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14.1k · Nov 2014
I'll be here
Nisren Nov 2014
Please, close the door, and lock it shut
These feelings are the death of me
Unbearable sadness coupled with undying rage
Drives me sane, woke up in the hospital with a cold sweat.

All alone. alone with my thoughts, I cannot sleep
So I stare at the white ceiling thinking of you,
Wondering what I could of done to deserve this.
I tried to be a good friend, I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it,
I am full of love, but I don't know who to love.
Opening up to you took more effort than imaginable,
you take it for granted, but that's okay.
Use and abuse me I'll take the abuse.
Spent two days in 51-50 hold, I tried to **** myself. This is about those nights, and the friends that weren't there for me.
10.3k · Oct 2014
Hopelessness
Nisren Oct 2014
Let this cancer grow
Take everything away
Nothing will stop the spreading
No hope no lies.
1.4k · Oct 2014
Inhale
Nisren Oct 2014
Each puff dulls the pain you bring,
Allowing myself time to feel euphoria.
Hate oozes as I soothe my soul,
Each second takes four hundred, and twenty moments to feel.

When it's over I'm left hoarse gasping for water, cotton in my mouth, and not a worry in the world.
612 · Nov 2014
Untitled
Nisren Nov 2014
My thoughts bleed onto paper, as if my heart was stabbed.
Gushing forth, no bandage can stop it,
A chasm is what is left of a beating heart.
Voiceless laying dead on the ground.
605 · Nov 2014
Untitled
Nisren Nov 2014
Trying to run from problems,
wishing there was another way.
Drugs, and alcohol block these feelings,
pushing them  farther back.
Unable to push it away,
You can't see the pain I am in.
Avoid me, I'll see you on the other side either way.
**** drugs, and **** alcohol.
476 · Nov 2014
The One Who Couldn't Stay
Nisren Nov 2014
Oh how I ache to see you.
To be in your enchanting aura,
basking in the warm glow emanating from your radiance.
Your beautiful hazel eyes consume my soul,
blushing and smiling, our lips met.
402 · Dec 2014
Untitled
Nisren Dec 2014
I spent my day listening to poetry so that one day I could tell you how I feel
One day you will know that every drink I swallow makes it harder for to me tell you how I feel
Each cigarette steals a couple minutes of torment that comes with silence between us
I would rather have every minute be silent, than not see you at all.
I may not know what love is, but I know how to care, and nurture someone.

You will never see this poem, I accept that, this is an image of my heart.
This is how I spend my days, thinking of you, and what could be.
The hope that you will like me, and if you don't I will accept that.
But give me a chance, and you'll never regret it, I am no chameleon, I am exactly how I seem.
Broken, lost, hungry, and ambitious. I know not what I will do with my life, but I know I'd spend every second of each ******* day with you.

I hate the fact that I can never tell what my emotions are telling me, whether it is to love or hate,
Fight or run. I will not run from you, commitment does not scare me when I think of you. My actions will speak for these beliefs I have, and I hope I don't scare you away.
343 · Dec 2014
Untitled
Nisren Dec 2014
Depression has me by the throat every day,
stealing my voice,
along with my sense of pride.
237 · Oct 2014
No laughing
Nisren Oct 2014
Robbed of a joy
Kept from the soulful
Not a smile in sight.
When people all laugh at jokes and I can't naturally laugh or fake it.

— The End —