Why do people feel like they have a right to control you?
I do not care who you are, but I am my own person.
I am not obligated to respond to calls, texts, and if I am not in the mood to hang out, then there's your answer.
In this generation, everyone is so backed up on the wrong things.
My mental health and my priorities come before anything else, and that doesn't matter whether you're a friend, family, or a significant other.
I live my life for me, and I will continue to please myself in the way that I want to.
So, again, forgive me if the shoe fits to you.. but I came into this world alone, and that is how I will leave.
The things happening in my life are a self-battle, so I have to make sure I do things for me.

Before I met you, I was completely fine.
I was learning to love myself, and I was on a good path.
You becoming an addition to my everyday future, was a blessing in the beginning.
Now I just look at you, and our relationship as a curse.
I had the signs placed right in front of my eyes, but I was too blinded by the way I had felt about you
All for what?
All for you to leave me in the end, to treat me as if you never cared
..To move on, like our relationship, our time spent together had meant nothing to you.
I had so much pain for the past month, that I did not even know how to handle it.
The one person I talked to every single day, who I confided in, trusted, turned back around and hurt me.
So I felt lonely, and you knew that, but yet you still went ahead and moved on with your life..
You were the person that I thought I was going to be with for a long time
You were the one that showed me many things and I don't regret our relationship, but I do regret it being with you.
Because before you even came into my life, I did not want a relationship.
But now I know how a woman should be treated, and I will never let anyone give me less than I deserve ever again.
I was head over heels over you, and none of that was reciprocated.
So now because of you, I have to deal with many other issues in my life, and the biggest one of all.. is that you broke my trust.

My past memories and experiences come to haunt me on the daily.
I am crept up at the most unusual times and placed with a wave of sadness over my head.
In these times where I am being tested and I am caught up in the pain of my past, I realize.
That it is called my past for a reason.
I am now in the present, in a much better, gifted state.
I am confident, loved, beautiful, and I will get everything that I desire in this life.
Ya Allah, I just pray that you help me through my journey.
Ya Allah, all I yearn for is constant positivity throughout any experience that I go through
Ya Allah, I pray that my father, my mother, and my brothers wake up everyday, being proud of their little princess.

I have searched for self-love for years, and now I can greatly say that I am in love with myself. I am confident in my own body, in my own mind.

You hurt me to the point where I began to feel numb.
God had risen up and shown me plenty of signs but I ignored them all because I wanted you.
I passed through all of the pain and all of the nights crying myself to sleep wondering how you felt about me.
I loved you more and more everyday, I sacrificed things for you, I was genuinely here for you.
You led me on with no remorse, you didn't even bother to come back and check up on me.
I told you my past, I explained how I was afraid, I opened up and showed you my pain..and all you did was reenact my torture
So forgive me if I act like you are a stranger, and forgive me if I treat you as if I never wanted you
That is how you know that you hurt me to my core, and the worst of it all, was that it was unexpected.
..you were the one that told me to expect the unexpected.

I hate showing my emotions.
I don't like other people getting the satisfaction of knowing how I feel and having that over me.
I have been gaslighted, manipulated, emotionally abused.
So how much of a fool would I be, to sit here and become vulnerable with another human being.. who has the power to do that to me again?

It gets draining trying to have conversations with people who go out of their way to look for something to complain about.
It gets draining trying to even converse with others when you aren't in the right state of mind to.
It gets draining to have to start over and learn everything about another person.
It gets draining to take things back to square one and become vulnerable with yet, another person
Who's just going to end up leaving again..