultivates a path,
from beginning to end.
It's a trail true love must follow,
the way that it was penned.
Happy endings are rarely found,
and if no love can then be found,
you'll be alone again.
For if offered love is free,
and it need not be earned,
What merit do you think it has,
when it is not returned?
So if you seek this treasured prize (love),
Here's what you'll have to do.
The love you offer someone else
Must also mean something to you.
There are three simple words
that can make me,
that can break me.
Three words that
anyone can say.
The speaker of those words
immediately has power over me
as soon as the words
leave their lips.
The words are not
I love you,
but
**** your self.
kys.
three words; **** your self.
two words; **** yourself.
an acronym; kys.
Six months ago,
you could've said that to me
and I would have been
devastated.
I would cry
and scream
and maybe even try.
Today, however,
you could say those words to me,
and I will smile.
I will smile with confidence.
I will smile with sadness,
because you think it is a joke.
For you cannot tell me what to do.
You cannot bring
me down that easily.
I will laugh
because you think
you can hurt me.
Your petty little words
will not even phase me.
Go ahead and joke,
but I will never
EVER
say those words to anyone.
You never know
when someone will
take you seriously.
idk where that was going...just feel strong today :))))))
 Sep 2014 Nur Aishah Azman
Q
If I could make sense of who I am
Perhaps I'd see you clearly
If I could make heads or tails of me
Then, maybe, I could begin healing.
If my brain could find order and peace
It's possible I'd love you freely
If I knew that I was right side up or upside down
I may finally stop abandoning you, may stop leaving.

But I've no clue who the mirror is showing me,
I've never seen that thing once in all my days.
And, *******, there's pitiful little good in knowing me
But you stayed and that saves me in a million, million ways.

If you'd put your arms around me, I know I'd push away
And if you told me you loved me I'd say 'it's just a phase.'
I haven't jumped into the unknown because I'm scared of where I'll land.


And I can't trust you until I make sense of who I am.
I think if someone would tell me to
stop
romanticising the past,
my mind would finally find a moment
to breathe and heave.

I'm sure he's not how I remember him.
I'm sure he's never been that amazing in his life.
I know this and still.
That's how I remember him.
 Sep 2014 Nur Aishah Azman
Rj
I like the idea of friends snuggling
And holding hands all the time
But anything more and I'm asexual
I've always talked about love
And wanted to kiss, and 'stuff'
Who doesn't?
But I realized if I actually picture it
I freak out. I can't do it.
Maybe it's because I haven't found
Someone I am completely and utterly
Invested in, that might be it.
So until then,
I'll make the bestest of friends
Seeing you up close
is like seeing the sun
pop out behind grey clouds.

Seeing you smile
is like running through a
field of flowers.

And seeing you far away
is another reminder
that you are not mine.
It's not that I don't want to live
And find out who my wife will be
Or see my children born
And raise them to be just like me

It's not that I don't love my friends
or hate the adventures and company
They numb the pain and heartache
Even though it's temporary

I know my siblings, my parents,
grandparents, hell my whole family
will cry and weep at my funeral
and the news of "A Self Hanging"

I understand I'm not bad
I know that they love me
It's not about being hated
Or thinking I'm not worthy

I just want the pain to stop

I don't know when it started
Or what sets it off
Or why I'm weak
Or why I cry myself to sleep

I just want the pain to stop

I feel alone
I know I'm not alone but
Knowledge doesn't **** emotion

But I know what will

I raise my glass
To feel numb one more time
One more time before
I never have to feel

Ever again.
Rough Draft
People ask me where I've been
I say, in a dream, a remote reality
Perhaps a part in this world
And a part in the other.


F.Z.N
Next page