the days have become more of a drag,
I find myself disconnected from those around me,
unable to form bonds that should be everlasting.

I cry when I can,
Or when my heart allows me to,
yet there still tends to be pain that follows when the tears subside, there seems to be no other way in which to relieve the heartache I am feeling, than through sleeping when there's still daylight out because my mind and my soul become restless as the sun comes down and the moon rises

This is when the darkness takes over and it becomes less appealing to find beauty through the mess of sorrow that remains scattered throughout my heart

I will not allow others to see the painful sides of me that have been buried deep in the foregoing life I have lived and will continue to live

I would wait
a thousand
years just to hear
you tell me why you left

just to you hear you
say I love you

just to see you
turn back in time
and take care of me

just to watch you
cry at my funeral

just to know
you love me

just to understand
why you didn't
want me

just to know
the million reasons
why you couldn't love me...

The people
  around me
      the ones who
        surround me
            
Are also the ones
    who left me behind
        on my own to bear
           the vastness of this
             big trench called pain

Assumption can lead to
    Extremely difficult roads
        It often leads to a large path
           Full of emptiness trying to find
              Ourselves on our own

Not wanting to reach out
   Because of the fear the people
         We LOVE may HURT us by
              Silently judging the mistakes
                 We are continuously making

Left alone by the people
I love because
they assume
its what I want

See they think but don't ask
they assume but rather leave me be
when they could be helping me
instead of watching me cry...

im trapped in my own disastrous head
running on a treadmill of worry and regret

I keep lying
Yet you keep
forgiving me,

I keep breaking
your heart but
you still love
me unconditionally

I keep crying
and saying
that I'm sorry
but am I really

I keep receiving
chances and
running with
them

not thinking of
the ongoing
damage I do
to myself
more than I
do to you

you guys
never
deserved
this

On my way
to find out
who I am I
destroy
everything in
my path

not looking
back on the
bridges I've
burnt,

In fear of
what I've
become and
the treacherous
things I have
done

I'm so sorry
I keep lying
maybe it's time
I finally go to
therapy so
you and I
can find the
real me

A question I seem
to have a difficult
time answering,

it may sound simple
do I Boast
and Brag?
Sometimes,

but Who doesn't,
Is it so wrong
to want
people to lke
me?

or should I just
become lonely
until the sun soon
rises and brings
me wonderful
people
along with
the new day

I just want
to get
the attention
of the
people surrounding me

or maybe even just one?

is it so wrong for
them to get
to know me

so that I
can share the
pain the
broken heart
all of which are
inside me

eating away at
my optimism

gnawing at
the love I used
to be
able to
hand out like
free candy

So to answer this
immorally complicated
question

can I be both?

because I am
I become pretentious
around the
people I want
to impress

and I become
un-conceited
around those
who need love
and compassion

the ones who need
a stranger to
give them
a hug
or a smile

I will continue
to spread
the love
that was
never given
to me

that's all
the world
and I
need

so can
you please
do the
same for
me?

As he walked through the city
he experienced things new
and some versed

some things he saw
and he became apprehensive
second-guessing his decision to explore

Times he stayed and watched
exhilarated by things youthful

Times he would listen to
and become enamored
by which the sounds he could hear

as wandering time passed
he began to lose track of the days
that had passed

A word in her vocabulary she knows very well,

She feels it every day,

Like a knife stabbing her in the back,

The words hurled at her every day,

Thinking of running away,

Wanting to leave everyone behind,

Needing a fresh start,

If only she had the guts to leave...

I feel as if I am stuck here in the same spot

I feel happy some days then sad the others

I can't seem to figure out what's wrong

Why am I so sad?

so hurt

I don't eat as much as I used to,

I can't sleep at night,

Everything I do feels useless,

I only want to succeed so I can leave,

Nothing feels right,

No one listens,

No one understands,

If only they knew...

I hate it because I become vulnerable in front of others.
They start to see a side of me that is depressed, unhappy, or whatever they may call it as they see.
I don’t like feeling this way, feeling as if I’m a mourner at a never ending funeral.
If you saw my true colors all you would see is blue.