it saws old rain in my skull
and your thoughts take a tour; wet and heavy
and quietly, the dirt shifts in the metal tracts

you break me every single time
my internal spilling is entangled
hopelessly

my summer-psyche enmeshed in your season
and forever swallows a few more ribs
don't wake the children of the light
for their feathers will burn beneath my nails

a storm hangs patiently on the wall
like a delighted painting made from frantic crystals
and I skitter from your towering moods
yet the moon dances in and out of every calm abyss

the lid is no more vacant than my veins cursed with
your silence
like algae, I slip on

my terror squeaks like a vehicle possessed
cheeks go ashen in my gay smiles
you will blush, in secret at what I will do
to you

sails lift on garlicky air in a port where ships don't wait
and my tongue loosens another melody only doubt hears
I'm completely in your hands
and willing for that crush

my acts for coins fall meaningless in embedded frustration
       don't come to the table, then
       keep the shades drawn
only the sense of phantoms
will be hanging in my smoke
intoxicating me to radiance
racing through to the ripples in your day

I'll keep lancing pebbles across the ocean's surface
they will never really reach the riverbed
frosty comes in agonising diamonds
a feast of distress sitting urgently
a shudder flutters through me, imperceptible

reduction of sweetness
a date with the cherubs from a netherworld
my nose feels the snows you carry
and I know you constrict still
my language falters and thinking shatters
and although slumped and vulnerable, it flourishes.

I dreamed that the heart of the ocean shot up into Heaven
******* breath and sleep and sense into the savage void
Tsunami swells of pain and grief pounded ship and shore and sailor
I felt the earth heave, heard the roar, reached out and touched the water
It felt like home
Like a brother, or a son

Then man built a seawall to protect the people
Poured in rubble to dissipate the ocean's rage
Built barricades to hide the sorrow waves and churning waters
Do not swim
          Do not touch
                    Do not grieve
or speak
or be

I wake from the dream with grains of sand beneath my nails
Water streaming from my eyes
Like channels of salt across the pavement
My heart pounds--was that a roar?
I stumble forward, but cannot find the ocean
I reach out, but cannot touch the water
Where is the brother, or son?
I can not swim
          I can not touch
                    But I can grieve
and speak
and be

And this will not last forever

Oh, my love
If you were at the level of my madness,
You would cast away your jewelry,
Sell all your bracelets,
And sleep in my eyes.

Grab me a bottle.
Drink to forget everything.
At least it's something.

2 and 2 are 4.
4 and 4 are 8.

But what would happen
If the last 4 was late?

And how would it be
If one 2 was me?

Or if the first 4 was you
Divided by 2?

I will ******* scream
until you acknowledge me,
I swear on my life.