Lying awake waiting, waiting for something that you don’t even know, it’ll never come though.
It hurts to wait, it hurts to not know, but why does it hurt?
Is it the quiet?
Is it the darkness?
Is it being alone?
Maybe it’ll go away once I wake up, if I could fall asleep.
Maybe it’ll be just this one night and after it won’t happen again.
Maybe I’ll wake up to find that it was just a nightmare.
Maybe it wont.
Maybe it’ll stay.
Maybe it’ll come back often and I’ll succumb to the pain once more.
Maybe this’ll be the future.
Some Nights… I just hurt.

Beautiful.
Exquisite.
Gorgeous.
Pretty.  
Playful.
Handsome.
Adorable.
Cute.  
Fierce.
Frightening.       ­ 
Wise.
Truthful.  
Intelligent.      
Clever.
Creative.
Unique.
Broken.
Pain.  
Hatred.
Fury.  
Mercy.  
Warmth.    
My never ending Love.

... I'm not there to listen anymore?
... my touch fades away?
... You outgrow my clothes?
... there's no one's to talk to late at night?
... I stop texting You first?
... I stop answering Yours?
... I stop posting online?
... I stop liking other's posts?
... I log off, and never log back on?
... there is no ringing of the phone?
... there is no one picking up?
... all that is left, is memories?
Will You notice when i'm gone?

All the compliments? Every "I love you"? Every "I miss you"? Every "Please don't leave me"? Was it all a lie?
I can't understand how you moved on when I did nothing wrong. Forgetting how I was always there, always jumping to be by your side. Letting you sleep as I held you and pushed your nightmares away. Singing while you slept and you waking up saying your dreams were of me singing to you. Holding on to you through every horrible event... never giving up hope.
But you changed... you gave up on me for no reason. Losing every memory that kept us strong. Losing yourself...
So I give up... you don't want me around because I can still make you smile with one word, one look, and one tear. I can make you laugh with one joke, one laugh, one word. I can tell where you hurt without you saying or showing it. I look at your eyes and feel your pain, sorrow, angry, guilt?
Everyone has a limit, but i have never reached mine. I can withstand any pain, heart shattering pain. So deep, my soul gets cut and shatters!

Who would care?
Who would notice if i stopped messaging everyone?
Who would text my phone, message me on kik, blow up my facebook or even call?
Who would notice if i left?
What would they miss, me or my kindness?
Would they actually notice?
Would they actually care?