I made you something you’re not.

I made you sweeter than you were, like summer rain or springs’ blossom.

I’ve made you something you weren’t.

I made you honest.

I made you the victim of circumstance.

I made you beautiful inside and out.  

And if the light revealed cracks in your plaster, I turned them off.

I made you something you’re not.

I made the worst parts of you my fault.

I made your responsibilities into something they’re not; I made them mine.

I made your intentions pure.

I made you kind.  

I built an illusion and let myself believe it to be real.

You let me make you these things; knowing that you were not.

You could not help yourself; I understand.

I taught you the notes to play to make my heart open, even though the song was never yours.  

I made you play it and you obliged.

I made you something you’re not.

I made you into the lover, pushing past the furthest boundaries.

I made you good for me.

I made you right for me.

I made the lies you told into truth.

I dismissed the warnings.

I dismissed reality in favor of the most compelling of dreams and hid in the shadow of the nightmare to stay asleep.

I made you into something you’re not.

Perfect for me.

Kind to me.

Honest with me.

I made you into my ocean and swam your depths.

I made you into my safe harbor, even as the waves battered my boat at your dock.

I let you hope that I would swim too deep, that I would get caught on an ancient shipwreck, moored to you forever.

The darkest part of me was hoping for the same; for choice to be removed, to be bound to you.

Intentionally unwittingly.

I let you take from me.

I let you drink from me until it was no longer safe; and knowing it was no longer safe, your sunk your teeth deeper and you drank deeper still.

I don’t blame you.

I am slowly waking up.

I made you into something you’re not.

I am to blame.

I loved you; I love you.

I loved and love the you that there isn’t, that there never was.

I made you into something you’re not.

I made you into something you never were.

I made you into something you will never be.

I made you mine.

For in this world, my heart has bleed.
Full of scares and still healing.
Questioning my insanity,
Choosing to live and still love.
Love, even when it hurts me most.
For its that hurt, that awakens me.

****** is ******

That's physical

Pain is pain

That's physical

But depression is corruption

That's mental

Mentally the pain destroys the mind

Emotionally the mind can't destroy the pain

If you haven't been broken you cant relate 

It's a deep feeling that you can't explain

It drives you crazy

Then the thoughts become your passenger

And before you know it the old you is sitting in the backseat  

Thoughts going 90 miles per hour

You become your darkest moment

Blending in with your shadow

 Opinions start to define you

Overthinking becomes your drug

You are an addict

Lost in oblivion

Overdosing on what scares you the most

You tried facing your fears but ended up looking at yourself

you are  your worst nightmare