"Remission"
It's such a beautiful word
Giving an illusion so strong you might truely believe you are done.

You are no longer sick;
You are in remission.
You are on pause.
You are in a peaceful
limbo.

I gaze empty out of the window
There's a cat watching the birds from the root of the tree.
"Noddy?"
My doctor keeps talking in the background of wind, beauty and heartbreak.

It's aggressive this time

And all I can think of is how I am empty
My poet is gone
And both physically and emotionally
I am dying.

I've always loved apples.
The thrill of a fresh one
Tickling my taste buds
Waking me up
Making me moan.

But I've always been weak
Falling for temptation
and whispers of proposals;
maybe you should try that one

Foolish like women of ivory skin
And ebony hair
My red lips touch the flesh  
Fueling my body with it's poison
Turning everything dark.

I awoke today
Turned around
And faced the pip of forbidden fruit
The snakes are laughing
And I'm waiting to be locked out of Paradise.

I've always loved apples.

I know it's wrong of me to dial your number at this hour
But my glass turned empty
And my head filled up.

I know I'm not her
She is so easy
And I am me.

I'm trapped in the web of
Second chances, what if's, and used to be's.
Competing in the championship of
last calls.

I'll be your witness
In sickness
And in health.

I'll be your pet
For entertaining responsibility  
And affectionate love.

I'll be your home
For comfort
And understanding.

I'll be your toy
-
I was your lover
Until I'm old news
And you find another to be fixed.

Today I did not cry

My face even wore a smile
Glowless.
Fake.
Tired.
Hurt.
Yet a smile.

Today I did not cry

... but inside I have
Waterfalls.

You showed me the beauty of life,
Sparked the hope in
Forever.

With music, wine and poetry,
You dared me to live
Dared me to sing
Dared me to
write.

I lived.
I sang.
I wrote.

And now I stand without my poet -
Lost in a world of admired beauty.
In a world that only seems
grey.

Ladies and Gentlemen
There is a storm ahead,
and the wind is against us.
Please try to stay calm.

The devil on my shoulder laughs.
I fasten my seatbelt. This is
Not my first encounter.

I catch a glimpse of
panic in your eyes.
The sweat dripping from your scalp
Searching for the quickest way out of this nightmare.

Yet you smile
Trying to comfort me once again, that
We're all good, babygirl.*
I always wonder if it's me
- Or you
That needs to be convinced.

I can't shake the thought of how you should be with another -
Someone who travels
Light.

But here we are;
Tickets ready
Clinging to our baggage
Carrying on
toward our
Destination.