The loss of a love,
now but a distant memory
still lingering in my mind;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
A thousand deaths,
whether it be from this world,
My past or my present;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
The pain upon my brain,
In my heart and in my soul;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
Yet I still throw myself
at this life, at this world
and the broken thing always
comes back with a smile on it;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.

12:34 AM  — *I scream “I love myself” over and over in my head, whisper “I don’t need you,” even as my eyes are drawn to my slim wrists and I think about how mirrors are glass, and, oh, what I could do with the shards.

I still dwell on the way
Your eyes lit up for Christmas
Your hate for cold
Yet your love for the Holiday snow
Still etched in my fine memories

Funny how the two of us
Both had broken families
Yet you made sure to light up your home
To make Santa real for the little ones
Your rooms filled with fake snow
Gifts, lights, and love

However broken the tragic edges
Of your Christmas past
You still made it come alive
In the present
Giving and giving
Until you were left with nothing

Until your Christmas spirit
Finally faded, cracked, and broke

Remember building snowmen
And skiing down hills
Mornings full of hot cocoa
Room of laughter and cheers

Oh angel of mine
Come spread your wings again
To give away some holiday cheer
That this Christmas lacks
Oh sweet princess of snow
Melt the ice around your heart
Spread the love
And watch the magic grow

I see you.
I see the real you.
I see the real you no one else sees.

Because you wear a mask.
You wear a beautiful, deceiving mask.
You wear a beautiful, deceiving mask but you forget,
     I can see you.

Why can't you see me?

A hidden smile
Covered by a sea of pain
Don't give up
One day your smile will emerge
From the ground
Enlightening other peoples faces once again